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Cherrieland
Long Beach, California
Related to country: United States
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Crap-doozles, I just had a quick squiz over my 2008 postings and boy have they been dense. Sorry, mates - must have been a bit too absorbed in the mind. WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN ME!!!! =P Anyway, onto the LB of the CA, the B-phys for the scien-tists... I should be a rapper. I'm finding it hard to filter at the moment, so I'll just do a mind-dump and try highlight the more interesting parts. Anyway, for those who don't know or can't remember - the Biophysical Society has an annual meeting for biophysicists around the world to communicate their research. This year, I was lucky enough to be sponsored by my lab group (warm fuzzies) to go present the research I did last year. Yes, "research I did" still cracks me up. I. Anticipating
Waiting and Delays
 Arriving monstrously early at Wlg airport means spending a monstrous number of hours in a place with nothing to do. Fortunately, I was in an extremely agreeable mood, so I thought nothing of it. I don't mind delays, either, as long as they don't interfere with my schedule. I can entertain myself just fine, thank you.
What did touch a few nerves was "we are late for departure due to the plane's late arrival." What does that statement even achieve except for try to blame someone else? Weird.
The Walk Jeremy Clarkson does not speak highly of the walk between Auckland domestic and international airports. His description would have me think that someone was forcing him to run a marathon with his luggage... uphill... and on one leg. It was actually very short, very easy and very bland. Poor Clarkson. I'll still read his books though, coz he's damn funny. To Gate 10 and a little Paranoid Story
 Barely able to contain the excitement bubbling just under my skin, I made a beeline for Gate 10 (AKL --> LAX), where MC was already. At first I couldn't find him, so that entertained the idea that the entire conference-poster-paper thing is a conspiracy to bring me down before I can build on a reputation and/or career. Similar to my work scenario right now, where giving me huge responsibility and potential to direct change is just a setup to watch me crash and burn. No matter, because I get kicks from a huge potential fall and I don't really think these people are hating on me. =P It's just me self-doubting - why me? Why would they want me?
It was cool to see MC, although I was quite aware that I would have to be very careful about how annoying I am!!! TK is always kindly reminding me of how annoying I am from HK to AKL. Thanks. I don't personally think I'm that annoying, but hey I respect the opinions of others and I don't want to annoy MC.
Boarding and Flying Board! Board! Board! So excited. MC recommended The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert. Quite funny, cool costumes and soundtrack. Actually, it was much funnier than I expected. Heh. Some good quotes from there, methinks. I also watched The Jane Austin Book Club, which was a chicky flick so you need a bit of patience. A few cutesy, funny bits though. On the way back, I watched Magic Boy, which was pretty crap but I enjoyed the HK-flavoured cutesy things. I understand those social things more than any social thing I gather in NZ. Even though I have spent a larger portion of my life here. I also watched most of Transformers. I will have to watch the ending some time, since I fell asleep. But it totally wasn't what I expected. The whole film is just silly-humour, which I don't mind except that it danced dangerously-close to stupid-humour, like the type you find in teen movies or when some drunk guy pees in a bottle and that's supposed to be funny. I sped-listened to a few albums, but I'm still really feeling Alicia Keys' As I Am. Note to self, I have to get some in-ear earphones.
Arrival
 AAAAARRRRRRRRRGHH!!! WOW - in L.A.!!! LOS ANGELES. Sweet! All of the excitement over what lies just beyond the known mixing with memories from the first time. So thrilling to be knocked slightly off axle - not completely sure how things work, where things are...
As we waited for the shuttle to come, I was amazed by the fact I was in another country again. I was amazed by the different cars, buildings, trees and people... almost a different sky even though I know it is not... I was humbled by the look on people's faces when you give them a genuine smile, as if for a moment they have come out of their own skin. I also marvelled at the length, yet uniformity of a set of false eyelashes the shuttle organiser had on. I wondered whether she had preened herself for work or whether she was meeting someone.
I think I slept through most of the ride to Long Beach. But as we arrived, I recognised the streets and buildings that I had semi-explored using Google Maps. I like having the water nearby because it gives me a reference point and I feel more ready to explore. It's a good feeling. We checked into the hotel and it was good to have a few hours just to recharge. I unpacked into roomy drawers and cupboard, then discovered a shower with two shower-heads and a double-lined curtain, hair conditioner that actually works and thick, semi-soft towels and most importantly, a soft yet firm bed with endless pillows, thick yet semi-light duvet and crisp sheets. So heavenly. Although it still doesn't really compare to my own bed. =P
II. There
The First Time
We registered/picked up stuff and went to talks in the Membrane Biophysics Subgroup (Channel Gating Modifiers and Modulators). Getting back into the language of science was much easier than I thought and already I was taking comfort in the fact I could communicate with MC without first having to think, "now, how would a business person interpret this?" Likewise, when we met up with CS at the Opening Mixer, it was good to be able to talk as I have talked for a year. I am still quite shocked at why this is so. I also wonder how much CE has changed me and how much more it will. I am still learning to talk two decades after my first word. I saw MC and CS talk with various colleagues and people introducing themselves to talk of potential connections and collaborations. It was exciting and amusing... I guess you could say that at that stage I hadn't even realised I was overwhelmed - but I was and I'm glad I had those two there. Subsequent Times and Tomorrow
As I attended more sessions and looked at more posters, I began to paint a picture of what Biophysics was all about. I tried to engage in others' research for the subject itself, but also for ideas that may be translated to 'my own' (having 'my own' research still feels weird to me). I was more attracted to methodology and motivation as opposed to the actual conclusions. I wondered whether this reflected the ambiguity and often meaninglessness of conclusions or whether it revealed something about my interest in knowledge and science. Do I like science or do I like knowledge? I think I like science - building knowledge and what it can be used for. In any case, I saw a few projects that made me think about my future project in new ways. They also made me think about problem-solving in a slightly different way.
I was very aware that I found it difficult to understand a lot of people's work. Again, I didn't know whether it was because they sucked or I sucked. Probably a bit of both, since I am not that familiar with the wide-range of techniques and approaches to problem-solving. I mean, I guess that is why I am here. But I have to admit I am a little disappointed that international level scientists are not better or more attentive towards the communication of their research. Again, people who do not put this effort in can simply not have the right to complain they are misunderstood in their institutions, let alone the general public. I'm not saying that it doesn't take two to tango though. Still, even if people aren't interested in communication for communication's sake (I can't really understand that), then they must still be interested in funding. And funding is so dependent on public pressure, as well as society's value on intellect and Education.
BOX 1: Science, The Unsung Hero
I find the continuing disinterest in science and thought particularly alarming in the US. I am told that many people in the US do not understand the concept of science, let alone trust it or even know what it has founded. The debate with evolution and intelligent design is huge, feeding growing concern about the quality of education their children are getting. This is on top of the fact that the US is split into 15,000 individual school districts.
In a conversation with someone I highly respect, the frustration was evident when describing society's apparent aversion from anything hard. I guess it's about finding a way to engage students long enough so that they are able to get closer to achievement. Once you feel what it means to achieve something, or get through something hard, you never look back. Psychologists say that lack of motivation can be due to lack of self-esteem. Or is it that people are not understanding integrity? Going all the way with a string of thoughts in life is just as important as following through in a netball game.
I'm going to have to carry on with this box in another post, with a brainstorm of things that I/you can do to help the case of science...no, thinking.
There were a few talks that got me really excited about being a part of science and being part of a group that is so complementary to my values. A lot of my skills are just seeds if anything at all and I am just so excited to see what I can make of them. The learning and teaching, thinking and sharing, knowing and feeling, testing and observing - all seem to describe myself as well as science. I guess my work right now tests whether I can feel this affinity for something else. Is what I feel with the lab group true? Actually, for a moment I thought perhaps that this group was unique and when I leave for another, I wouldn't care for 'science' as much. I don't know, but I am pretty confident that if that happens, I will still have direction in my life, as I always have.
Anyway, I wrote several things down that I need to look up and several things I need to do. Am I good enough? Will I be able to improve? I just heard Professor Randy Pausch say that you have to cherish feedback and critique because it's when you know you've done something mediocre/pathetic and no-one is telling you that you should worry - because they have given up. I completely agree and it is something I worry about a lot.
The Poster and a Starstruck Story
My poster was a Sunday poster and I stood by it from 2:45 to 4:30 PM. I don't know how many people saw it and I don't remember how many people asked me questions, but whatever it was, I wanted more. But I think I became a bit too preoccupied with this task, because I didn't get a lot of time to examine the other posters in my category. That's a bit annoying because that would have been the section that I had the highest chances of understanding.
I did get a chance to scope out some of the people whose names I recognise. That was pretty cool, though I can say that it doesn't compare to the first time I found a paper by CS and noted (I know, I am so observant) that he was just down the hall. I remember telling him this soon after and he seemed sort of surprised/amused at my reaction - I guess he hadn't been aware how ignorant I was regarding how science actually worked. I often wonder whether my ignorance was on par with the average second year undergraduate. Anyway, poster day was a bit too stimulating for me - I'd talked a lot, met a lot of people and learnt a lot of things I never imagined knowing. So I ended up in bed by 9 PM - counting sit ups (100, 101...) and kicks, thinking about the day, feeling anxious and excited and realising that I hadn't eaten since 6:30 PM the night before. Not that I was missing much in terms of great tastes.
All I have to say is, everyday I realise I am changing. In ways I can hardly predict.
Food and Dinners
Food in the US is notoriously large in portions and high in fat. Yes, yes. All I taste is grease. Oh sorry, yes, also sugar and salt. Did I mention grease? Oh, well you can taste it by smell even if you try to avoid eating it. The trouble with grease is that it makes you want more grease and honestly, a good yoghurt doesn't really compare to a juicy burger. But it's not like I'm going to let a few days in the US ruin my new self-body-image and -esteem. Self-control is key.
Dinners in the US were great! I enjoyed all the conversations and laughs... am especially appreciative of the company. It's just that people don't have to be nice to me (or anyone), spend time with me, help me... and yet they do, you know? I'm very grateful for that and very aware of what it takes to get along with me. At the same time (and sort of unrelated to this trip, but nonetheless it's brought up now), I realise that some people associate with me for their own benefits. I am still unsure how to deal with this, as I am still going through the motions of being hurt and embarrassed. I don't even know that I need to be more protective, as that type of change would be an insult to my own integrity. Do you think? I am unsure. I had a few good conversations with MC and CS (separately) and I often wonder what they think. Maybe the day I figure this out will be the day I know I'm ready to graduate. Or something.
I went to the Graduate Breakfast, which was ok but I thought it was not very well organised. Met some nice people, though not as many as I had expected. Some people were more friendly than others.
III. Coming Down
 Aquarium of the Pacific
So the aquarium is NOT the gigantic structure with sea-life painted all over it. No, it is the other building, three blocks away, that has no animals printed on it whatsoever. Brilliant. Anyway, I really like museums, galleries and collections of that nature, so I was quite enthusiastic about this visit and especially with MC there, who would know lots of izzle to complement the sights. Anyway, the aquarium was very pretty I admit, but lacking in information associated with the displays. That is also ok I guess, since I can look up information later.
BOX 2: I'm Creature, I'm Earth, My Mother, My Birth
What really got to me was learning about the distress of the animals, the damage that is brought down upon their habitats and how little anyone cares. Here are beautiful creatures and plants - silent against a backdrop of screaming children running around teachers who seem nonchalant about enriching their students' minds, let alone bringing forth a sense of social and environmental responsibility. There is a curiosity in living things, in our surroundings and how it all works that is crushed by peer pressure.
Ashamedly, I do recall that I used to be very passionate about my dolphins, whales and environment (I was never into horses, excuse me =P). But somehow that got lost. Maybe it was because I made that speech about the environment that was 2 minutes too long and everyone rolled their eyes at me. Maybe it was because I moved onto college and school-work took over my life. Maybe I just cared less. I don't know. I still have my posters, drawings and books. Hm. Sometimes I feel so apathetic. Am I? Have I become what I promised myself not to become? Anyway, I need a few days to downsize a few videos I took. They will be posted soon.
 Shoreline Village
There was a free afternoon on Wednesday that I spent walking along the waterfront. I like doing that and it feels familiar to me, like the waterfront in Wellington or Auckland. I walked as far as the beach and turned into the city. Again, a stranger nodded hello and walked on by. I am not sure why I am seeing a more friendly side of Long Beach than people have been telling me. That's my shadow in the photo there. I also managed to see Shoreline Village at night later on and that was really cool. I love roaming around, seeing and trying new things, talking to locals, breathing the air... And at night, it's a totally different experience.
The Way Back
I guess I was sorta sad and very tired on the flight back. I guess it ended too soon, but I feel motivated, inspired and very much grateful and humbled over where I am and what I have.
IV. Summary
I'm back on Earth, but maybe I have changed again. I have a warm feeling in my stomach that rises up suddenly like bubbles and I can't help but smile. Sometimes it's released as a giggle or even a laugh, but who cares what other people think? I am grateful for the people I have around me and the opportunities I have. There is still uncertainty over what I can do, what will become of me, but I have a much stronger sense of who I am now. I feel so ready to step up and I think I have made that mental move. A little more focussed, a little more alive.
Oh, I've started reading " The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold. :) I have recently read " The Chinese Room" by Vivian Connell, which I thought was pretty good. I don't know if I mentioned, but I also read " As You Thinketh" by James Allen and " Concepts of the Self" by Anthony Elliot. The latter was pretty good. The former, not so good. I've also read this paper produced by HP regarding the use of Facebook. Ok to dull paper. Been thinking about ICTs in the workplace and society. Have downloaded some papers on science and education, research-related stuff. I want to hit the ground running. But I have to remember why I am here. I need to learn to drive!!!
Long Beach, la Californie
Automatically translated into French thanks to WorldLingo
Chiez-doozles, j'ai juste eu un squiz rapide au-dessus de mes 2008 postings et garçons les avoir étés denses. Désolés, les compagnons - doivent avoir été un peu trop absorbé dans l'esprit. POURQUOI VOUS NE M'AVEZ PAS AVERTI ! ! ! ! =P de toute façon, sur livre du CA, le B-phys pour les scientifiques… Je devrais être un frappeur. J'ai du mal à filtrer à l'heure actuelle, ainsi je ferai juste un point culminant d'esprit-décharge et d'essai les pièces plus intéressantes. Quoi qu'il en soit, pour ceux qui ne savent pas ou ne peuvent pas se rappeler - Société biophysique a une réunion annuelle pour des biophysiciens autour du monde pour communiquer leur recherche. Cette année, j'étais assez chanceux pour être commandité par mon groupe de laboratoire (fuzzies chauds) pour aller présent la recherche que j'ai faite l'année dernière. Oui, la « recherche que je » me fend toujours vers le haut. I. Prévoir
L'attente et retarde
Arrivée monstrueusement tôt aux moyens d'aéroport de Wlg dépensant un nombre monstrueux d'heures dans un endroit avec rien à faire. Heureusement, j'étais dans une humeur extrêmement agréable, ainsi je n'ai pensé rien à lui. Je ne m'occupe pas retarde, non plus, tant que ils n'interfèrent pas mon programme. Je peux m'amuser juste fin, merci.
Ce qui [[did]] touchez quelques nerfs était « nous sommes en retard pour le départ dû à l'arrivée tardive de l'avion. » Queest-ce que ce rapport réalise même excepté l'essai pour blâmer quelqu'un d'autre ? Étrange.
La promenade Jeremy Clarkson ne parle pas fortement de la promenade entre les aéroports domestiques et internationaux d'Auckland. Sa description me ferait penser que quelqu'un le forçait à courir un marathon avec son bagage… vers le haut… et sur une jambe. Il était réellement très court, très facile et très doux. Pauvre Clarkson. Je immobile lis ses livres cependant, coz qu'il est fichu drôle. Pour déclencher 10 et une petite histoire paranoïde
À peine capable contenir l'excitation bouillonnant juste sous ma peau, j'ai fait un beeline pour la porte 10 (AKL --> RELÂCHÉ), où MC était déjà. Au début je ne pourrais pas le trouver, de sorte qu'amusé l'idée cela la chose entière de conférence-affiche-papier est une conspiration pour me réduire avant que je puisse construire sur une réputation et/ou une carrière. Semblable à mon scénario de travail en ce moment, à où me donner la responsabilité et le potentiel énormes de diriger le changement est juste une installation observez-moi se briser et brûler. Aucune matière, parce que moi obtenons des éruptions d'une chute potentielle énorme et moi ne pensent vraiment que ces personnes détestent sur moi. =P il est juste j'individu-doutant - pourquoi je ? Pourquoi me voudraient-ils ? Il faisait frais pour voir MC, bien que je me sois rendu tout à fait compte que je devrais faire attention très au sujet d'à quel point je gênant suis ! ! ! Le TK toujours me rappelle avec bonté à quel point je gênant suis de HK à AKL. Merci. Je ne pense pas personnellement que je suis cela gêner, mais hé je respecte les avis de d'autres et d'I pas voulez gêner MC.
Embarquer et voler Conseil ! Conseil ! Conseil ! Ainsi passionnant. MC a recommandé Les aventures de la reine de Priscilla du désert. Costumes et bande sonore tout à fait drôles et frais. En fait, il était beaucoup plus drôle que moi ai prévu. Heh. Citations d'un certain bon de là, methinks. J'ai également observé Le club de livre de Jane Austin, qui était une chiquenaude chicky ainsi vous avez besoin d'un peu de patience. Quelque peu cutesy et drôle cependant. Sur le chemin en arrière, j'ai observé Garçon magique, qui était jolie merde mais j'ai apprécié les choses cutesy HK-assaisonnées. Je comprends ces choses sociales davantage que n'importe quelle chose sociale que je recueille dans NZ. Quoique j'aie dépensé un plus grand partagez de ma vie ici. J'ai également observé les la plupart de Transformateurs. Je devrai observer la fin une certaine heure, puisque je suis tombé endormi. Mais n'était pas totalement il ce que j'ai compté. Le film entier est une idiot-humeur juste, dont je ne m'occupe pas sauf qu'il a dansé dangereux-ferment la stupide-humeur, comme le type que vous trouvez dans des films de l'adolescence ou quand un certain type ivre fait pipi dans une bouteille et celui est censé être drôle. J'expédier-ai écouté quelques albums, mais je me sens toujours vraiment Alicia Keys' Comme je suis. Note à l'individu, je dois obtenir quelques écouteurs de dans-oreille.
Arrivée
AAAAARRRRRRRRRGHH ! ! ! DÉFAUT DE LA REPRODUCTION SONORE - dans L.A. ! ! ! LOS ANGELES. Doux ! Toute les excitation au-dessus de ce qui se trouve juste au delà du mélange connu à des mémoires du première fois. Ainsi faisant frémir pour être frappé légèrement outre de l'axe - pas complètement sûr comment les choses fonctionnent, où les choses sont…
Car nous avons attendu la navette pour venir, j'ai été stupéfié par le fait que j'étais dans un autre pays encore. J'ai été stupéfié par les voitures, les bâtiments, les arbres et les personnes différents… presque un ciel différent quoique je le sache n'est pas… J'ai été humilié par le regard sur les visages des personnes quand vous leur donnez un sourire véritable, comme si pendant un moment ils sont sortis de leur propre peau. Je marvelled également à la longueur, pourtant uniformité d'un ensemble de cils faux que l'organisateur de navette a eus dessus. Je me suis demandé si elle s'était lissée pour le travail ou si elle était réunion quelqu'un.
Je pense que j'ai dormi par la majeure partie du tour à Long Beach. Mais pendant que nous arrivions, j'ai identifié les rues et les bâtiments que je semi-finale-avais exploré employer Cartes de Google. J'aime avoir l'eau voisin parce qu'elle me donne un point de référence et je me sens plus prêt à l'explorer. C'est un bon sentiment. Nous avons vérifié dans l'hôtel et il était bon pour avoir quelques heures justes pour se recharger. J'ai déballé dans les tiroirs spacieux et le compartiment, alors découverts une douche avec deux verser-têtes et un rideau double-rayé, conditionneur de cheveux qui fonctionne réellement et les serviettes épaisses et mi-douces et d'une manière plus importante, un doux pourtant lit ferme avec les oreillers sans fin, couette épaisse pourtant de semi-finale-lumière et feuilles croquantes. Tellement divinement. Bien qu'il toujours ne compare pas vraiment à mon propre lit. =P
II. Là
La première fois que
Nous nous sommes enregistrés/pris substances et sommes allés aux entretiens dans Sous-groupe de biophysique de membrane (modificateurs de déclenchement et modulateurs de la Manche). Obtenir de nouveau dans la langue de la science était beaucoup plus facile qu'I pensé et déjà je prenait le confort dans le fait que je pourrais communiquer avec MC sans devoir d'abord penser, « maintenant, comment une personne d'affaires interpréterait ceci ? » De même, quand nous avons rencontré le CS au Mélangeur d'ouverture, il était bon de pouvoir parler car j'ai parlé pendant une année. J'encore suis tout choqué à pourquoi c'est ainsi. Je me demande également combien CE m'a changé et combien plus il. J'apprends toujours à parler deux décennies après mon premier mot. Je scie MC et CS parle avec de divers collègues et personnes se présentant à l'entretien des raccordements et des collaborations potentiels. Il était passionnant et amusant… Je devine vous pourriez dire qu'à cette étape je n'avais pas même réalisé que j'ai été accablé - mais j'étais et je suis heureux j'ai eu ces deux là. Périodes suivantes et demain
Car j'ai assisté à plus de sessions et ai regardé plus d'affiches, j'ai commencé à peindre un tableau de quelle biophysique était tout environ. J'ai essayé d'engager dans d'autres la recherche pour le sujet elle-même, mais également pour les idées qui peuvent être traduites « mes propres » (ayant « mes propres » la recherche se sent toujours étrange à moi). Je davantage ai été attiré à la méthodologie et à la motivation par opposition aux conclusions réelles. Je me suis demandé si ceci a reflété l'ambiguïté et souvent le meaninglessness des conclusions ou s'il a indiqué quelque chose au sujet de mon intérêt pour la connaissance et la science. J'aime la science ou j'aiment la connaissance ? Je pense que j'aime la science - la connaissance de bâtiment et pour ce qu'il peut être employé. De toute façon, j'ai vu quelques projets qui m'ont incité à penser à mon futur projet de nouvelles manières. Ils m'ont également incité à penser environ la résolution des problèmes d'une manière légèrement différente.
Je me rendais très compte que je l'aie trouvé difficile de comprendre beaucoup du travail des personnes. Encore, je n'ai pas su s'il était parce qu'ils ont sucé ou j'ai sucé. Un peu de tous les deux probablement, puisque je ne suis pas celui au courant de la large-gamme des techniques et des approches à la résolution des problèmes. Je veux dire, je devine qui est pourquoi je suis ici. Mais je dois admettre que je suis déçu que les scientifiques de niveau internationaux ne sont pas meilleurs ou plus attentifs vers communication de leur recherche. Encore, les gens qui ne mettent pas cet effort dedans ne peuvent pas simplement avoir le droit de se plaindre ils sont mal compris dans leurs établissements, encore moins le grand public. Je ne dis pas qu'il ne prend pas deux au tango cependant. Toujours, même si les gens ne sont pas intéressés par la communication dans l'intéret de la communication (je ne peux pas vraiment comprendre que), puis eux doit encore être intéressé à placer. Et le placement dépend si de la pression publique, aussi bien que la valeur de la société sur l'intellect et l'éducation.
BOÎTE 1 : La Science, le héros méconnu
Je trouve le désintérêt continu en science et pensée en particulier alarmant aux USA. Je suis dit que beaucoup de gens aux USA ne comprennent pas le concept de la science, encore moins pour lui faire confiance ou même pour savoir ce qu'il a fondé. La discussion avec l'évolution et la conception intelligente est souci croissant énorme et alimentant concernant la qualité de l'éducation que leurs enfants obtiennent. C'est sur le fait que les USA sont coupés en 15.000 différentes zones d'école.
Dans une conversation avec quelqu'un que je respecte fortement, l'anéantissement était évident en décrivant l'aversion apparente de la société de n'importe quoi dur. Je devine qu'il est au sujet de trouver une manière d'engager des étudiants assez longs de sorte qu'ils puissent obtenir plus près de l'accomplissement. Une fois que jugez vous ce qui il signifie pour réaliser quelque chose, ou obtient par quelque chose de dur, vous ne regardez en arrière jamais. Les psychologues disent que le manque de motivation peut être dû au manque d'amour-propre. Ou est-ce ces personnes ne sont-il pas intégrité d'arrangement ? Aller toute manière avec de la corde des pensées dans la vie est comme important juste que suivant à travers dans un jeu de netball.
Je vais devoir continuer avec cette boîte dans un autre poteau, avec une idée de génie des choses qu'I/you peut faire pour aider le cas du No. de la science…, pensée.
Il y avait quelques entretiens qui m'ont obtenu vraiment passionnan'au sujet d'être une partie de la science et faire partie d'un groupe qui est si complémentaire à mes valeurs. Beaucoup de mes qualifications sont les graines justes si quelque chose du tout et moi suis justes ainsi passionnants pour voir ce que je peux faire de elles. L'étude et enseignement, pensée et partage, savoir et se sentir, examiner et observer - tous semblent se décrire aussi bien que la science. Je devine mes essais de travail en ce moment si je peux sentir cette affinité pour autre chose. Est ce qui me sens j'avec le groupe de laboratoire vrai ? En fait, pendant un moment I a pensé peut-être que ce groupe était unique et quand je pars pour des autres, je ne s'inquiéterait pas de la « science » autant. Je ne sais pas, mais je suis assez confiant qui si cela se produit, J'immobile aurai la direction dans ma vie, comme j'ai toujours.
Quoi qu'il en soit, j'ai écrit plusieurs choses dont j'ai besoin pour rechercher et plusieurs choses que je dois faire. Est-ce que je suis assez bon ? Est-ce que je pourrai s'améliorer ? Je viens d'apprendre Professeur Randy Pausch dites que vous devez aimer la rétroaction et la critique parce qu'il est quand vous savez vous aient fait quelque chose de médiocre/pathétique et personne est te disant que vous devriez s'inquiéter - parce qu'ils ont abandonné. Je conviens complètement et il est quelque chose que je m'inquiète environ beaucoup.
L'affiche et une histoire de Starstruck
Mon affiche était une affiche de dimanche et je me suis tenu prêt la de 2:45 à 4:30 P.M. Je ne connais pas combien de personnes ont vu qu'il et je ne se rappellent pas combien les gens ont demandé m'à des questions, mais celui qui il ait été, j'ai voulu plus. Mais je pense que je suis devenu un peu trop préoccupé avec ceci charge, parce que je n'ai pas obtenu beaucoup de temps d'examiner les autres affiches dans ma catégorie. C'est un peu gênant parce que c'aurait été la section que j'ai eu les chances les plus élevées de l'arrangement.
J'ai obtenu à une chance à la portée dehors une partie du peuple dont les noms j'identifie. C'était assez frais, bien que je puisse dire qu'il ne compare pas la première fois à moi a trouvé un papier par CS et (je sais, je suis si observateur) le ce remarquable il était juste en bas du hall. Je me rappelle de lui dire ceci peu après qu'et il ait semblé sorte d'étonnant/d'amusé à ma réaction - je devine qu'il ne s'était pas rendu compte comment j'ignorant considérais comment la science a fonctionné réellement. Je me demande souvent si mon ignorance était sur le pair avec le deuxième étudiant préparant une licence moyen d'année. Quoi qu'il en soit, le jour d'affiche était un peu stimulant trop pour moi - j'avais parlé beaucoup, un bon nombre de gens rencontré et beaucoup appris de choses que je n'ai jamais imaginé savoir. Ainsi j'ai fini vers le haut dans le lit par 9 P.M. - en comptant reposez-vous se lève (100, 101…) et éruptions, pensant au jour, se sentant impatient et passionnan'et se rendant compte que je n'avais pas mangé depuis 6:30 P.M. la nuit avant. Pas que je manquais beaucoup en termes de grand goût.
Tout que je dois dire est, journalier je réalise que je change. Des manières je peux à peine prévoir.
Nourriture et dîners
La nourriture aux USA est notoirement grande dans les parties et haut en graisse. Oui, oui. Tout goût d'I est graisse. Oh désolé, oui, également sucrent et salent. Est-ce que j'ai mentionné la graisse ? Ah, puits vous pouvez le goûter par l'odeur même si vous essayez d'éviter de la manger. La difficulté avec la graisse est qu'elle vous incite à vouloir plus de graisse et honnêtement, un bon yaourt ne compare pas vraiment à un hamburger juteux. Mais ce n'est pas comme je vais laisse quelques jours aux USA ruine ma nouvelle individu-corps-image et - estime. Le sang-froid est clef.
Les dîners aux USA étaient grands ! J'ai apprécié tous conversations et rires… AM particulièrement élogieux de la compagnie. Il est juste que les gens pas ayez pour être gentil me (ou à n'importe qui), passez le temps avec moi, m'aident… mais ils, vous savez ? I'm very grateful for that and very aware of what it takes to get along with me. At the same time (and sort of unrelated to this trip, but nonetheless it's brought up now), I realise that some people associate with me for their own benefits. I am still unsure how to deal with this, as I am still going through the motions of being hurt and embarrassed. I don't even know that I need to be more protective, as that type of change would be an insult to my own integrity. Do you think? I am unsure. I had a few good conversations with MC and CS (separately) and I often wonder what they think. Maybe the day I figure this out will be the day I know I'm ready to graduate. Or something.
I went to the Graduate Breakfast, which was ok but I thought it was not very well organised. Met some nice people, though not as many as I had expected. Some people were more friendly than others.
III. Coming Down
Aquarium of the Pacific
So the aquarium is NOT the gigantic structure with sea-life painted all over it. No, it is the other building, three blocks away, that has no animals printed on it whatsoever. Brilliant. Anyway, I really like museums, galleries and collections of that nature, so I was quite enthusiastic about this visit and especially with MC there, who would know lots of izzle to complement the sights. Anyway, the aquarium was very pretty I admit, but lacking in information associated with the displays. That is also ok I guess, since I can look up information later.
BOX 2: I'm Creature, I'm Earth, My Mother, My Birth
What really got to me was learning about the distress of the animals, the damage that is brought down upon their habitats and how little anyone cares. Here are beautiful creatures and plants - silent against a backdrop of screaming children running around teachers who seem nonchalant about enriching their students' minds, let alone bringing forth a sense of social and environmental responsibility. There is a curiosity in living things, in our surroundings and how it all works that is crushed by peer pressure.
Ashamedly, I do recall that I used to be very passionate about my dolphins, whales and environment (I was never into horses, excuse me =P). But somehow that got lost. Maybe it was because I made that speech about the environment that was 2 minutes too long and everyone rolled their eyes at me. Maybe it was because I moved onto college and school-work took over my life. Maybe I just cared less. I don't know. I still have my posters, drawings and books. Hm. Sometimes I feel so apathetic. Am I? Have I become what I promised myself not to become? Anyway, I need a few days to downsize a few videos I took. They will be posted soon.
Shoreline Village There was a free afternoon on Wednesday that I spent walking along the waterfront. I like doing that and it feels familiar to me, like the waterfront in Wellington or Auckland. I walked as far as the beach and turned into the city. Again, a stranger nodded hello and walked on by. I am not sure why I am seeing a more friendly side of Long Beach than people have been telling me. That's my shadow in the photo there. I also managed to see Shoreline Village at night later on and that was really cool. I love roaming around, seeing and trying new things, talking to locals, breathing the air... And at night, it's a totally different experience.
The Way Back
I guess I was sorta sad and very tired on the flight back. I guess it ended too soon, but I feel motivated, inspired and very much grateful and humbled over where I am and what I have.
IV. Summary
I'm back on Earth, but maybe I have changed again. I have a warm feeling in my stomach that rises up suddenly like bubbles and I can't help but smile. Sometimes it's released as a giggle or even a laugh, but who cares what other people think? I am grateful for the people I have around me and the opportunities I have. There is still uncertainty over what I can do, what will become of me, but I have a much stronger sense of who I am now. I feel so ready to step up and I think I have made that mental move. A little more focussed, a little more alive.
Oh, I've started reading " The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold. :) I have recently read " The Chinese Room" by Vivian Connell, which I thought was pretty good. I don't know if I mentioned, but I also read " As You Thinketh" by James Allen and " Concepts of the Self" by Anthony Elliot. The latter was pretty good. The former, not so good. I've also read this paper produced by HP regarding the use of Facebook. Ok to dull paper. Been thinking about ICTs in the workplace and society. Have downloaded some papers on science and education, research-related stuff. I want to hit the ground running. But I have to remember why I am here. I need to learn to drive!!!
Long Beach, California
Automatically translated into Spanish thanks to WorldLingo
Crap-doozles, acabo de tener un squiz rápido sobre mis 2008 postings y muchachos tenerlos sidos densos. Apesadumbrados, los compañeros - deben haber sido un pedacito absorbido también en la mente. ¡PORQUÉ USTED NO ME ADVIRTIÓ!!!! =P de todos modos, sobre la libra del CA, el B-phys para los científicos… Debo ser un rapper. Estoy encontrando duro filtrarse en el momento, así que apenas haré un toque de luz de la mente-descarga y del intento las piezas más interesantes. De todas formas, para los que no saben ni pueden recordar - Sociedad biofísica tiene una reunión anual para los biophysicists alrededor del mundo para comunicar su investigación. Este año, era bastante afortunado ser patrocinado por mi grupo del laboratorio (fuzzies calientes) para ir presente la investigación que hice el año pasado. Sí, la “investigación que lo hice” todavía me agrieta para arriba. I. El anticipar
El esperar y retrasa
El llegar monstruoso temprano los medios del aeropuerto de Wlg que pasan un número monstruoso de horas en un lugar con nada hacer. Afortunadamente, estaba en un humor extremadamente conforme, yo no pensé tan nada en él. No importo retraso, tampoco, mientras no interfieran con mi horario. Puedo entretenerme apenas fino, gracias.
Qué [[did]] toque algunos nervios era “somos atrasados para la salida debido a la llegada con retraso del plano.” ¿Qué esa declaración incluso alcanza a excepción de intento para culpar a algún otro? Extraño.
La caminata Jeremy Clarkson no habla altamente de la caminata entre los aeropuertos domésticos e internacionales de Auckland. Su descripción hizo que pensara que alguien lo forzaba funcionar un maratón con su equipaje… cuesta arriba… y en una pierna. Era realmente muy corto, muy fácil y muy suave. Clarkson pobre. Inmóvil leo sus libros sin embargo, coz que él es divertido maldito. Para bloquear 10 y una pequeña historia paranoica
Apenas capaz de contener el entusiasmo que burbujeaba apenas debajo de mi piel, hice un beeline para la puerta 10 (AKL --> FLOJO), donde estaba la bujía métrica ya. No podría encontrarlo al principio, de modo que entretenido la idea eso la cosa entera del conferencia-cartel-papel es una conspiración para traerme abajo antes de que pueda construir en una reputación y/o una carrera. Similar a mi panorama del trabajo ahora, a donde está justo darme responsabilidad y potencial enormes de dirigir el cambio una disposición míreme estrellarse y quemarse. Ninguna materia, porque yo conseguimos los retrocesos a partir de una caída potencial enorme y yo realmente no piensa que esta gente está odiando en mí. =P es justo yo uno mismo-que duda - ¿por qué yo? ¿Por qué me desearían? ¡Estaba fresco ver la bujía métrica, aunque estaba absolutamente enterado que tendría que tener muy cuidado sobre cómo molesta soy!!! El TK siempre me está recordando amablemente cómo molesta soy de HK a AKL. Grazias. No pienso personalmente que soy eso molestia, pero hey respeto las opiniones de otras y de I no desee molestar la bujía métrica.
El subir y el volar ¡Tablero! ¡Tablero! ¡Tablero! Excitado tan. La bujía métrica recomendó Las aventuras de la reina de Priscilla del desierto. Trajes y banda de sonido absolutamente divertidos, frescos. Realmente, era mucho más divertido que mí esperé. Heh. Cotizaciones algún bueno de allí, methinks. También miré El club del libro de Jane Austin, que era una película chicky así que usted necesita un poco paciencia. Algunos pedacitos cutesy, divertidos sin embargo. En la manera detrás, miré Muchacho mágico, que era crap bonito solamente gocé de las cosas cutesy HK-condimentadas. Entiendo esas cosas sociales más que cualquier cosa social que recolecte en NZ. Aun cuando he pasado una porción más grande de mi vida aquí. También miré la mayor parte de Transformadores. Tendré que mirar el conclusión una cierta hora, puesto que me caí dormido. Pero no era totalmente lo que esperé. La película entera es el tonto-humor justo, de que no importo salvo que bailó peligroso-cierra estúpido-humor, como el tipo que usted encuentra en películas adolescentes o cuando algún individuo borracho hace pis en una botella y ésa se supone para ser divertido. Apresurar-escuché algunos álbumes, pero todavía realmente me estoy sintiendo Alicia Keys' Como soy. Nota al uno mismo, tengo que conseguir algunos auriculares del en-oído.
Llegada
¡AAAAARRRRRRRRRGHH!!! ¡ULULACIÓN - en L.A.!!! LOS ÁNGELES. ¡Dulce! Todo el entusiasmo sobre qué miente justo más allá de mezclarse sabido con memorias del primera vez. Tan emocionando para ser golpeado levemente del árbol - no totalmente seguro cómo las cosas trabajan, donde están las cosas…
Pues esperamos la lanzadera para venir, el hecho me sorprendí que estaba en otro país otra vez. Los diversos coches, edificios, árboles y gente me sorprendí… casi un diverso cielo aun cuando que sé que no es… La mirada en las caras de la gente me humillé cuando usted les da una sonrisa genuina, como si por un momento hayan salido de su propia piel. También marvelled en la longitud, con todo uniformidad de un sistema de pestañas falsas que el organizador de la lanzadera tenía encendido. Me preguntaba si ella preened para el trabajo o si ella era reunión alguien.
Pienso que dormí con la mayor parte de el paseo a Long Beach. Pero como llegamos, reconocí las calles y los edificios que semi-había explorado usar Mapas de Google. Tengo gusto de tener el agua próximo porque me da un punto de referencia y me siento más listo explorar. Es una buena sensación. Comprobamos en el hotel y era bueno tener algunas horas justas recargar. Desempaqueté en cajones espaciosos y el armario, entonces descubiertos una ducha con dos regar-cabezas y una cortina doble-alineada, acondicionador del pelo que trabaja realmente y las toallas gruesas, semi-soft y más importante, una suavidad con todo cama firme con las almohadillas sin fin, duvet grueso con todo de la semi-luz y hojas quebradizas. Tan divinamente. Aunque todavía realmente no compara a mi propia cama. =P
II. Allí
La primera vez que
Nos colocamos/tomada materia y fuimos a las negociaciones en Subgrupo de la biofísica de la membrana (modificantes que bloquean y moduladores del canal). El conseguir nuevamente dentro de la lengua de la ciencia era mucho más fácil que I pensado y yo tomaba ya comodidad en el hecho que podría comunicarme con la bujía métrica sin primero tener que ahora pensar, “, cómo una persona del negocio interpretaría esto?” Asimismo, cuando nos reunimos el CS en Mezclador de la abertura, era bueno poder hablar pues he hablado por un año. Me todavía dan una sacudida eléctrica absolutamente en porqué esto está tan. También me pregunto cuánto CE me ha cambiado y cuánto más él. Todavía estoy aprendiendo hablar dos décadas después de mi primera palabra. La sierra bujía métrica y CS hablo con los varios colegas y la gente que se introducen con la charla de conexiones y de collaborations potenciales. Era emocionante y de diversión… Conjeturo usted podría decir que en esa etapa incluso no había realizado que me abrumaron - solamente era y estoy alegre yo tenía esos dos allí. Épocas subsecuentes y mañana
Pues atendí a más sesiones y miraba más carteles, comencé a pintar un cuadro de qué biofísica estaba todo alrededor. Intenté contratar a otros la investigación para el tema sí mismo, pero también para las ideas que se pueden traducir “mis el propios” (teniendo “mis el propios” la investigación todavía se siente extraña a mí). Me atrajeron más a la metodología y a la motivación en comparación con las conclusiones reales. Me preguntaba si esto reflejó la ambigüedad y a menudo el meaninglessness de conclusiones o si reveló algo sobre mi interés en conocimiento y ciencia. Tengo gusto de ciencia ¿o yo tienen gusto de conocimiento? Pienso que tengo gusto de ciencia - conocimiento del edificio y para qué puede ser utilizada. En todo caso, vi algunos proyectos que hicieron que piensa de mi proyecto futuro de nuevas maneras. También hicieron que piensa alrededor solucion de problemas de una manera levemente diversa.
Estaba muy enterado que encontré difícil de entender muchos del trabajo de la gente. Una vez más no sabía si era porque aspiraron o aspiré. Probablemente un poco ambos, puesto que no soy ése al corriente de la ancho-gama de técnicas y acercamientos a la solucion de problemas. Significo, yo conjeturo que sea porqué estoy aquí. Pero tengo que admitir que soy decepcionado poco que los científicos llanos internacionales no son mejores o más atentos hacia comunicación de su investigación. Una vez más la gente que no pone este esfuerzo adentro no puede simplemente tener la derecha de quejarse ella se entiende mal en sus instituciones, aún menos el público en general. No estoy diciendo que no lleva dos el tango sin embargo. No obstante, aunque la gente no está interesada en la comunicación para el motivo de la comunicación (no puedo realmente entender que), después ella debe todavía estar interesada en el financiamiento. Y el financiamiento es tan dependiente en la presión pública, así como el valor de la sociedad en intelecto y la educación.
CAJA 1: Ciencia, el héroe de Unsung
Encuentro la continuación la más disinterest de ciencia y pensamiento particularmente alarmándose en los E.E.U.U. Me dicen que mucha gente en los E.E.U.U. no entiende el concepto de la ciencia, aún menos para confiarlo en o aún para saber lo que ha fundado. El discusión con la evolución y el diseño inteligente es preocupación cada vez mayor enorme, de alimentación por la calidad de la educación que sus niños están consiguiendo. Éste es encima del hecho de que los E.E.U.U. están partidos en 15.000 districtos individuales de la escuela.
En una conversación con alguien que respeto altamente, la frustración era evidente al describir la aversión evidente de la sociedad cualquier cosa difícilmente. Conjeturo que está sobre encontrar una manera de contratar a estudiantes suficientemente largos de modo que puedan conseguir más cercano al logro. Una vez que usted se sienta lo que significa alcanzar algo, o consigue con algo duro, usted nunca mira detrás. Los psicólogos dicen que la carencia de la motivación puede ser debido a la carencia de la autoestima. ¿O es esa gente no está entendiendo integridad? El ir hasta el final con una cadena de pensamientos en vida es tan importante justo como siguiendo a través en un juego del netball.
Voy a tener que continuar con esta caja en otro poste, con una buena inspiración de las cosas que I/you puede hacer para ayudar al caso del No. de la ciencia…, pensamiento.
Había algunas negociaciones que me consiguieron realmente excitado sobre ser una parte de ciencia y el ser parte de un grupo que es tan complementario a mis valores. Los muchos de mis habilidades son semillas justas si cualquier cosa en todos y yo somos justos así que excitados para considerar lo que puedo hacer de ellos. El aprender y enseñanza, pensamiento y el compartir, el saber y sensación, prueba y observación - todos se parecen describirse así como ciencia. Conjeturo mis pruebas del trabajo ahora si puedo sentir esta afinidad para el algo más. ¿Es lo que me siento con el grupo del laboratorio verdad? Realmente, por un momento I pensó quizás que este grupo era único y cuando me voy para otro, yo no cuidaría para la “ciencia” tanto. No sé, sino que soy bastante confidente que si sucede eso, Inmóvil tendré dirección en mi vida, como tengo siempre.
De todas formas, anoté varias cosas que necesito para mirar para arriba y varias cosas que necesito hacer. ¿Soy bastante bueno? ¿Podré mejorar? Acabo de oír Profesor Randy Pausch diga que usted tiene que acariciar la regeneración y la crítica porque es cuando usted sabe usted ha hecho algo mediocre/pathetic y nadie es diciéndole que usted deba preocuparse - porque han dado para arriba. Convengo totalmente y es algo que me preocupo alrededor mucho.
El cartel y una historia de Starstruck
Mi cartel era un cartel de domingo y lo hice una pausa de 2:45 a 4:30 P.M. No sé cuánta gente vio que y yo no recuerda cuántos preguntó la gente me a preguntas, pero lo que era, deseé más. Pero pienso que hice un pedacito preocupado también con esta tarea, porque no conseguí mucho tiempo examinar los otros carteles en mi categoría. Eso es un pedacito que molesta porque ésa habría sido la sección que tenía las ocasiones más altas de entender.
Conseguí a ocasión al alcance hacia fuera alguna de la gente que nombres reconozco. Eso estaba bastante fresco, aunque puedo decir que no compara a mí encontró la primera vez un papel de CS y (sé, yo soy tan observador) era ese conocido él apenas abajo del pasillo. Recuerdo decirle esto pronto después de que y él se pareciera clase de sorprendido/de divertido en mi reacción - conjeturo que él no había estado enterado cómo es ignorante miraba cómo la ciencia trabajó realmente. Me pregunto a menudo si mi ignorancia estaba en igualdad con el segundo estudiante medio del año. De todas formas, el día del cartel era un pedacito que estimulaba también para mí - había hablado mucho, los muchos satisfechos de gente y los muchos aprendidos de cosas que nunca me imaginaba el saber. Terminé tan para arriba en cama por 9 P.M. - contando siéntese sube (100, 101…) y retrocesos, pensando del día, sintiéndose ansioso y excitado y realizando que yo no había comido desde 6:30 P.M. la noche antes. No que faltaba mucho en términos de gran gusto.
Todo lo que tengo que decir es, diario realizo que estoy cambiando. De maneras puedo predecir apenas.
Alimento y cenas
El alimento en los E.E.U.U. es notorio grande en porciones y arriba en grasa. Sí, sí. Toda gusto de I es grasa. El Oh apesadumbrado, también azucara sí y sala. ¿Mencioné la grasa? Oh, pozo usted puede probarlo por el olor aunque usted intento para evitar de comerlo. El apuro con la grasa es que hace que usted desea más grasa y honesto, un buen yogur realmente no compara a una hamburguesa jugosa. Pero no es como voy dejo algunos días en los E.E.U.U. arruino mi nueva uno mismo-cuerpo-imagen y - estima. El autodominio es llave.
¡Las cenas en los E.E.U.U. eran grandes! Gocé de todas las conversaciones y risas… especialmente elogiosa de la compañía. Es justo que no lo hace la gente tenga para ser agradable yo (o a cualquier persona), pase el tiempo con mí, me ayudan… ¿pero, usted sabe? I'm very grateful for that and very aware of what it takes to get along with me. At the same time (and sort of unrelated to this trip, but nonetheless it's brought up now), I realise that some people associate with me for their own benefits. I am still unsure how to deal with this, as I am still going through the motions of being hurt and embarrassed. I don't even know that I need to be more protective, as that type of change would be an insult to my own integrity. Do you think? I am unsure. I had a few good conversations with MC and CS (separately) and I often wonder what they think. Maybe the day I figure this out will be the day I know I'm ready to graduate. Or something.
I went to the Graduate Breakfast, which was ok but I thought it was not very well organised. Met some nice people, though not as many as I had expected. Some people were more friendly than others.
III. Coming Down
Aquarium of the Pacific
So the aquarium is NOT the gigantic structure with sea-life painted all over it. No, it is the other building, three blocks away, that has no animals printed on it whatsoever. Brilliant. Anyway, I really like museums, galleries and collections of that nature, so I was quite enthusiastic about this visit and especially with MC there, who would know lots of izzle to complement the sights. Anyway, the aquarium was very pretty I admit, but lacking in information associated with the displays. That is also ok I guess, since I can look up information later.
BOX 2: I'm Creature, I'm Earth, My Mother, My Birth
What really got to me was learning about the distress of the animals, the damage that is brought down upon their habitats and how little anyone cares. Here are beautiful creatures and plants - silent against a backdrop of screaming children running around teachers who seem nonchalant about enriching their students' minds, let alone bringing forth a sense of social and environmental responsibility. There is a curiosity in living things, in our surroundings and how it all works that is crushed by peer pressure.
Ashamedly, I do recall that I used to be very passionate about my dolphins, whales and environment (I was never into horses, excuse me =P). But somehow that got lost. Maybe it was because I made that speech about the environment that was 2 minutes too long and everyone rolled their eyes at me. Maybe it was because I moved onto college and school-work took over my life. Maybe I just cared less. I don't know. I still have my posters, drawings and books. Hm. Sometimes I feel so apathetic. Am I? Have I become what I promised myself not to become? Anyway, I need a few days to downsize a few videos I took. They will be posted soon.
Shoreline Village There was a free afternoon on Wednesday that I spent walking along the waterfront. I like doing that and it feels familiar to me, like the waterfront in Wellington or Auckland. I walked as far as the beach and turned into the city. Again, a stranger nodded hello and walked on by. I am not sure why I am seeing a more friendly side of Long Beach than people have been telling me. That's my shadow in the photo there. I also managed to see Shoreline Village at night later on and that was really cool. I love roaming around, seeing and trying new things, talking to locals, breathing the air... And at night, it's a totally different experience.
The Way Back
I guess I was sorta sad and very tired on the flight back. I guess it ended too soon, but I feel motivated, inspired and very much grateful and humbled over where I am and what I have.
IV. Summary
I'm back on Earth, but maybe I have changed again. I have a warm feeling in my stomach that rises up suddenly like bubbles and I can't help but smile. Sometimes it's released as a giggle or even a laugh, but who cares what other people think? I am grateful for the people I have around me and the opportunities I have. There is still uncertainty over what I can do, what will become of me, but I have a much stronger sense of who I am now. I feel so ready to step up and I think I have made that mental move. A little more focussed, a little more alive.
Oh, I've started reading " The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold. :) I have recently read " The Chinese Room" by Vivian Connell, which I thought was pretty good. I don't know if I mentioned, but I also read " As You Thinketh" by James Allen and " Concepts of the Self" by Anthony Elliot. The latter was pretty good. The former, not so good. I've also read this paper produced by HP regarding the use of Facebook. Ok to dull paper. Been thinking about ICTs in the workplace and society. Have downloaded some papers on science and education, research-related stuff. I want to hit the ground running. But I have to remember why I am here. I need to learn to drive!!!
Long Beach, California
Automatically translated into Italian thanks to WorldLingo
Crap-doozles, ho avuto appena uno squiz rapido sopra i miei 2008 postings e ragazzi averlo stati densi. Spiacenti, i compagni - devono essere una punta ugualmente assorbita nella mente. PERCHÈ NON LO AVETE AVVERTITO!!!! =P comunque, sulla libbra del CA, il B-phys per gli scienziati… Dovrei essere un rapper. Sto trovandolo duro filtrare al momento, in modo da farò appena un punto culminante di prova e del mente-deposito le parti più interessanti. In ogni modo, per coloro che non sa o non può ricordarsi di - Società biofisica ha una riunione annuale per i biophysicists intorno al mondo per comunicare la loro ricerca. Questo anno, ero abbastanza fortunato essere patrocinato dal mio gruppo del laboratorio (fuzzies caldi) per andare presente la ricerca che ho fatto l'anno scorso. Sì, “la ricerca che„ ancora lo spezza in su. I. Anticipazione
L'attesa e fa ritardare
Arrivando enorme presto ai mezzi dell'aeroporto di Wlg che spendono un numero enorme di ore in un posto con niente fare. Fortunatamente, ero in un umore estremamente gradevole, così io non ho pensato niente esso. Non mi occupo di faccio ritardare, neanche, finchè non interferiscono con il mio programma. Posso intrattenermi appena fine, grazie.
Che cosa [[did]] tocchi alcuni nervi era “siamo in ritardo per la partenza dovuto l'arrivo in ritardo dell'aereo.„ Che cosa quella dichiarazione persino realizza tranne la prova per incolpare di qualcun'altro? Bizzarro.
La camminata Jeremy Clarkson non parla altamente della camminata fra gli aeroporti nazionali ed internazionali de Auckland. La sua descrizione mi farebbe pensare che qualcuno stesse forzandolo fare funzionare una maratona con il suo bagaglio… in salita… e su un piedino. Era realmente molto corto, molto facile e molto dolce. Povero Clarkson. tranquillo leggo i suoi libri comunque, coz che è divertente maledetto. Per gate 10 e una storia Paranoid piccola
A mala pena in grado di contenere l'eccitamento che bolle appena sotto la mia pelle, ho fatto un beeline per il cancello 10 (AKL --> LASSISMO), dove MC era già. Inizialmente non potrei trovarlo, di modo che intrattenuto l'idea quello l'intera cosa della congresso-manifesto-carta è una cospirazione per portarlo giù prima che possa costruire su una reputazione e/o su una carriera. Simile al mio piano d'azione del lavoro ora, a dove darmi la responsabilità ed il potenziale enormi di dirigere il cambiamento è giusto una messa a punto guardilo arrestarsi e bruciarsi. Nessuna materia, perché io ottengono scosse da una caduta potenziale enorme ed io realmente non pensa che questa gente stia odiando su me. =P è giusto me chedubito - perchè me? Perchè lo desidererebbero? Era freddo vedere MC, anche se ero abbastanza informato che dovrei fare attenzione molto circa come infastidendomi sono!!! Il TK sempre sta ricordandomi gentilmente di come infastidendomi provengo da HK a AKL. Grazie. Non penso personalmente che sia quello infastidirmi, ma hey rispetto le opinioni altre e della I non desideri infastidire MC.
Imbarco e volare Bordo! Bordo! Bordo! Così eccitato. MC ha suggerito Le avventure della regina del Priscilla del deserto. Costumi e colonna sonora abbastanza divertenti e freddi. Realmente, era molto più divertente dell'ho previsto. Heh. Citazioni di qualche merce da là, methinks. Inoltre ho guardato Il randello del libro del Jane Austin, che era un flick chicky in modo da avete bisogno di un po'di pazienza. Alcune punte cutesy e divertenti comunque. Sul senso indietro, ho guardato Ragazzo magico, che era crap grazioso ma ho goduto le cose cutesy HK-condite. Capisco quelle cose sociali più di tutta la cosa che sociale riunisco in NZ. Anche se ho speso un più grande spartisca della mia vita qui. Inoltre ho guardato la maggior parte di Trasformatori. Dovrò guardare la conclusione un certo tempo, poiché sono caduto addormentato. Ma completamente non era che cosa ho previsto. La pellicola intera è silly-umore giusto, di che non mi occupo salvo che ha ballato pericoloso-chiude l'stupido-umore, come il tipo che trovate in film teen o quando un certo tipo ubriaco orina in una bottiglia ed in quello è supposto per essere divertente. Acceler-ho ascoltato alcuni album, ma ancora realmente sto ritenendo Alicia Keys' Come sono. Nota all'auto, devo ottenere alcuni trasduttori auricolari dell'in-orecchio.
Arrivo
AAAAARRRRRRRRRGHH!!! DISTORSIONE DI VELOCITÀ - in L.A.!!! LOS ANGELES. Dolce! Tutto l'eccitamento sopra che cosa si trova giusto oltre la miscelazione conosciuta con le memorie dal prima volta. Così eccitandosi per essere battuto un po'fuori dell'asse - non completamente sicuro come le cose funzionano, dove le cose sono…
Poichè abbiamo aspettato la spola per venire, sono stato stupito dal fatto che ero ancora in un altro paese. Sono stato stupito dagli automobili, dalle costruzioni, dagli alberi e dalla gente differenti… quasi un cielo differente anche se lo conosco non è… Humbled tramite lo sguardo sulle facce della gente quando date loro un sorriso genuino, come se per un momento escano dalla loro propria pelle. Inoltre marvelled alla lunghezza, tuttavia uniformità di un insieme dei eyelashes che falsi il organiser della spola ha avuto sopra. Mi sono domandato se preened per lavoro o se era riunione qualcuno.
Penso che abbia dormito con la maggior parte del giro a Long Beach. Ma mentre siamo arrivato, ho riconosciuto le vie e le costruzioni che semi-avevo esplorato usando Programmi di Google. Gradisco avere l'acqua vicino perché mi dà un punto di riferimento e ritengo più aspettare per esplorare. È una buona sensibilità. Abbiamo controllato nell'hotel ed era buono avere alcune ore giuste ricaricare. Ho disimballato nei cassetti roomy e nell'armadietto, allora scoperti un acquazzone con due inond-teste e una tenda doppio-allineata, condizionatore dei capelli che realmente funziona e tovaglioli spessi e semidolci e per di più, una morbidezza tuttavia base costante con i cuscini infiniti, duvet della semi-luce tuttavia spesso e fogli croccanti. Solamente divinamente. Anche se ancora realmente non confronta alla mia propria base. =P
II. Là
La prima volta
We registered/picked up stuff and went to talks in the Sottogruppo di biofisica della membrana (modificatori Gating e modulatori della Manica). Ottenendo nuovamente dentro la lingua della scienza era molto più facile di la I pensata e già io stava prendendo la comodità nel fatto che potrei comunicare con MC senza in primo luogo dovere ora pensare, “, come una persona di affari interpreterebbe questa?„ Inoltre, quando ci siamo incontrati con il CS al Miscelatore di apertura, era buono da potere da comunicare poichè ho comunicato per un anno. Ancora proprio sono scosso a perchè questo è così. Inoltre mi domando quanto CE lo ha cambiato e quanto più esso. Ancora sto imparando comunicare due decadi dopo la mia prima parola. Sega MC e CS comunico con i vari colleghe e la gente che si introducono con colloquio dei collegamenti e dei collaborations potenziali. Era emozionante e divertente… Indovino potreste dire che in quella fase neppure non avevo realizzato che sono stato soprafato - ma ero e sono felice io ho avuto quei due là. Periodi successivi e domani
Poichè ho assistito a più sessioni ed ho guardato più manifesti, ho cominciato a verniciare un'immagine della che biofisica era tutto il circa. Ho provato ad agganciare in altri la ricerca per l'oggetto in se, ma anche per le idee che possono essere tradotte “il miei propri„ (avendo “miei propri„ la ricerca ancora ritiene bizzarra a me). Di più sono stato attratto alla metodologia ed alla motivazione in contrasto con le conclusioni reali. Mi sono domandato se questo ha riflesso l'ambiguità e spesso il meaninglessness delle conclusioni o se ha rivelato qualcosa circa il mio interesse nella conoscenza e nella scienza. gradisco la scienza o io gradiscono la conoscenza? Penso che gradisca la scienza - conoscenza della costruzione e che cosa può essere usato per. Comunque, ho visto alcuni progetti che lo hanno incitato a pensare al mio progetto futuro nei nuovi sensi. Inoltre lo hanno incitato a pensare circa la risoluzione di problemi in un senso un po'differente.
Ero molto informato che lo ho trovato difficile capire il lavoro molto della gente. Di nuovo, non ho saputo se era perché hanno succhiato o ho succhiato. Probabilmente un po'di entrambi, poiché non sono quello al corrente della largo-gamma di tecniche e metodi a risoluzione di problemi. Significo, io indovino che ecco perché sono qui. Ma devo ammettere che sono poco deludente che gli scienziati livellati internazionali non sono migliori o più attenti verso comunicazione della loro ricerca. Di nuovo, la gente che non mette questo sforzo dentro non può semplicemente avere la destra protestare è compresa male nelle loro istituzioni, e tanto meno il grande pubblico. Non sto dicendo che non prende due al tango comunque. Eppure, anche se la gente non è interessata nella comunicazione nell'interesse della comunicazione (non posso realmente capire che), quindi deve ancora essere interessato nel costituire un fondo per. E costituire un fondo per dipende così da pressione pubblica, così come valore della società su intellect e su formazione.
SCATOLA 1: Scienza, il Hero di Unsung
Trovo la continuazione più disinterest nella scienza e pensiero specialmente allarmando negli Stati Uniti. Mi dico a che molta gente negli Stati Uniti non capisca il concetto della scienza, e tanto meno per fidarsela o persino conoscere che cosa ha fondato. Il dibattito con sviluppo ed il disegno intelligente è preoccupazione crescente enorme e d'alimentazione circa la qualità di formazione che i loro bambini stanno ottenendo. Ciò è in cima al fatto che gli Stati Uniti sono tagliati in 15.000 diversi distretti della scuola.
In una conversazione con qualcuno che altamente rispettassi, la frustrazione era evidente quando descrivono l'avversione apparente della società da qualche cosa duro. Indovino che è circa l'individuazione del senso agganciare gli allievi abbastanza lunghi in modo che possano ottenere più vicino al successo. Una volta che ritenete che cosa significa realizzare qualcosa, o ottiene con qualche cosa di duro, non guardate indietro mai. Gli psicologi dicono che la mancanza di motivazione può essere dovuto mancanza di self-esteem. O è quella gente non sta capendo l'integrità? Andare tutto il senso con una serie di pensieri nella vita è importante altrettanto quanto seguendo attraverso in un gioco del netball.
Sto andando dovere continuare con questa scatola in altro alberino, con un brainstorm delle cose che I/you può fare per aiutare il caso del no. di scienza…, pensare.
Ci era alcuni colloqui che lo hanno ottenuto realmente eccitato circa essere una parte della scienza e fare parte di un gruppo che è così complementare ai miei valori. Molto le mie abilità sono semi giusti se qualche cosa affatto ed io sono giusti in modo da eccitati per vedere che cosa posso fare di loro. Imparare ed insegnare, pensare e ripartirsi, sapere e ritenere, esaminare ed osservare - tutti sembrano descriversi così come la scienza. Indovino le mie prove del lavoro ora se posso ritenere questa affinità per il qualcos'altro. È che cosa ritengo con il gruppo del laboratorio allineare? Realmente, per un momento I ha pensato forse che questo gruppo fosse unico e quando vado per un altro, io non si preoccuperebbe per “la scienza„ tanto. Non so, ma sono abbastanza sicuro che se quello accade, Tranquillo avrò senso nella mia vita, come ho sempre.
In ogni modo, ho annotato parecchie cose di che ho bisogno per osservare in su e parecchie cose che devo fare. Sono abbastanza buono? Potrò migliorare? Mi sono sentito appena Il professor Randy Pausch dica che dovete essere le risposte e la valutazione perché è quando sapete voi ha fatto qualche cosa di mediocre/pathetic e nessuno è dicendogli che dovrte preoccuparti - perché hanno dato in su. Completamente accosento ed è qualcosa che mi preoccupi circa mólto.
Il manifesto e una storia di Starstruck
Il mio manifesto era un manifesto di domenica e lo ho fatto una pausa da 2:45 a 4:30 PM. Non conosco quanta gente ha visto che ed io non si ricorda di quant0 la gente ha chiesto me a domande, ma qualunque era, ho desiderato più. Ma penso che mi sia trasformato in in una punta ugualmente preoccupata con questa operazione, perché non ho ottenuto molto tempo esaminare gli altri manifesti nella mia categoria. Quella è una punta che si infastidisce perché quella sarebbe stata la sezione che ho avuto le più alte probabilità di capire.
Ho ottenuto ad una probabilità a portata fuori alcuna della gente di cui i nomi riconosco. Quello era abbastanza freddo, benchè potessi dire che non confronta la prima volta all'io ha trovato un documento scritto di CS e (so, io sono così observant) il quel celebre lui era appena giù il corridoio. Mi ricordo di dirgli questo presto dopo che ed abbia sembrato specie del sorprendo di/del divertente di alla mia reazione - indovino che non era stato informato quanto ignaro stavo considerando come la scienza realmente ha funzionato. Mi domando spesso se la mia ignoranza era sul par con il secondo studente non laureato medio di anno. In ogni modo, il giorno del manifesto era una punta ugualmente che stimola per me - avevo comunicato mólto, gente molto venuta a contatto di e cose che molto imparate non ho immaginato mai conoscere. Così mi sono concluso in su in base da 9 PM - contando sieda aumenta (100, 101…) e scosse, pensando al giorno, ritenendo ansioso ed eccitato e rendendosi conto che non mangi prima da 6:30 PM la notte. Non che stavo mancando molto in termini di gusto grande.
Tutto che debba dire è, giornaliere realizzo che sto cambiando. Nei sensi posso appena predire.
Alimento e pranzi
L'alimento negli Stati Uniti è notoriamente grande nelle parti e su in grasso. Sì, sì. Tutto gusto di I è grasso. L'OH spiacente, sì, inoltre zucchera e sala. Ho accennato il grasso? L'OH, pozzo potete assagiarli dall'odore anche se provate ad evitare di mangiarlo. La difficoltà con grasso è che li incita a desiderare più grasso ed onestamente, un buon yogurt realmente non confronta ad un hamburger sugoso. Ma non è come sto andando lascio alcuni giorni negli Stati Uniti rovino la mia nuova auto-corpo-immagine e - la stima. Il Self-control è chiave.
I pranzi negli Stati Uniti erano grandi! Ho goduto tutte le conversazioni e risate… particolarmente elogiativo dell'azienda. È giusto che la gente non abbia per essere piacevole a me (o a chiunque), spendami il tempo con, lo aiutano… ma, sapete? I'm very grateful for that and very aware of what it takes to get along with me. At the same time (and sort of unrelated to this trip, but nonetheless it's brought up now), I realise that some people associate with me for their own benefits. I am still unsure how to deal with this, as I am still going through the motions of being hurt and embarrassed. I don't even know that I need to be more protective, as that type of change would be an insult to my own integrity. Do you think? I am unsure. I had a few good conversations with MC and CS (separately) and I often wonder what they think. Maybe the day I figure this out will be the day I know I'm ready to graduate. Or something.
I went to the Graduate Breakfast, which was ok but I thought it was not very well organised. Met some nice people, though not as many as I had expected. Some people were more friendly than others.
III. Coming Down
Aquarium of the Pacific
So the aquarium is NOT the gigantic structure with sea-life painted all over it. No, it is the other building, three blocks away, that has no animals printed on it whatsoever. Brilliant. Anyway, I really like museums, galleries and collections of that nature, so I was quite enthusiastic about this visit and especially with MC there, who would know lots of izzle to complement the sights. Anyway, the aquarium was very pretty I admit, but lacking in information associated with the displays. That is also ok I guess, since I can look up information later.
BOX 2: I'm Creature, I'm Earth, My Mother, My Birth
What really got to me was learning about the distress of the animals, the damage that is brought down upon their habitats and how little anyone cares. Here are beautiful creatures and plants - silent against a backdrop of screaming children running around teachers who seem nonchalant about enriching their students' minds, let alone bringing forth a sense of social and environmental responsibility. There is a curiosity in living things, in our surroundings and how it all works that is crushed by peer pressure.
Ashamedly, I do recall that I used to be very passionate about my dolphins, whales and environment (I was never into horses, excuse me =P). But somehow that got lost. Maybe it was because I made that speech about the environment that was 2 minutes too long and everyone rolled their eyes at me. Maybe it was because I moved onto college and school-work took over my life. Maybe I just cared less. I don't know. I still have my posters, drawings and books. Hm. Sometimes I feel so apathetic. Am I? Have I become what I promised myself not to become? Anyway, I need a few days to downsize a few videos I took. They will be posted soon.
Shoreline Village There was a free afternoon on Wednesday that I spent walking along the waterfront. I like doing that and it feels familiar to me, like the waterfront in Wellington or Auckland. I walked as far as the beach and turned into the city. Again, a stranger nodded hello and walked on by. I am not sure why I am seeing a more friendly side of Long Beach than people have been telling me. That's my shadow in the photo there. I also managed to see Shoreline Village at night later on and that was really cool. I love roaming around, seeing and trying new things, talking to locals, breathing the air... And at night, it's a totally different experience.
The Way Back
I guess I was sorta sad and very tired on the flight back. I guess it ended too soon, but I feel motivated, inspired and very much grateful and humbled over where I am and what I have.
IV. Summary
I'm back on Earth, but maybe I have changed again. I have a warm feeling in my stomach that rises up suddenly like bubbles and I can't help but smile. Sometimes it's released as a giggle or even a laugh, but who cares what other people think? I am grateful for the people I have around me and the opportunities I have. There is still uncertainty over what I can do, what will become of me, but I have a much stronger sense of who I am now. I feel so ready to step up and I think I have made that mental move. A little more focussed, a little more alive.
Oh, I've started reading " The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold. :) I have recently read " The Chinese Room" by Vivian Connell, which I thought was pretty good. I don't know if I mentioned, but I also read " As You Thinketh" by James Allen and " Concepts of the Self" by Anthony Elliot. The latter was pretty good. The former, not so good. I've also read this paper produced by HP regarding the use of Facebook. Ok to dull paper. Been thinking about ICTs in the workplace and society. Have downloaded some papers on science and education, research-related stuff. I want to hit the ground running. But I have to remember why I am here. I need to learn to drive!!!
Long Beach, Kalifornien
Automatically translated into German thanks to WorldLingo
ScheißenSie, hatte ich gerade ein schnelles squiz über meinen 2008 postings und Jungen, sie zu haben gewesen dicht. Traurig, müssen Gehilfen - eine Spitze gewesen sein, die auch im Verstand aufgesogen wird. WARUM NICHT SIE MICH!!! WARNTEN! =P irgendwie, auf das lbs des Ca, das B-phys für die Wissenschaftler… Ich sollte ein rapper sein. Ich finde es hart, im Augenblick zu filtern, also tue ich gerade einen Verstanddump und Versuchhöhepunkt die interessanteren Teile. Sowieso für die, die nicht sich erinnern wissen nicht oder können - Biophysikalische Gesellschaft hat eine jährliche Sitzung für biophysicists um die Welt, zum ihrer Forschung mitzuteilen. Dieses Jahr, war ich genug glücklich, durch meine Laborgruppe (warme fuzzies) gefördert zu werden um zu gehen Geschenk die Forschung, die ich letztes Jahr tat. Ja „Forschung, die ich“ knackt mich noch, oben. I. Vorwegnehmen
Die Aufwartung und verzögert
Zu den Wlg Flughafenmitteln, die eine ungeheuere Anzahl von Stunden in einem Platz mit nichts ungeheuer früh kommen zu tun aufwenden. Glücklicherweise war ich in einer extrem annehmbaren Stimmung, so ich dachte nichts an es. Ich kümmere mich nicht verzögere auch nicht solange sie nicht meinen Zeitplan behinderen. Ich kann mich unterhalten gerade fein, danke.
Was [[did]] berühren Sie einige Nerven war „wir sind spät für die Abfahrt wegen der Ankunftsverspätung der Fläche.“ Was erzielt diese Aussage sogar außer Versuch, um jemand anderes zu tadeln? Sonderbar.
Der Weg Jeremy Clarkson spricht in hohem Grade nicht vom Weg zwischen Auckland den inländischen und internationalen Flughäfen. Seine Beschreibung würde mich denken lassen, daß jemand ihn zwang, ein Marathon mit seinem Gepäck laufen zu lassen… aufwärts… und auf einem Bein. Es war wirklich sehr kurz sehr mild, sehr einfach und. Armer Clarkson. Ich werde ruhig lese seine Bücher zwar, coz, das er verfluchtes lustiges ist. 10 und eine kleine paranoide Geschichte mit einem Gatter versehen
Kaum fähig, die Aufregung zu enthalten, die gerade unter meiner Haut sprudelt, bildete ich ein beeline für Gatter 10 (AKL --> LOCKER), wo Lux bereits war. Anfangs könnte ich nicht ihn finden, damit die Idee unterhalten das die gesamte Konferenz-Plakatpapier Sache ist eine Verschwörung mich senken, bevor ich auf einem Renommee und/oder einer Karriere errichten kann. Zu ähnlich meinem Arbeit Drehbuch im Augenblick, wo mir sehr große Verantwortlichkeit und Potential zu geben, änderung zu verweisen eine Einstellung gerecht ist passen Sie mich zusammenzustoßen auf und zu brennen. Keine Angelegenheit, weil ich erhalten, Stöße von einem sehr großen möglichen Fall und ich nicht wirklich denken, daß diese Leute auf mir hassen. =P ist es ich Selbst-zweifelnd gerecht - warum ich? Warum würden sie mich wünschen? Es war kühl, Lux zu sehen, obgleich ich ziemlich beachtete, daß ich würde achtgeben müssen sehr über, wie störend ich!! bin! TK immer erinnert mich freundlich an, wie störend ich von HK zu AKL bin. Danke. Ich nicht persönlich denke, daß ich bin das Stören, aber he respektiere ich die Meinungen von anderen und von I nicht möchten Lux stören.
Verschalen und Fliegen Brett! Brett! Brett! So aufgeregt. Lux empfahl sich Die Abenteuer der Priscilla Königin der Wüste. Ziemlich lustige, kühle Kostüme und Ton. Wirklich war es viel lustiger als erwartete ich. Heh. Anführungsstriche irgendeines guten von dort, methinks. Ich paßte auch auf Die Jane Austin Buch-Verein, das ein chicky leichter Schlag war, also Sie ein wenig Geduld benötigen. Einige cutesy, lustige Spitzen zwar. Auf der Weise zurück, paßte ich auf Magischer Junge, das hübscher Mist war, aber ich die HK-gewürzten cutesy Sachen genoß. Ich verstehe jene Sozialsachen mehr als jede Sozialsache, die ich in NZ erfasse. Obwohl ich ein größeres aufgewendet habe, teilen Sie von meinem Leben hier ein. Ich paßte auch die meisten von auf Transformatoren. Ich muß das Ende einige Zeit aufpassen, da ich schlafend fiel. Aber es war total nicht, was ich erwartete. Der vollständige Film ist um gerechte Dummstimmung, die ich mich nicht kümmere, außer daß er gefährlich-schließt Dummstimmung tanzte, wie die Art, die Sie in den jugendlich Filmen oder finden wenn irgendein betrunkener Kerl in einer Flasche pinkelt und in dem, soll lustig sein. Ich beschleunigen-hörte zu einigen Alben, aber ich noch fühle wirklich Alicia Keys' Wie ich bin. Anmerkung zum Selbst, muß ich einige Inohr Kopfhörer erhalten.
Ankunft
AAAAARRRRRRRRRGHH!!! WIMMERN - in L.A.!!! LOS ANGELES. Süß! Alle Aufregung über, was gerecht über dem bekannten Mischen mit Gedächtnissen von hinaus liegt erstes Mal. So spannend weg von der Welle etwas geklopft werden - nicht vollständig sicher, wie Sachen arbeiten, wo Sachen sind…
Da wir warteten, daß der Doppelventilkegel kommt, wurde ich durch die Tatsache überrascht, die ich in einem anderen Land wieder war. Ich wurde überrascht von den unterschiedlichen Autos, von den Gebäuden, von den Bäumen und von den Leuten… fast ist ein anderer Himmel, obwohl ich ihn kenne, nicht… Ich humbled durch den Blick auf Gesichtern der Leute, wenn Sie ihnen ein echtes Lächeln geben, als ob während eines Momentes sie aus ihre eigene Haut herausgekommen haben. Ich marvelled auch an der Länge, dennoch Gleichförmigkeit eines Satzes falscher Eyelashes, die der Doppelventilkegelorganisator an hatte. Ich wunderte mich, ob sie sich für Arbeit geputzt hatte, oder ob sie Sitzung jemand war.
Ich denke, daß ich durch die meisten der Fahrt zu Long Beach schlief. Aber, während wir ankamen, erkannte ich die Straßen und die Gebäude, denen ich das Verwenden halb-erforscht hatte Google Diagramme. Ich mag das Wasser haben nahe gelegen, weil es mir einen Bezugspunkt gibt und ich bereiter fühle zu erforschen. Es ist ein gutes Gefühl. Wir überprüften in das Hotel und es war gut, einige Stunden gerecht zu haben neuzuladen. Ich packte in roomy Fächer und in den Schrank aus, dann entdeckt einer Dusche mit zwei Duschenköpfe und ein doppelt-gezeichneter Vorhang, Haarconditioner, der wirklich und starke, halbweiche Tücher und am wichtigsten arbeitet, ein Weiche dennoch festes Bett mit endlosen Kissen, starker dennoch Halblicht Duvet und klare Blätter. So wunderbar. Obgleich es noch nicht wirklich mit meinem eigenen Bett vergleicht. =P
II. Dort
Das erste mal
Wir registrierten,/aufgehobene Material und gingen zu den Gesprächen in Membrane Biophysik-Untergruppe (Führung mit einem Gatter versehende Modifizierfaktoren und Modulatoren). Das Erhalten zurück in die Sprache der Wissenschaft war viel einfacher, als gedachtes I und bereits ich Komfort in der Tatsache, die ich mit Lux verständigen könnte, ohne jetzt denken zuerst zu müssen, „nahm, wie würde eine Geschäft Person deuten dieses?“ Ebenso als wir CS an zusammentrafen Öffnung Mischer, war es spricht gut, wie ich für ein Jahr gesprochen habe. Ich werde noch durchaus entsetzt an, warum dieses so ist. Ich wundere auch, mich wieviel CER mich geändert hat und wieviel mehr es werden. Ich erlerne noch, zwei Dekaden nach meinem ersten Wort zu sprechen. Ich Säge Lux und CS spreche mit verschiedenen Kollegen und den Leuten, die mit Gespräch der möglichen Anschlüsse und der collaborations sich einführen. Es war aufregend und unterhalten… Ich schätze, Sie sagen konnten, daß an diesem Stadium ich nicht sogar verwirklicht hatte, daß ich überwältigt wurde - aber ich war und ich bin ich hatte jene zwei dort froh. Folgende Zeiten und morgen
Da ich mehr Lernabschnitte mich sorgte und mehr Plakate betrachtete, fing ich an, eine Abbildung, welcher Biophysik zu malen ganz ungefähr war. Ich versuchte, mich in anderen Forschung für das Thema selbst, aber auch für Ideen zu engagieren, denen übersetzt werden können „meine Selbst“ („meine Selbst“ habend, fühlt Forschung noch zu mir sonderbar). Ich wurde mehr zur Methodenlehre und zum Beweggrund im Vergleich mit den tatsächlichen Zusammenfassungen angezogen. Ich wunderte mich, ob dieses die Mehrdeutigkeit und häufig das meaninglessness von Zusammenfassungen reflektierte, oder ob es etwas über mein Interesse am Wissen und an der Wissenschaft aufdeckte. ich mag Wissenschaft oder ich mögen Wissen? Es daß für ich denke, ich mag Wissenschaft - Gebäudewissen und was verwendet werden kann. Auf jeden Fall sah ich einige Projekte, die mich an mein zukünftiges Projekt in den neuen Weisen denken ließen. Sie ließen mich auch Problemlösen in einer etwas anderen Weise ungefähr denken.
Ich beachtete sehr, daß ich es schwierig, eine Menge Arbeit der Leute zu verstehen fand. Wieder wußte ich nicht, ob es war, weil sie sogen, oder ich sog. Vermutlich ein wenig beide, da ich nicht der mit der Breitstrecke der Techniken vertraut und Annäherungen zum Problemlösen bin. Ich bedeute, ich schätze, der ist, warum ich hier bin. Aber ich muß zulassen, daß ich wenig enttäuscht bin, daß internationale waagerecht ausgerichtete Wissenschaftler nicht besser oder in Richtung zu aufmerksamer sind Kommunikation ihrer Forschung. Wieder können Leute, die nicht diese Bemühung innen setzen, nicht das Recht einfach haben, sich zu beschweren sie werden mißverstanden in ihren Anstalten, geschweige denn die öffentlichkeit. Ich sage nicht, daß es zwei nicht zum tango zwar nimmt. Noch selbst wenn Leute nicht an der Kommunikation für Grund der Kommunikation (ich kann nicht wirklich verstehen daß), interessiert sind, dann sie muß interessiert noch sein, an zu finanzieren. Und die Finanzierung ist vom allgemeinen Druck, sowie Wert der Gesellschaft auf Intellekt und Ausbildung so abhängig.
KASTEN 1: Wissenschaft, der Unsung Held
Ich finde das fortfahrende Desinteresse in der Wissenschaft und Gedanke besonders, alarmierend in den US. Ich werde erklärt, daß viele Leute in den US nicht das Konzept der Wissenschaft, geschweige denn ihm zu vertrauen verstehen oder sogar zu wissen, was es gegründet hat. Die Debatte mit Entwicklung und intelligentem Design ist sehr großes, einziehendes wachsendes Interesse über die Qualität der Ausbildung, die ihre Kinder erhalten. Dieses ist auf die Tatsache, daß die US in 15.000 einzelne Schulebezirke aufgespaltet werden.
In einem Gespräch mit jemand, das ich in hohem Grade, die Frustration respektiere, war offensichtlich, als, offensichtlichen Widerwillen der Gesellschaft von allem stark beschreibend. Ich schätze, daß es über das Finden einer Weise, sich die Kursteilnehmer zu engagieren ist, die long enough sind, damit sie in der Lage sind, näeher an Ausführung zu erhalten. Sobald Sie glauben, was es bedeutet, etwas zu erzielen, oder durch hartes etwas erhält, schauen Sie nie zurück. Psychologen sagen, daß Mangel an Beweggrund am Mangel an Self-esteem liegen kann. Oder ist es diese Leute versteht nicht Vollständigkeit? Das Gehen vollständig mit einer Zeichenkette von Gedanken im Leben ist gerechtes so wichtiges wie, durch folgend in ein netball Spiel.
Ich werde mit diesem Kasten in einem anderen Pfosten, mit einem Geistesblitz der Sachen weitermachen müssen, die I/you tun kann, um dem Fall Wissenschaft… vom Nr. zu helfen, Denken.
Es gab einige Gespräche, die mich wirklich aufgeregt über Sein ein Teil Wissenschaft erhielten und Sein ein Teil einer Gruppe, die zu meinen Werten so ergänzend ist. Eine Menge meine Fähigkeiten sind gerechte Samen, wenn alle an allen und ich gerecht also aufgeregt sind, um zu sehen, was ich von ihnen bilden kann. Das Lernen und Unterrichten, Denken und Teilen, Wissen und Glauben, Prüfung und Beobachten - alle scheinen, sich sowie Wissenschaft zu beschreiben. Ich schätze meine Arbeit im Augenblick Tests, ob ich dieser Affinität für noch etwas glauben kann. Ist, was ich mit der Laborgruppe zutreffend glaube? Wirklich während eines Momentes dachten I möglicherweise, daß diese Gruppe einzigartig war und wenn ich für andere verlasse, ich würden sich interessieren nicht für „Wissenschaft“ so viel. Ich weiß nicht, aber ich bin recht überzeugt, der, wenn das geschieht, Ich ruhig habe Richtung in mein Leben, wie ich immer habe.
Sowieso notierte ich einige Sachen, die ich benötige, um oben zu schauen und einige Sachen, die ich tun muß. Bin ich genug gut? Wird I verbessern? Ich hörte gerade Professor Randy Pausch sagen Sie, daß Sie Rückgespräch schätzen müssen und Kritik, weil es ist, wenn Sie wissen, Sie etwas getan haben, das mittelmäßig,/und niemand, pathetisch ist, ist, Ihnen erklärend, daß Sie dich sorgen sollten - weil sie oben gegeben haben. Ich stimme vollständig zu und es ist etwas, das ich ungefähr mich viel sorge.
Das Plakat und eine Starstruck Geschichte
Mein Plakat war ein Sonntag Plakat und ich stand es von 2:45 zu 4:30 P.M. bereit. Ich weiß nicht, wieviele Leute sahen, daß es und ich sich nicht erinnert, an wieviele Leute mir Fragen fragten, aber was auch immer es war, wünschte ich mehr. Aber ich denke, daß ich eine Spitze wurde, die auch mit dieser Aufgabe in Anspruch genommen wurde, weil ich nicht viel Zeit erhielt, die anderen Plakate in meiner Kategorie zu überprüfen. Die ist eine störende Spitze, weil der der Abschnitt gewesen sein würde, daß ich die höchsten Wahrscheinlichkeiten des Verstehens hatte.
Ich gelangte einer Wahrscheinlichkeit an Bereich heraus einige der Leute deren Namen ich erkenne. Das war recht kühl, obwohl ich sagen kann, daß es nicht mit das erste mal mir fand ein Papier durch CS vergleicht und notiertes (ich weiß, ich bin so beobachtend), dieses er war gerade hinunter die Halle. Ich erinnere mich, ihm dieses bald zu erklären, nachdem und er Art von überrascht/an meiner Reaktion von unterhalten schien - ich schätze, daß er nicht bewußt gewesen war, wie unwissend ich betrachtete, wie Wissenschaft wirklich arbeitete. Ich wundere häufig, mich ob meine Unwissenheit auf Gleichheit mit dem durchschnittlichen zweiten Jahrnichtgraduierten war. Sowieso war Plakattag eine Spitze, die auch für mich anregt - ich hatte viel, eine getroffene Menge Leute und eine erlernte Menge Sachen gesprochen, die ich mich nie vorstellte zu kennen. So beendete ich oben im Bett durch 9 P.M. - zählend sitzen Sie ups (100, 101…) und Stöße, denkend an den Tag, glauben besorgt und aufgeregt und stellen fest, daß ich nicht seit 6:30 P.M. die Nacht vorher gegessen hatte. Nicht daß ich viel in großem Geschmack ausgedrückt vermißte.
Alles, das ich sagen muß, ist, täglich verwirkliche ich, daß ich ändere. In den Weisen kann ich kaum voraussagen.
Nahrung und Abendessen
Nahrung in den US ist notorisch in den Teilen und stark im Fett groß. Ja ja. Alles I Geschmack ist Fett. Trauriges OH- ja auch zuckern und salzten. Erwähnte ich Fett? OH-, Brunnen können Sie es durch Geruch schmecken, selbst wenn Sie versuchen ihn, zu essen zu vermeiden. Die Mühe mit Fett ist, daß sie Sie mehr Fett wünschen läßt und ehrlich, ein guter Joghurt nicht wirklich vergleicht mit einem saftigen Burger. Aber es ist nicht wie ich lasse einige Tage in den US ruiniere mein neues Selbst--Körperbild gehe und - Achtung. Self-control ist Schlüssel.
Abendessen in den US waren groß! Ich genoß alle Gespräche und Lachen… morgens besonders anerkennend von der Firma. Es ist gerecht, daß Leute nicht haben Sie um zu mir (oder zu jedermann) nett zu sein, verbringen Sie Zeit mit mir, helfen mir… und doch sie, wissen Sie? I'm very grateful for that and very aware of what it takes to get along with me. At the same time (and sort of unrelated to this trip, but nonetheless it's brought up now), I realise that some people associate with me for their own benefits. I am still unsure how to deal with this, as I am still going through the motions of being hurt and embarrassed. I don't even know that I need to be more protective, as that type of change would be an insult to my own integrity. Do you think? I am unsure. I had a few good conversations with MC and CS (separately) and I often wonder what they think. Maybe the day I figure this out will be the day I know I'm ready to graduate. Or something.
I went to the Graduate Breakfast, which was ok but I thought it was not very well organised. Met some nice people, though not as many as I had expected. Some people were more friendly than others.
III. Coming Down
Aquarium of the Pacific
So the aquarium is NOT the gigantic structure with sea-life painted all over it. No, it is the other building, three blocks away, that has no animals printed on it whatsoever. Brilliant. Anyway, I really like museums, galleries and collections of that nature, so I was quite enthusiastic about this visit and especially with MC there, who would know lots of izzle to complement the sights. Anyway, the aquarium was very pretty I admit, but lacking in information associated with the displays. That is also ok I guess, since I can look up information later.
BOX 2: I'm Creature, I'm Earth, My Mother, My Birth
What really got to me was learning about the distress of the animals, the damage that is brought down upon their habitats and how little anyone cares. Here are beautiful creatures and plants - silent against a backdrop of screaming children running around teachers who seem nonchalant about enriching their students' minds, let alone bringing forth a sense of social and environmental responsibility. There is a curiosity in living things, in our surroundings and how it all works that is crushed by peer pressure.
Ashamedly, I do recall that I used to be very passionate about my dolphins, whales and environment (I was never into horses, excuse me =P). But somehow that got lost. Maybe it was because I made that speech about the environment that was 2 minutes too long and everyone rolled their eyes at me. Maybe it was because I moved onto college and school-work took over my life. Maybe I just cared less. I don't know. I still have my posters, drawings and books. Hm. Sometimes I feel so apathetic. Am I? Have I become what I promised myself not to become? Anyway, I need a few days to downsize a few videos I took. They will be posted soon.
Shoreline Village There was a free afternoon on Wednesday that I spent walking along the waterfront. I like doing that and it feels familiar to me, like the waterfront in Wellington or Auckland. I walked as far as the beach and turned into the city. Again, a stranger nodded hello and walked on by. I am not sure why I am seeing a more friendly side of Long Beach than people have been telling me. That's my shadow in the photo there. I also managed to see Shoreline Village at night later on and that was really cool. I love roaming around, seeing and trying new things, talking to locals, breathing the air... And at night, it's a totally different experience.
The Way Back
I guess I was sorta sad and very tired on the flight back. I guess it ended too soon, but I feel motivated, inspired and very much grateful and humbled over where I am and what I have.
IV. Summary
I'm back on Earth, but maybe I have changed again. I have a warm feeling in my stomach that rises up suddenly like bubbles and I can't help but smile. Sometimes it's released as a giggle or even a laugh, but who cares what other people think? I am grateful for the people I have around me and the opportunities I have. There is still uncertainty over what I can do, what will become of me, but I have a much stronger sense of who I am now. I feel so ready to step up and I think I have made that mental move. A little more focussed, a little more alive.
Oh, I've started reading " The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold. :) I have recently read " The Chinese Room" by Vivian Connell, which I thought was pretty good. I don't know if I mentioned, but I also read " As You Thinketh" by James Allen and " Concepts of the Self" by Anthony Elliot. The latter was pretty good. The former, not so good. I've also read this paper produced by HP regarding the use of Facebook. Ok to dull paper. Been thinking about ICTs in the workplace and society. Have downloaded some papers on science and education, research-related stuff. I want to hit the ground running. But I have to remember why I am here. I need to learn to drive!!!
Long Beach, Califórnia
Automatically translated into Portuguese thanks to WorldLingo
Crap-doozles, eu tive apenas um squiz rápido sobre meus 2008 postings e meninos tê-los sidos densos. Pesarosos, os mates - devem ter sido um bocado absorvido demasiado na mente. PORQUE VOCÊ NÃO ME ADVERTIU!!!! =P de qualquer maneira, na libra do CA, o B-phys para os cientistas… Eu devo ser um rapper. Eu estou encontrando duro filtrar neste momento, assim que eu farei apenas um destaque do mente-dump e da tentativa as peças mais interessantes. Em todo o caso, para aqueles que não sabem nem não podem recordar - Sociedade Biophysical tem uma reunião anual para biophysicists em torno do mundo para comunicar sua pesquisa. Este ano, eu era afortunado bastante ser patrocinado por meu grupo do laboratório (fuzzies mornos) para ir presente a pesquisa que eu fiz o ano passado. Sim, a “pesquisa que eu” racha-me ainda acima. I. Antecipar
Esperar e atrasa
Chegar monstrously cedo nos meios do aeroporto de Wlg que gastam um número monstrous das horas em um lugar com nada fazer. Felizmente, eu estava em um modo extremamente agreeable, assim mim não pensei de nada dele. Eu não me ocupo atraso, tampouco, contanto que não interferirem com minha programação. Eu posso entertain myself apenas fino, obrigado.
Que [[did]] toque em alguns nervos era “nós estamos atrasados para a partida devido à chegada atrasada do plano.” Que essa indicação consegue mesmo à exceção da tentativa para responsabilizar alguma outra pessoa? Estranho.
A caminhada Jeremy Clarkson não fala altamente da caminhada entre aeroportos domésticos e internacionais de Auckland. Sua descrição mandar-me-ia pensar de que alguém o forçava a funcionar um marathon com sua bagagem… uphill… e em um pé. Era realmente muito curto, muito fácil e muito bland. Clarkson pobre. Eu imóvel leio seus livros though, coz que é engraçado dum raio. Para bloquear 10 e uma história Paranoid pequena
Mal capaz de conter o excitamento que borbulha apenas sob minha pele, eu fiz um beeline para a porta 10 (AKL --> LAX), onde MC estava já. Início no eu não poderia encontrá-lo, de modo que entertained a idéia isso a coisa inteira do conferência-poster-papel é um conspiracy para trazer-me para baixo antes que eu puder construir em uma reputação e/ou em uma carreira. Similar a minha direita do scenario do trabalho agora, a onde me dar a responsabilidade e o potencial enormes dirigir a mudança é justo uma instalação preste-me atenção deixar de funcionar e queimar-se. Nenhuma matéria, porque eu começamos pontapés de uma queda potencial enorme e eu não pensa realmente que estes povos estão odiando em mim. =P é justo mim queduvida - por que mim? Por que me quereriam? Estava fresco ver MC, embora eu estivesse completamente ciente que eu teria que ter muito cuidado sobre como irritando eu sou!!! O TK sempre está lembrando-me amavelmente de como irritando eu sou de HK a AKL. Obrigado. Eu não penso pessoalmente que eu sou isso irritar, mas hey eu respeito as opiniões de outras e de I não queira irritar MC.
Boarding e voar Placa! Placa! Placa! Excitado assim. MC recomendado As aventuras da rainha de Priscilla do deserto. Trajes e soundtrack completamente engraçados, frescos. Realmente, era muito mais engraçado do que eu esperei. Heh. Citações de algum bom de lá, methinks. Eu prestei atenção também O clube do livro de Jane Austin, que era um flick chicky assim que você necessita um pouco de paciência. Alguns bocados cutesy, engraçados though. Na maneira para trás, eu prestei atenção Menino mágico, que era crap bonito mas eu apreciei as coisas cutesy HK-flavoured. Eu compreendo aquelas coisas sociais mais do que toda a coisa que social eu recolher em NZ. Mesmo que eu gaste um maior reparta de minha vida aqui. Eu prestei atenção também a a maioria de Transformadores. Eu terei que prestar atenção ao ending alguma hora, desde que eu caí adormecido. Mas não era totalmente o que eu esperei. A película inteira é o silly-humour justo, que eu não me ocupo de a não ser que aquele ele dance perigoso-feche o stupid-humour, como o tipo que você encontra em filmes teen ou quando algum guy bêbedo faz xixi em um frasco e naquele é suposto para ser engraçado. Eu apress-escutei alguns albums, mas eu ainda estou sentindo realmente Alicia Keys' Como eu sou. Nota ao self, eu tenho que começar alguns earphones da em-orelha.
Chegada
AAAAARRRRRRRRRGHH!!! WOW - em L.A.!!! LOS ANGELES. Doce! Todo o excitamento sobre o que se encontra justo além de misturar sabido com as memórias do primeira vez. Assim excitando para ser batido ligeiramente fora do eixo - não completamente certo como as coisas trabalham, onde as coisas estão…
Porque nós esperamos o shuttle para vir, eu fui espantado pelo fato que eu estava em um outro país outra vez. Eu fui espantado pelos carros, pelos edifícios, pelas árvores e pelos povos diferentes… quase um céu diferente mesmo que eu o saiba não é… Eu humbled pelo olhar nas caras do pessoa quando você lhes dá um sorriso genuíno, como se por um momento saíram de sua própria pele. Eu marvelled também no comprimento, contudo uniformidade de um jogo dos eyelashes que falsos o organiser do shuttle teve sobre. Eu quis saber se preened herself para o trabalho ou se era reunião alguém.
Eu penso que eu dormi com a maioria do passeio a Long Beach. Mas enquanto nós chegamos, eu reconheci as ruas e os edifícios que eu semi-tinha explorado se usar Mapas de Google. Eu gosto de ter a água próximo porque me dá um ponto de referência e eu sinto mais pronto para explorar. É um sentimento bom. Nós verificamos no hotel e era bom ter algumas horas justas para recarregar. Eu desembalei em gavetas roomy e no armário, descobertos então um chuveiro com dois reg-cabeças e uma cortina dobro-alinhada, condicionador do cabelo que trabalha realmente e toalhas grossas, semi-soft e o mais importante, uma cama do soft contudo da empresa com descansos infinitos, duvet grosso contudo da semi-luz e folhas crisp. Assim heavenly. Embora ainda não compare realmente a minha própria cama. =P
II. Lá
A primeira vez que
Nós registamos/materiais acima escolhidos e fomos às conversas no Subgrupo do Biophysics da membrana (modificadores bloqueando e moduladores da canaleta). Começar traseiro na língua da ciência era muito mais fácil do que I pensado e já mim fazia exame do conforto no fato que eu poderia se comunicar com o MC sem ter que primeiramente pensar agora, “, como uma pessoa do negócio interpretaria esta?” Do mesmo modo, quando nós nos encontramos o CS no Misturador da abertura, era bom fala como eu falei por um ano. Eu sou chocado ainda completamente em porque este é assim. Eu quero saber também quanto CE me mudou e quanto mais ele. Eu estou aprendendo ainda falar duas décadas após minha primeira palavra. Eu serra MC e CS falo com vários colegas e os povos que introduzem-se à conversa de conexões e de collaborations potenciais. Era emocionante e divertindo… Eu suponho você poderia dizer que nesse estágio eu não tinha realizado mesmo que eu estive oprimido - mas eu era e eu estou contente mim tive aqueles dois lá. Épocas subseqüentes e amanhã
Porque eu atendi a mais sessões e olhei mais posteres, eu comecei a pintar um retrato de que Biophysics estava toda aproximadamente. Eu tentei acoplar em outros a pesquisa para o assunto própria, mas também para as idéias que podem ser traduzidas “meus próprios” (tendo “meus próprios” a pesquisa sente ainda estranha a mim). Eu fui atraído mais à metodologia e ao motivation ao contrário das conclusões reais. Eu quis saber se este refletiu a ambigüidade e frequentemente o meaninglessness das conclusões ou se revelou algo sobre meu interesse no conhecimento e na ciência. Eu gosto da ciência ou mim gostam do conhecimento? Eu penso que eu gosto da ciência - conhecimento do edifício e o que pode ser usado para. Em todo o caso, eu vi alguns projetos que me fizeram pensar sobre meu projeto futuro em maneiras novas. Fizeram-me também pensar aproximadamente do problem-solving em uma maneira ligeiramente diferente.
Eu estava muito ciente que eu encontrei difícil de compreender muitos do trabalho do pessoa. Outra vez, eu não soube se era porque sugaram ou eu suguei. Provavelmente um pouco de ambos, desde que eu não sou que familiar com a largo-escala das técnicas e das aproximações ao problem-solving. Eu significo, mim suponho que é porque eu estou aqui. Mas eu tenho que admitir que eu sou decepcionado pouco que os cientistas nivelados internacionais não são melhores ou mais attentive para uma comunicação de sua pesquisa. Outra vez, os povos que não põem este esforço dentro não podem simplesmente ter a direita queixar-se eles são entendidos mal em suas instituições, deixaram sozinho o público geral. Eu não estou dizendo que não faz exame de dois ao tango though. Ainda, mesmo se os povos não estiverem interessados em uma comunicação para a causa de uma comunicação (eu não posso realmente compreender que), a seguir eles deve ainda estar interessado em financiar. E financiar é assim dependente da pressão pública, as well as o valor da sociedade no intellect e na instrução.
CAIXA 1: Ciência, herói de Unsung
Eu encontro continuar o mais disinterest na ciência e pensamento particularmente alarmando nos E.U. Eu sou dito que muitos povos nos E.U. não compreendem o conceito da ciência, deixo a confiança sozinha ele ou sei mesmo o que fundou. O debate com evolução e projeto inteligente é interesse crescente enorme, alimentando sobre a qualidade da instrução que suas crianças estão começando. Isto é no alto do fato que os E.U. estão rachados em 15.000 distritos individuais da escola.
Em uma conversação com alguém que eu respeito altamente, a frustração era evidente ao descrever o aversion aparente da sociedade de qualquer coisa duramente. Eu suponho que é sobre encontrar uma maneira acoplar os estudantes suficientemente longos de modo que possam começar mais perto da realização. Uma vez que você sente o que significa conseguir algo, ou começa com algo duro, você nunca olha para trás. Os psicólogos dizem que a falta do motivation pode ser devido à falta do self-esteem. Ou é esse pessoa não está compreendendo a integridade? Ir toda a maneira com uma corda dos pensamentos na vida é tão importante justo quanto seguindo completamente em um jogo do netball.
Eu estou indo ter que continuar com esta caixa em um outro borne, com um brainstorm das coisas que I/you pode fazer para ajudar ao exemplo do no. da ciência…, pensar.
Havia algumas conversas que me começaram excitado realmente sobre ser uma parte da ciência e estar uma parte de um grupo que fosse assim complementar a meus valores. Os muitos de minhas habilidades são sementes justas se qualquer coisa em tudo e eu formos justos assim que excitados para ver o que eu posso fazer dele. A aprendizagem e ensinar, pensar e compartilhar, saber e sentir, testar e observar - todos parecem se descrever myself as well as a ciência. Eu suponho meus testes da direita do trabalho agora se eu posso sentir esta afinidade para algo mais. É o que eu sinto com o grupo do laboratório verdadeiro? Realmente, por um momento I pensaram talvez que este grupo era original e quando eu sao para outro, mim não se importariam com a “ciência” tanto quanto. Eu não sei, mas eu sou consideravelmente confiável que se isso acontecer, Eu imóvel terei o sentido em minha vida, como eu tenho sempre.
Em todo o caso, eu escrevi diversas coisas para baixo que eu necessito olhar acima e diversas coisas que eu necessito fazer. Sou eu bom bastante? I melhoram? Eu ouvi-me apenas Professor Randy Pausch diga que você tem que estimar o gabarito e a crítica porque é quando você sabe você fêz algo mediocre/pathetic e no-one é dizendo lhe que você deve se preocupar - porque deram acima. Eu concordo completamente e é algo que eu me preocupo aproximadamente muito.
O poster e uma história de Starstruck
Meu poster era um poster de domingo e eu estive por ele de 2:45 a 4:30 PM. Eu não sei quantos povos viram que e mim não recorda quanto os povos perguntaram me a perguntas, mas o que quer que era, eu quis mais. Mas eu penso que eu me transformei um bocado preoccupied demasiado com esta tarefa, porque eu não comecei muito tempo examinar os outros posteres em minha categoria. Aquele é um bocado que irrita porque aquela seria a seção que eu tive as possibilidades as mais elevadas da compreensão.
Eu comecei a uma possibilidade ao espaço para fora alguns dos povos cujos nomes eu reconheço. Isso estava consideravelmente fresco, embora eu posso dizer que não me compara a primeira vez encontrou um papel por CS e (eu sei, mim sou assim observant) o esse notável ele era apenas abaixo o salão. Eu recordo dizer-lhe este logo depois que e pareceu sorte do surpreendido/do divertido em minha reação - eu suponho que não tinha estado ciente como ignorant eu considerava como a ciência trabalhou realmente. Eu quero saber frequentemente se meu ignorance estava no par com o segundo undergraduate médio do ano. Em todo o caso, o dia do poster era um bocado que estimula demasiado para mim - eu tinha falado muito, muitos encontrados com dos povos e muitos aprendidos das coisas que eu nunca imaginei saber. Assim eu terminei acima na cama por 9 PM - contando sente-se levanta (100, 101…) e pontapés, pensando sobre o dia, sentindo ansioso e excitado e realizando que eu não tinha comido desde 6:30 PM a noite antes. Não que eu faltava muito nos termos do gosto grande.
Tudo que eu tenho que dizer é, diário eu realizo que eu estou mudando. Nas maneiras eu posso mal predizer.
Alimento e jantares
O alimento nos E.U. é notoriously grande nas parcelas e altamente na gordura. Sim, sim. Tudo gosto de I é graxa. O Oh pesaroso, sim, também sugar e salga. Eu mencionei a graxa? Oh, poço você pode prová-lo pelo cheiro mesmo se você tentar evitar de o comer. O problema com graxa é que o faz querer mais graxa e honesta, um yoghurt bom não compara realmente a um hamburguer suculento. Mas não é como eu estou indo deixo alguns dias nos E.U. arruino minha self-corpo-imagem nova e - esteem. O Self-control é chave.
Os jantares nos E.U. eram grandes! Eu apreciei todas as conversações e risos… am especialmente appreciative da companhia. É justo que os povos não tenha para ser agradável a mim (ou a qualquer um), gaste o tempo com mim, ajudam-me… no entanto, você sabe? I'm very grateful for that and very aware of what it takes to get along with me. At the same time (and sort of unrelated to this trip, but nonetheless it's brought up now), I realise that some people associate with me for their own benefits. I am still unsure how to deal with this, as I am still going through the motions of being hurt and embarrassed. I don't even know that I need to be more protective, as that type of change would be an insult to my own integrity. Do you think? I am unsure. I had a few good conversations with MC and CS (separately) and I often wonder what they think. Maybe the day I figure this out will be the day I know I'm ready to graduate. Or something.
I went to the Graduate Breakfast, which was ok but I thought it was not very well organised. Met some nice people, though not as many as I had expected. Some people were more friendly than others.
III. Coming Down
Aquarium of the Pacific
So the aquarium is NOT the gigantic structure with sea-life painted all over it. No, it is the other building, three blocks away, that has no animals printed on it whatsoever. Brilliant. Anyway, I really like museums, galleries and collections of that nature, so I was quite enthusiastic about this visit and especially with MC there, who would know lots of izzle to complement the sights. Anyway, the aquarium was very pretty I admit, but lacking in information associated with the displays. That is also ok I guess, since I can look up information later.
BOX 2: I'm Creature, I'm Earth, My Mother, My Birth
What really got to me was learning about the distress of the animals, the damage that is brought down upon their habitats and how little anyone cares. Here are beautiful creatures and plants - silent against a backdrop of screaming children running around teachers who seem nonchalant about enriching their students' minds, let alone bringing forth a sense of social and environmental responsibility. There is a curiosity in living things, in our surroundings and how it all works that is crushed by peer pressure.
Ashamedly, I do recall that I used to be very passionate about my dolphins, whales and environment (I was never into horses, excuse me =P). But somehow that got lost. Maybe it was because I made that speech about the environment that was 2 minutes too long and everyone rolled their eyes at me. Maybe it was because I moved onto college and school-work took over my life. Maybe I just cared less. I don't know. I still have my posters, drawings and books. Hm. Sometimes I feel so apathetic. Am I? Have I become what I promised myself not to become? Anyway, I need a few days to downsize a few videos I took. They will be posted soon.
Shoreline Village There was a free afternoon on Wednesday that I spent walking along the waterfront. I like doing that and it feels familiar to me, like the waterfront in Wellington or Auckland. I walked as far as the beach and turned into the city. Again, a stranger nodded hello and walked on by. I am not sure why I am seeing a more friendly side of Long Beach than people have been telling me. That's my shadow in the photo there. I also managed to see Shoreline Village at night later on and that was really cool. I love roaming around, seeing and trying new things, talking to locals, breathing the air... And at night, it's a totally different experience.
The Way Back
I guess I was sorta sad and very tired on the flight back. I guess it ended too soon, but I feel motivated, inspired and very much grateful and humbled over where I am and what I have.
IV. Summary
I'm back on Earth, but maybe I have changed again. I have a warm feeling in my stomach that rises up suddenly like bubbles and I can't help but smile. Sometimes it's released as a giggle or even a laugh, but who cares what other people think? I am grateful for the people I have around me and the opportunities I have. There is still uncertainty over what I can do, what will become of me, but I have a much stronger sense of who I am now. I feel so ready to step up and I think I have made that mental move. A little more focussed, a little more alive.
Oh, I've started reading " The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold. :) I have recently read " The Chinese Room" by Vivian Connell, which I thought was pretty good. I don't know if I mentioned, but I also read " As You Thinketh" by James Allen and " Concepts of the Self" by Anthony Elliot. The latter was pretty good. The former, not so good. I've also read this paper produced by HP regarding the use of Facebook. Ok to dull paper. Been thinking about ICTs in the workplace and society. Have downloaded some papers on science and education, research-related stuff. I want to hit the ground running. But I have to remember why I am here. I need to learn to drive!!!
Long Beach Kalifornien
Automatically translated into Swedish thanks to WorldLingo
Skita-doozles, hade I precis en snabb squiz över min 2008 utnämningar och pojke att ha varaa dem täta. Ledsna måste kompisar - ha varit a bet för absorberat i vara besvärad. VARFÖR DU INTE VARNADE MIG!!!! =P på något sätt, på pundet av CAEN, Ben-phys för scienna-tists…, Jag bör vara en rappare. Förmiddag som I finner det hårt för att filtrera på ögonblicket, så jag ska gör precis endumpa och försökviktig den mer intressant begåvningen. På något sätt för de, som inte vet eller inte kan minnas - Biophysical samhälle har ett årsmöte för biophysicists runt om världen som meddelar deras forskning. Detta år var jag lycklig nog att sponsras av min labbgrupp (varma fuzzies) för att gå gåva forskningen som jag i fjol. Ja ”forskning jag” stilla sprickor mig upp. I. Förutse
Vänta och fördröjningar
Att ankomma monstrously tidig sort på Wlg flygplatshjälpmedel som spenderar ett monstrous, numrerar av timmar i en förlägga med ingenting att göra. Lyckligtvis var jag i en extremt angenäm mood, så mig tänkte ingenting av den. Jag varar besvärad inte fördröjningar, either, så länge som de inte störer med mitt schema. Jag kan underhålla jag själv rättvis bot, tacka dig.
Vad [[did]] handlag några nerver var ”är vi sena för avvikelse tack vare nivåns sena ankomst.”, Vad uppnår det meddelande även bortsett från försök att klandra någon annars? Kusligt.
Gå Jeremy Clarkson talar inte högt av gå mellan den Auckland hemhjälpen och internationell flygplats. Hans skulle beskrivning har mig funderare som någon tvingade honom för att köra en maraton med hans bagage…, stigande…, och på en lägga benen på ryggen. Det var faktiskt mycket kort, mycket lätt och mycket förbindligt. Fattiga Clarkson. Jag ska läser fortfarande his bokar though, coz som han är förbaskat roligt. Att utfärda utegångsförbud för 10 och en lite paranoid berättelse
Knappt kompetent att innehålla spänningen som precis bubblar under mitt, flå, mig gjorde en beeline för att utfärda utegångsförbud för 10 (AKL --> SLAPPT), var MC var redan. Först kunde jag inte finna honom, så att underhållit idén det de hela konferens-affisch-skyler över brister ting är en komplott för att komma med mig besegra, för jag kan bygga på ett anseende och/eller rusa. Liknande till mitt högra arbetsscenario nu, var att ge mig enormt ansvar och potentiellt att rikta ändring är rättvist en ställa in till klocka mig som är forcerat, och brännskada. Ingen materia, därför att jag får, sparkar från en enorm potentiell nedgång och mig inte egentligen funderare som dessa folk hatar på mig. =P är det rättvist mig som själv-tvivlar - why mig? Why skulle önskar de mig? Det var kyler för att se MC, även om jag var ganska medveten att jag skulle måste att vara mycket försiktig om hur förarga I-förmiddag!!! TK är alltid godhjärtad påminna mig av, hur förarga I-förmiddag från HK till AKL. Tack. Jag inte personligen förmiddagen för funderare I det förarga men hey I-respekt åsikterna av andra och I inte önska att förarga MC.
Logi och flyg Stiga ombord! Stiga ombord! Stiga ombord! Så upphetsad. MC rekommenderade Affärsföretagen av den Priscilla drottningen av öknen. Kyla dräkter och filmmusiken, ganska roligt. Faktiskt var det mycket mer rolig än förväntade jag. Heh. Någon goda citerar därifrån, methinks. Jag höll ögonen på också Den Jane Austin bokklubben, som var ett chicky knäpp, så du behöver lite patiens. Några cutesy roliga bitar though. På det långt tillbaka höll ögonen på jag Magisk pojke, som var den nätt skiten, bara jag tyckte om denkryddade cutesy saker. Jag förstår den sociala saker mer än något socialt ting som jag samlar i NZ. Portion av mitt liv här, även om jag har spenderat ett större. Jag höll ögonen på också mest av Transformatorer. Jag ska måste klockan ändelsen någon tid, sedan jag avverkar sovande. Men det var totalt inte vad jag förväntade. Helheten filmar är rättvis dumbom-blidkar, som jag inte varar besvärad undantar att den dansade farlig-slut dum-blidkar, gillar typen som du finner i teen filmer, eller när någon berusad grabb kissar i en buteljera och, det är förment att vara rolig. Jag rusa-lyssnade till känsla för stillbilden för några album, men I-förmiddagegentligen Alicia stämm' Som I-förmiddag. Notera till själven, mig måste att få något i-gå i ax hörlurar.
Ankomst
AAAAARRRRRRRRRGHH!!! DUNDERSUCCÉ - i L.A.!!! LOS ANGELES. Sött! Alla av spänning över vad ligger den rättvisa det okända den bekant blandningen med minnen från första tid. Så hänföra för att knackas litet av fullständigt säkra axeln - den inte, hur saker fungerar, var saker är…,
Som vi väntade skicka för att komma, förbluffades jag av faktumet som jag var i ett annat land igen. Jag förbluffades av de olika bilarna, byggnaderna, treesna och folket…, nästan är en olik sky, även om jag vet den, inte…, Jag kvästes av looken på folk vänder mot, när du ger dem ett äktat leende, som, om för ett ögonblick de har kommit ut ur deras eget, flå. Jag marvelled också på längden, yet likformighet av en uppsättning av falska ögonfranser som skickaorganisatörn hade på. Jag undrade huruvida henne hade putsat hon själv för arbete, eller huruvida var hon mötet någon.
Funderare I som jag sovade till och med mest av ritten till Long Beach. Men, som vi ankom, kände igen jag gatorna och byggnaderna som jag halv-hade undersökt att använda Google kartlägger. Jag gillar ha den närliggande bevattna, därför att den ger mig som en hänvisa till pekar, och I-känselförnimmelsen mer ordnar till för att undersöka. Det är en bra känsla. Vi kontrollerade in i hotellet, och det var bra att ha några timmar som var rättvisa att recharge. Jag packade upp in i rymliga enheter och skåpet som därefter upptäcktes en dusch med två duscha-huvud och enfodrad gardin, hårhårbalsamen, som fungerar faktiskt och tjocka semi-soft handdukar och huvudsakligen, en mjuk yet fast säng med ändlöst kudder, tjockt yet halv-tända duveten, och chipen täcker. Så heavenly. Bädda ned, även om det som är stilla, inte jämför egentligen till mitt eget. =P
II. Där
Den första Time
Vi registrerade/valt upp stoppar och gick till samtal i MembranBiophysicsundergrupp (kanalisera att utfärda utegångsförbud för modifikatorer och modulatorer),. Att få baksida in i språket av vetenskap var mycket lättare, än tänkt I och mig tog redan komfort i faktumet som jag kunde meddela med MC utan första måste funderare, ”nu, hur skulle en affärsperson tolka detta?”, Jämväl, när vi mötte upp med CS på Öppningsblandare, var det bra talar, som jag har talat för ett år. Stilla ganska chockat för förmiddag I på varför detta är så. Jag undrar också, hur mycket CE har ändrat mig, och hur mycket mer som den ska. Stilla uttrycker lära för förmiddag I att tala två årtionden efter mitt första. Jag sågar MC och CSsamtalet med olika kollegor och folk som introducerar sig till samtalet av potentiella anslutningar och collaborations. Det var spännande och att roa…, Jag gissar dig kunde något att säga som på det arrangerar mig inte ens hade realiserat att jag förkrossades - bara jag var, och den glada I-förmiddagen hade jag de två där. Följande tider och i morgon
Som jag deltog i mer perioder och såg mer affischer, började jag att måla en föreställa av vilken Biophysics var all omkring. Jag försökte att koppla in i andra forskning för betvinga sig själv, men också för idéer som kan översättas ”mitt eget” (ha ”min stilla känselförnimmelser för egen” forskning som är kusliga till mig). Jag tilldrogs mer till methodology och motivationen som motsatt till de faktiska avslutningarna. Jag undrade denna reflekterade huruvida otydligheten, och ofta meaninglessnessen av avslutningar eller huruvida avslöjde den något om mitt intresserar i kunskap och vetenskap. jag gillar vetenskap eller gillar jag kunskap? Funderare I gillar jag vetenskap - byggnadskunskap och vad den kan användas för. I något fall sågar jag några projekterar att gjort mig funderare om min framtid projektera i ny väg. De gjorde mig problem-solving för funderare omkring i ett litet olikt också långt.
Jag var mycket medveten att I grundar det som är svårt att förstå ett raddafolks arbete. Igen visste jag inte att huruvida det var, därför att de sög, eller jag sög. Antagligen lite att närma sig båda, sedan den förtrogen med I-förmiddagen inte som sned boll-spänna av tekniker och till problem-solving. Jag betyder, mig gissar som är varför I-förmiddagen här. Men jag måste att medge I-förmiddag ett lite besviket som jämna forskare för landskamp inte är bättre eller mer uppmärksam in mot kommunikation av deras forskning. Igen l5At folket, som inte sätter detta försök in inte kan enkelt ha rakt till klagaen som, de missförstås i deras institutioner, bara allmänheten. Ordstäv för förmiddag I inte som det inte tar två till tangoen though. Stillbilden even, om folket inte intresseras i kommunikationen för kommunikationens sake (jag inte kan egentligen förstå att), därefter dem måste stilla intresseras i finansiering. Och finansieringen är, så anhörigen på allmänhet pressar, as well as samhälle värderar på intellekt och utbildning.
BOXAS 1: Vetenskap den Unsung hjälten
Jag finner fortsätta som är mest disinterest i vetenskap och tanke bestämt alarmera i USEN. Förmiddag I berättade, att många folk i USEN inte förstår begreppet av vetenskap, låter ensamt förtroende det eller vet även vad den har grundat. Debatten med evolution och intelligent design är enormt matande växande bekymmer om det kvalitets- av utbildning som deras barn får. Detta är överst av faktumet att USEN delas in i 15.000 individskoldistrikt.
I en konversation med någon för I var respekt högt, frustrationen tydlig, när hårt den beskrev samhälle påtagliga avoghet från något. Jag gissar det är om att finna a långt för att koppla in deltagare long nog, så att de är kompetent att få närmare prestation. När dig känselförnimmelse vad den hjälpmedel som uppnår något eller som ska fås till och med något som är hård, dig ser aldrig baksida. Psykolognågot att säga som brist av motivationen kan vara tack vare brist av self-esteem. Eller är det det folk är inte överenskommelsefullständighet? Det är rättvist så viktigt att gå hela vägen med en stränga av tankar i liv som efter igenom i en netballlek.
Förmiddag som I går att måste att bära på med denna, boxas i another postar, med en kläckning av ideer av saker som I/you kan göra för att hjälpa fallet av den vetenskaps… nr.en, tänkande.
Det fanns några samtal som fick mig egentligen upphetsad om att vara en del av vetenskap, och vara delen av en grupp, som är så kompletterande till mitt, värderar. En radda min expertis är rättvist frö snart alls och så upphetsada I-förmiddagen den precis att se vad jag kan göra av dem. Lära och undervisningen, tänkande och dela, veta och känsla, testa och observation - alla verkar för att beskriva jag själv as well as vetenskap. Jag gissar min arbetsrätt testar nu huruvida mig cankänselförnimmelsen denna frändskap för någonting annat. Är vad I känselförnimmelse med den riktiga labbgruppen? Faktiskt för ett ögonblick tänkte I kanske, att denna grupp var unik, och när jag lämnar för another, mig skulle inte omsorg för ”vetenskap” så mycket. Jag vet inte, utan nätt säkert för I-förmiddag som, om det händer, Jag ska har fortfarande riktning i mitt liv, som jag har alltid.
På något sätt skrev jag flera saker besegrar, att jag behöver att se upp och flera saker som jag behöver att göra. Goda för förmiddag I nog? Ska I förbättrar? I som hörs precis Professor kåta Pausch något att säga, att du måste att cherish återkoppling och att ge kritik, därför att det är när du vet dig har gjort något som är medelmåttig/som är patetisk, och no-one är träffande dig att du bör oroa - därför att de har givit sig upp. Jag instämm fullständigt, och det är något som jag oroar om mycket.
Affischen och en Starstruck berättelse
Min affisch var en söndagaffisch, och jag stod vid den från 2:45 till 4:30 PM. Jag vet inte, hur många folket sågar den, och jag inte minns, att hur många folket frågade mig, ifrågasätter, men allt vad det var, önskade jag mer. Men I-funderare som jag blev a, bet för tankfullt med denna uppgift, därför att jag inte fick en raddatid att undersöka de andra affischerna i min kategori. Det är a bet att förarga, därför att skulle det har varit dela upp att jag hade det högst riskerar av överenskommelse.
Jag fick en riskera till räckvidd ut några av folket vars namnger mig känner igen. Det var nätt kyler, fast jag cannågot att säga, som den inte jämför till den första tiden I, grundar ett pappers- av CS och noterade (jag vet, den så observant I-förmiddagen), det honom var precis besegra korridoren. Jag minns att träffande honom detta snart, efter och han verkade, sortera av förvånadt/roat på min reaktion - jag gissar honom hade inte varit medveten hur okunnigt jag betraktade hur vetenskap fungerade faktiskt. Jag undrar ofta min okunnighet var huruvida på par med genomsnittet understöder årsstudenten. På något sätt var affischdagen a bet stimulering för för mig - jag hade talat ett lott, ett mött folk för en radda och en inlärningssaker för en radda som jag föreställde aldrig att veta. Så avslutade jag upp i säng vid 9 PM - räkna sitt ups (100, 101…) och sparkar, tänkande om dagen, det känslig angeläget och upphetsad och realisera att jag inte hade ätit efter 6:30 PM natten för. Inte att jag var saknad mycket i, benämner av stora smaker.
Allt som jag måste något att säga, är, dagligt realiserar jag att ändra för I-förmiddag. I väg kan jag knappt förutsäga.
Mat och matställear
Mat i USEN är ökänt stor portionr in och kicken i fett. Ja ja. Allt som jag smakar, är fett. Ledsen Oh, ja, sockrar och saltar också. I-omnämnandefett? Oh brunn kan du smaka den vid lukten om även dig försök att undvika att äta det. Besvära med fett är, att den gör dig att önska mer fett och honestly, en bra yoghurt jämför inte egentligen till en saftig hamburgare. Men det är inte den lika I-förmiddagen som går, l5At några dagar i USEN fördärva mitt nytt själv-förkroppsliga-avbildar och - aktning. Självkontroll är nyckel-.
Matställear i USEN var stora! Jag tyckte om alla konversationer och skratt…, förmiddag som speciellt är appreciative av företaget. Det är rättvist att folket inte ha spendera tid med mig, hjälper mig för att vara trevligt till mig (eller någon)…, och yet dem, vet du? I'm very grateful for that and very aware of what it takes to get along with me. At the same time (and sort of unrelated to this trip, but nonetheless it's brought up now), I realise that some people associate with me for their own benefits. I am still unsure how to deal with this, as I am still going through the motions of being hurt and embarrassed. I don't even know that I need to be more protective, as that type of change would be an insult to my own integrity. Do you think? I am unsure. I had a few good conversations with MC and CS (separately) and I often wonder what they think. Maybe the day I figure this out will be the day I know I'm ready to graduate. Or something.
I went to the Graduate Breakfast, which was ok but I thought it was not very well organised. Met some nice people, though not as many as I had expected. Some people were more friendly than others.
III. Coming Down
Aquarium of the Pacific
So the aquarium is NOT the gigantic structure with sea-life painted all over it. No, it is the other building, three blocks away, that has no animals printed on it whatsoever. Brilliant. Anyway, I really like museums, galleries and collections of that nature, so I was quite enthusiastic about this visit and especially with MC there, who would know lots of izzle to complement the sights. Anyway, the aquarium was very pretty I admit, but lacking in information associated with the displays. That is also ok I guess, since I can look up information later.
BOX 2: I'm Creature, I'm Earth, My Mother, My Birth
What really got to me was learning about the distress of the animals, the damage that is brought down upon their habitats and how little anyone cares. Here are beautiful creatures and plants - silent against a backdrop of screaming children running around teachers who seem nonchalant about enriching their students' minds, let alone bringing forth a sense of social and environmental responsibility. There is a curiosity in living things, in our surroundings and how it all works that is crushed by peer pressure.
Ashamedly, I do recall that I used to be very passionate about my dolphins, whales and environment (I was never into horses, excuse me =P). But somehow that got lost. Maybe it was because I made that speech about the environment that was 2 minutes too long and everyone rolled their eyes at me. Maybe it was because I moved onto college and school-work took over my life. Maybe I just cared less. I don't know. I still have my posters, drawings and books. Hm. Sometimes I feel so apathetic. Am I? Have I become what I promised myself not to become? Anyway, I need a few days to downsize a few videos I took. They will be posted soon.
Shoreline Village There was a free afternoon on Wednesday that I spent walking along the waterfront. I like doing that and it feels familiar to me, like the waterfront in Wellington or Auckland. I walked as far as the beach and turned into the city. Again, a stranger nodded hello and walked on by. I am not sure why I am seeing a more friendly side of Long Beach than people have been telling me. That's my shadow in the photo there. I also managed to see Shoreline Village at night later on and that was really cool. I love roaming around, seeing and trying new things, talking to locals, breathing the air... And at night, it's a totally different experience.
The Way Back
I guess I was sorta sad and very tired on the flight back. I guess it ended too soon, but I feel motivated, inspired and very much grateful and humbled over where I am and what I have.
IV. Summary
I'm back on Earth, but maybe I have changed again. I have a warm feeling in my stomach that rises up suddenly like bubbles and I can't help but smile. Sometimes it's released as a giggle or even a laugh, but who cares what other people think? I am grateful for the people I have around me and the opportunities I have. There is still uncertainty over what I can do, what will become of me, but I have a much stronger sense of who I am now. I feel so ready to step up and I think I have made that mental move. A little more focussed, a little more alive.
Oh, I've started reading " The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold. :) I have recently read " The Chinese Room" by Vivian Connell, which I thought was pretty good. I don't know if I mentioned, but I also read " As You Thinketh" by James Allen and " Concepts of the Self" by Anthony Elliot. The latter was pretty good. The former, not so good. I've also read this paper produced by HP regarding the use of Facebook. Ok to dull paper. Been thinking about ICTs in the workplace and society. Have downloaded some papers on science and education, research-related stuff. I want to hit the ground running. But I have to remember why I am here. I need to learn to drive!!!
Long Beach, California
Automatically translated into Russian thanks to WorldLingo
Оправьтесь-doozles, я как раз имел быстро squiz над моими 2008 postings и мальчиками иметь их, котор будут плотн. Огорченно, ответные части - должны быть битом слишком поглощенным в разуме. ПОЧЕМУ ВЫ НЕ ПРЕДУПРЕДИЛИ МЕНЯ!!!! =P так или иначе, на фунт CA, B-phys для научных работников… Я должен быть rapper. Я считаю его трудно фильтровать в настоящее время, поэтому я как раз сделаю highlight разум-сброса и попытки более интересные части. В лубом случае, для тех которые не знают или не могут вспомнить - Биофизическое общество имеет ежегодное собрание для biophysicists вокруг мира для того чтобы связывать их исследование. Этот год, я был удачливейш достаточно быть спонсированным моей группой лаборатории (теплыми fuzzies) для того чтобы пойти настоящий момент исследование, котор я сделал в прошлом году. Да, «исследование, котор я сделал» все еще трескает меня вверх. I. Предвидеть
Ждать и задерживает
Приезжать monstrously раньше в середины авиапорта Wlg тратя чудовищное количество часов в место с ничего сделать. Удачно, я находился в весьма удовлетворительном настроении, так я не думал ничего его. Я не помню задерживаю, также, покуда они не мешают с моим план-графиком. Я могу развлечь как раз точное, вы.
сделал коснитесь немного нервов был «мы последние для отклонения из-за позднего прибытия плоскости.» То заявление даже достигает за исключением попытки для того чтобы обвинить someone else? Weird.
Прогулка Джереми Clarkson не говорит высоки прогулки между Auckland отечественным и международными аэропортами. Его описание имело бы меня думать что кто-то принуждало его побежать marathon с его багажом… uphill… и на одной ноге. Оно было фактическ очень скоро, очень легко и очень bland. Плохое Clarkson. Я буду неподвижно читаю его книги однако, coz, котор он damn funny. Отстробировать 10 и маленький параноидный рассказ
Чуть-чуть способно для того чтобы содержать ободрение клокоча как раз под моей кожей, я сделал beeline на строб 10 (AKL --> НЕСТРОГО), где метросвеча была уже. Во-первых я не смог найти его, так НОП после того как я развлечен идею то всей вещью конференци-плакат-бумаги будет конспирацияо принести меня вниз прежде чем я смогу построить на репутации and/or карьере. Подобно к моему сценарию работы right now, где давать мне огромные ответственность и потенциал сразу изменение справедлив установка к наблюдайте, как я разбиваю и горю. Никакое дело, потому что я получаем пинки от огромного потенциального падения и я реально не думает эти люди ненавидят на мне. =P оно справедливо я собственн-сомневаясь - почему я? Почему они хотели бы меня? Оно было холодно для того чтобы увидеть метросвечу, хотя я был довольно осведомленн что я быть очень тщательн о как надоедающ я!!! TK всегда добросердечно reminding я как надоедающ я от HK к AKL. Спасибо. Я лично не думаю я то надоедать, но hey я уважаю мнения других и I не сделайте те надоесть метросвечу.
Восхождение на борт и летать Доска! Доска! Доска! Так возбужено. Порекомендованная метросвеча Приключения ферзя Присцилла пустыни. Довольно funny, холодные costumes и soundtrack. Фактическ, оно было много funnier чем я предпологал. Heh. Quotes некоторого хорош от там, methinks. Я также наблюдал Клуб книги Джейн Austin, который было chicky щелчком поэтому вам нужно немного терпение. Немного cutesy, funny битов однако. На дороге назад, я наблюдал Волшебный мальчик, который было милой гречихой только я насладился HK-приправленными cutesy вещами. Я понимаю те социальные вещи больше чем любую социальную вещь, котор я собираю в NZ. Даже если я тратил большой разделайте моей жизни здесь. Я также наблюдал большую часть из Трансформаторы. Я наблюдать законцовку некоторое время, в виду того что я упал уснувше. Но оно полно не было я надеялся. Вся пленка будет справедливой придурковат-юмористикой, которую я не помню except that он станцевал опасн-закрывает к тупоумн-юмористике, как тип, котор вы находите в teen киноих или когда некоторая drunk ванта pees в бутылке и том полагает, что быть funny. Я быстро проходить-слушал к немного альбомов, но я все еще реально чувствую Ключи Алисия' По мере того как я. Примечание к собственной личности, я должен получить некоторые наушники в-уха.
Прибытие
AAAAARRRRRRRRRGHH!!! WOW - в L.A.!!! ЛОС-АНДЖЕЛЕС. Сладостно! Все ободрение над лежит справедливо за известный смешивать с памятями от первый раз. Так thrilling быть постучанным небольш с axle - вполне уверенного как вещи работают, где вещи…
По мере того как мы ждали челнок для того чтобы прийти, я был изумлен фактом, котор я находился в другой стране снова. Я был изумлен по-разному автомобилями, зданиями, валами и людьми… почти по-разному небо даже если я знаю его не… Я был унижен взглядом на сторонах людей когда вы дадите им неподдельную усмешку, если на момент они come out of их собственная кожа. Я также marvelled на длине, но единообразие комплекта ложных ресниц organiser челнока, котор имел дальше. Я интересовал имела ли она preened для работы или была ли она встречей кто-то.
Я думаю я спало через большую часть из езды к Long Beach. Но по мере того как мы приехали, я узнал улицы и здания которым я semi-исследовал использование Карты Google. Я люблю иметь воду близрасположенно потому что он дает мне контрольную точку и я чувствую более готовым исследовать. Будет хорошим ощупыванием. Мы проверили в гостиницу и было хорошо для того чтобы иметь немного часов справедливых перезарядить. Я распаковал в roomy после этого открынные ящики и cupboard, ливню с 2 поливать-головки и двойн-выровнянный занавес, проводник волос который фактическ работает и толщиные, semi-soft полотенца и most importantly, нежность но твердая кровать с бесконечными подушками, duvet толщиных но semi-света и crisp листы. Настолько heavenly. Хотя оно все еще реально не сравнивает к моей собственной кровати. =P
CII. Там
The first time
Мы зарегистрировали/выбранное вверх вещество и пошли к беседам в Подгруппа по биофизики мембраны (модификаторы и модуляторы/демодулятор канала стробируя). Получать back into язык науки был гораздо легке чем думаемое I и уже я принимало комфорт в факте, котор я смог связывать с метросвечой без сперва думать, «теперь, как персона дела интерпретировала бы это?» Likewise, когда мы meet up with CS на Смеситель отверстия, было хорошо поговорило по мере того как я говорю на год. Я все еще довольно сотрястин на почему это так. Я также интересую how much CE изменял меня и больше оно будут. Я все еще учу поговорить 2 декады после моего первого слова. Я пила метросвеча и CS разговариваю при различные коллегаы и люди вводя к беседе потенциальных соединений и collaborations. Оно было exciting и забавляющ… Я угадываю вы смогло сказать что на том этапе я даже не осуществил я было overwhelmed - только я был и я радостен я имел те 2 там. Затем времена и завтра
По мере того как я присутствовал на больше встреч и смотрел больше плакатов, я начал красить изображение что биофизика была совсем около. Я попытался включить в других исследование самого для вопроса, но также для идей которые могут быть переведены «моим» (имеющ «мои» исследование все еще чувствует weird к мне). Я больше был привлечен к методологии и мотивировке в отличие от фактических заключений. Я интересовал отразило ли это неоднозначность и часто meaninglessness заключений или показало ли оно что-то о моем интересе в знании и науке. Делаю я люблю наука или сделайте я полюбите знание? Я думаю я любит наука - знание здания и его можно использовать для. В любом случае, я увидел немного проектов которые сделали меня думать о моем будущем проекте в новых дорогах. Они также сделали меня думать около problem-solving в небольш по-разному дороге.
Я был очень осведомленн что я считал его трудно понять множество работы людей. Опять, я не знал был ли он потому что они всосали или я всосал. Вероятно немного оба, в виду того что я не что близкий друг с широк-рядом методов и подходов к problem-solving. Я намереваюсь, я угадываю который почему я здесь. Но я должен впустить я немного разочарованное что международные ровные научные работники не более лучшие или более внимательные к сообщение их исследования. Опять, люди которые не кладут это усилие внутри не могут просто иметь право пожаловаться они misunderstood в их заведениях, let alone широкой публике. Я не говорю что он не принимает 2 к tango однако. Все еще, even if люди не заинтересованн в сообщении для ради связи (я не могу реально понять что), тогда они все еще быть заинтересованн в фондировать. И фондировать зависит настолько на общественном давлении, также, как значение общества на интеллекте и образовании.
КОРОБКА 1: Наука, герой Unsung
Я считаю продолжать disinterest в науке и мысль определенно тревожащ в США. Я сказан что много людей в США не понимают принципиальную схему науки, let alone для того чтобы доверить ей or even знать они основывали. Debate с развитием и толковейшей конструкцией будет огромная, подавая забота о качестве образования их, котор дети получают. Это on top of факт что США разделены в 15.000 индивидуальных заречь школы.
В переговоре с кто-то, котор я высоки уважаю, фрустрация был очевидно описывая отвращение общества явно от что-нибыдь крепко. Я угадываю он о находить дорогу включить студентов long enough TAK, CTO они будут получить closer to достижение. Как только вы чувствуете они намереваются достигнуть что-то, или получаются через что-то трудное, вы никогда не смотрите назад. Psychologists говорят что отсутсвие мотивировки может быть из-за отсутсвия самоуважения. Или будет это теми людьми не понимает герметичность? Идти полностью с шнуром мыслей в жизни справедливые как важными как следующ за до конца в игру netball.
Я иду продолжить с этой коробкой в другом столбе, с brainstorm вещей которые I/you может сделать для того чтобы помочь случаю нет науки…, думать.
Были немного бесед получили меня реально после того как они возбужены о быть часть науки и быть часть группы настолько комплементарно к моим значениям. Множеством моих искусств будет справедливые семена если что-нибыдь на всех и я справедливы поэтому возбужены увидеть, то я могу сделать их. Учить и учить, думать и делить, знать и чувствовать, испытывать и наблюдать - все кажется, что описывают также, как наука. Я угадываю мои испытания работы right now ли я могу чувствовать это сродство для something else. Будет я чувствую с группой лаборатории поистине? Фактическ, на момент iий думало возможно что эта группа была уникально и когда я выйду для других, я не позаботило бы для «науки» как очень. Я не знаю, но я довольно уверенно который если то случается, то Я неподвижно буду иметь направление в моей жизни, по мере того как я всегда имею.
В лубом случае, я написал несколько вещей вниз которые мне нужно для того чтобы посмотреть вверх и нескольких вещей, котор мне нужно сделать. Я хорош достаточно? Будьте I улучшите? Я как раз услышал Профессор Рэнди Pausch скажите что вы должны взлелеять обратную связь и critique потому что он когда вы знаете вы делал что-то бесталанное/pathetic и no-one будет говорящ вам что вы должны потревожиться - потому что они давали вверх. Я вполне соглашаюсь и он что-то, котор я тревожусь около много.
Плакат и рассказ Starstruck
Мой плакат был плакатом воскресенья и я приготовил его от 2:45 к 4:30 PM. Я не знаю how many люди увидели они и я не вспоминает люди спросили мне вопросам, но оно было, я хотел больше. Но я думаю я стало битом слишком preoccupied с этой задачей, потому что я не получили, что долговременно рассмотрел другие плакаты в моей категории. То будет бит надоедая потому что то был бы раздел что я имел самые высокие шансы понимать.
Я получил шансу к объему вне некоторые из людей имена я узнаю. То было довольно холодно, хотя я могу сказать что он не сравнивает к the first time мне находил бумагу CS и замеченное (я знаю, я настолько заметлив) то он было как раз вниз с залы. Я вспоминаю сказать ему это скоро после того как и он показался видом после того как он удивлен/после того как он позабавлен на моей реакции - я угадываю он не было осведомленн как невежественно я считал как наука фактическ работала. Я часто интересую находилось ли мое незнание на равенстве с средним вторым старшекурсником года. В лубом случае, днем плаката был бит слишком стимулируя для меня - я поговорил много, встрещенное множество людей и выученное множество вещей, котор я никогда не представлял знать. Так я закончился вверх в кровати 9 PM - подсчитывающ сидите поднимает (100, 101…) и пинки, думающ о дне, чувствующ тревожен и возбужен и осуществляющ что я не съел с 6:30 PM ноча раньше. Не что я пропускал много in terms of большой вкус.
Все, котор я должен сказать, ежедневно я осуществляю я изменяет. В дорогах я могу трудно предсказать.
Еда и обеды
Еда в США заведомо большая в частях и высоко в сале. Да, да. Все вкус I будет тавотом. Oh огорченный, да, также засахаривает и солит. Я упомянул тавот? Oh, добро вы можете пробовать его запахом even if вы пытаетесь избежать съесть его. Тревога с тавотом что она делает вас хотеть больше тавота и честно, хороший югурт реально не сравнивает к сочному burger. Но не будет как я иду препятствую немного дней в США гублю мое новое собственн-тел-изображение и - esteem. Самоконтролем будет ключ.
Обеды в США были больш! Я насладился всеми переговорами и смехом… am специально appreciative компании. Оно справедливо что люди не делают имейте для того чтобы быть славно к мне (или любому), потратьте время с мной, помогите мне… and yet они делают, вы знаете? I'm very grateful for that and very aware of what it takes to get along with me. At the same time (and sort of unrelated to this trip, but nonetheless it's brought up now), I realise that some people associate with me for their own benefits. I am still unsure how to deal with this, as I am still going through the motions of being hurt and embarrassed. I don't even know that I need to be more protective, as that type of change would be an insult to my own integrity. Do you think? I am unsure. I had a few good conversations with MC and CS (separately) and I often wonder what they think. Maybe the day I figure this out will be the day I know I'm ready to graduate. Or something.
I went to the Graduate Breakfast, which was ok but I thought it was not very well organised. Met some nice people, though not as many as I had expected. Some people were more friendly than others.
III. Coming Down
Aquarium of the Pacific
So the aquarium is NOT the gigantic structure with sea-life painted all over it. No, it is the other building, three blocks away, that has no animals printed on it whatsoever. Brilliant. Anyway, I really like museums, galleries and collections of that nature, so I was quite enthusiastic about this visit and especially with MC there, who would know lots of izzle to complement the sights. Anyway, the aquarium was very pretty I admit, but lacking in information associated with the displays. That is also ok I guess, since I can look up information later.
BOX 2: I'm Creature, I'm Earth, My Mother, My Birth
What really got to me was learning about the distress of the animals, the damage that is brought down upon their habitats and how little anyone cares. Here are beautiful creatures and plants - silent against a backdrop of screaming children running around teachers who seem nonchalant about enriching their students' minds, let alone bringing forth a sense of social and environmental responsibility. There is a curiosity in living things, in our surroundings and how it all works that is crushed by peer pressure.
Ashamedly, I do recall that I used to be very passionate about my dolphins, whales and environment (I was never into horses, excuse me =P). But somehow that got lost. Maybe it was because I made that speech about the environment that was 2 minutes too long and everyone rolled their eyes at me. Maybe it was because I moved onto college and school-work took over my life. Maybe I just cared less. I don't know. I still have my posters, drawings and books. Hm. Sometimes I feel so apathetic. Am I? Have I become what I promised myself not to become? Anyway, I need a few days to downsize a few videos I took. They will be posted soon.
Shoreline Village There was a free afternoon on Wednesday that I spent walking along the waterfront. I like doing that and it feels familiar to me, like the waterfront in Wellington or Auckland. I walked as far as the beach and turned into the city. Again, a stranger nodded hello and walked on by. I am not sure why I am seeing a more friendly side of Long Beach than people have been telling me. That's my shadow in the photo there. I also managed to see Shoreline Village at night later on and that was really cool. I love roaming around, seeing and trying new things, talking to locals, breathing the air... And at night, it's a totally different experience.
The Way Back
I guess I was sorta sad and very tired on the flight back. I guess it ended too soon, but I feel motivated, inspired and very much grateful and humbled over where I am and what I have.
IV. Summary
I'm back on Earth, but maybe I have changed again. I have a warm feeling in my stomach that rises up suddenly like bubbles and I can't help but smile. Sometimes it's released as a giggle or even a laugh, but who cares what other people think? I am grateful for the people I have around me and the opportunities I have. There is still uncertainty over what I can do, what will become of me, but I have a much stronger sense of who I am now. I feel so ready to step up and I think I have made that mental move. A little more focussed, a little more alive.
Oh, I've started reading " The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold. :) I have recently read " The Chinese Room" by Vivian Connell, which I thought was pretty good. I don't know if I mentioned, but I also read " As You Thinketh" by James Allen and " Concepts of the Self" by Anthony Elliot. The latter was pretty good. The former, not so good. I've also read this paper produced by HP regarding the use of Facebook. Ok to dull paper. Been thinking about ICTs in the workplace and society. Have downloaded some papers on science and education, research-related stuff. I want to hit the ground running. But I have to remember why I am here. I need to learn to drive!!!
Lang Strand, Californië
Automatically translated into Dutch thanks to WorldLingo
Crap -crap-doozles, had ik enkel een snelle squiz over mijn het posten en jongen van 2008 zij hebben dicht. Droevig, partners - moet een beetje geweest zijn dat ook in de mening wordt geabsorbeerd. WAAROM U ME NIET!!! WAARSCHUWDE! =P hoe dan ook, op pond van CA, B -B-phys voor de wetenschappers… Ik zou rapper moeten zijn. Ik vind het hard aan filter op het ogenblik, zodat zal ik enkel een mening-stortplaats doen en zal hoogtepunt de interessantere delen proberen. In elk geval, voor hen die niet het weten of zich niet kunnen herinneren - De biofysische Maatschappij heeft een jaarlijkse vergadering voor biophysicists rond de wereld om hun onderzoek mee te delen. Dit jaar, ik gelukkig genoeg was door mijn laboratoriumgroep (warme fuzzies) aanwezig worden gesponsord om te gaan het onderzoek ik vorig jaar. Ja, het „onderzoek ik“ barst omhoog me nog. I. Het voorzien
Wachten en Vertragingen
Het aankomen monstrously vroeg bij luchthaven Wlg betekent bestedend een monsterlijk aantal uren in een plaats met te doen niets. Gelukkig, was ik in een uiterst aangename stemming, zo dacht ik niets van het. Ik let op geen vertragingen, ook niet, zolang zij zich niet in mijn programma mengen. Ik kan enkel fijn onderhouden, u danken.
Wat [[did]] raak een paar zenuwen was „wij zijn laat voor vertrek toe te schrijven aan de recente aankomst van het vliegtuig.“ Wat bereikt die verklaring gelijk behalve poging om iemand anders te beschuldigen? Bizar.
De gang Jeremy Clarkson spreekt niet hoogst van de gang tussen de binnenlandse en internationale luchthavens van Auckland. Zijn beschrijving zou me hebben denken dat iemand hem dwong om marathon met zijn bagage in werking te stellen… bergopwaarts… en op één been. Het was eigenlijk zeer kort, zeer gemakkelijk en zeer zacht. Slechte Clarkson. Ik zal nog zijn boeken niettemin lezen, coz is hij grappige vloek. Aan Poort 10 en een weinig Paranoïde Verhaal
Nauwelijks bekwaam om de opwinding te bevatten die net onder mijn huid borrelt, maakte ik een beeline voor Poort 10 (AKL --> LOS), waar MC reeds was. Eerst kon ik niet hem vinden, zodat gehad het idee dat volledige is het conferentie-affiche-papier ding een samenzwering om me te verlagen alvorens ik op een reputatie en/of een carrière kan voortbouwen. Gelijkaardig aan mijn het werkscenario op dit ogenblik, waar het geven van me reusachtig verantwoordelijkheid en potentieel om verandering te leiden enkel een opstelling aan is let op me neerstorting en brandwond. Geen kwestie, omdat ik schoppen van een reusachtige potentiële daling krijg en ik werkelijk deze mensen niet denk haat op me. =P het is enkel zelf-betwijfelt me - waarom me? Waarom zouden zij me willen? Het was koel om MC te zien, hoewel ik me vrij ervan bewust was dat ik over zeer zorgvuldig zou moeten zijn hoe ergerend ik ben!!! TK herinnert me altijd vriendelijk aan hoe ergerend ik ben van HK aan AKL. Dank. Ik denk niet persoonlijk ik ben dat het ergeren, maar hey I eerbiedigt de adviezen van anderen en I niet wil MC ergeren.
Het inschepen en het Vliegen Raad! Raad! Raad! Zo opgewekt. Geadviseerd MC De avonturen van Koningin Priscilla van de Woestijn. Vrij grappige, koele kostuums en sound-track. Eigenlijk, was het veel grappiger dan dacht ik. Heh. Sommige goede citaten van daar, methinks. Ik lette ook op De club van het Boek van Jane Austin, wat chicky was flick u vereisen zo een weinig geduld. Een paar cutesy, grappige beetjes niettemin. Op de manier rug, lette op ik Magische Jongen, wat mooie crap was maar ik genoot van de HK-Op smaak gebrachte cutesy dingen. Ik begrijp die sociale dingen meer dan om het even welk sociaal ding dat ik me in NZ heb verzameld. Alhoewel ik een groter gedeelte van mijn leven hier heb besteed. Ik lette ook op de meesten van Transformatoren. Ik zal op het einde moeten letten wat tijd, aangezien ik in slaap viel. Maar het totaal was niet wat ik verwachtte. De gehele film is enkel dwaas-humeur, geen datop ik behalve dat let het danste gevaarlijk-dicht aan stom-humeur, zoals het type u in tienermovies of wanneer één of andere dronken kerel in een fles plast en dat bent verondersteld grappig om te zijn vindt. Ik ver*zenden-geluisterd aan een paar albums, maar ik voel nog werkelijk Alicia Keys' Zoals ben ik. Nota aan zelf, moet ik sommige in-ooroortelefoons krijgen.
Aankomst
AAAAARRRRRRRRRGHH!!! WOW - in L.A.!!! LOS ANGELES. Zoet! Alle opwinding over wat enkel voorbij zich het bekende mengen met geheugen van ligt eerste keer. Zo opwindend om lichtjes van niet volledig zekere as worden geklopt - hoe de dingen werken, waar de dingen… zijn
Aangezien wij op de pendel wachtten te komen, werd ik verbaasd door het feit ik opnieuw in een ander land was. Ik werd verbaasd door de verschillende auto's, de gebouwen, de bomen en de mensen… bijna is een verschillende hemel alhoewel ik het weet het niet… Ik was humbled door de blik op de gezichten van mensen wanneer u hen een echte glimlach geeft, alsof voor een ogenblik zij uit hun eigen huid zijn gekomen. Ik verwonderde me ook bij de lengte, nog uniformiteit van een reeks valse eyelashes de pendelorganisator had. Ik vroeg me af of zij preened voor het werk had of of zij iemand ontmoette.
Ik denk ik door het grootste deel van de rit aan Lang Strand sliep. Maar aangezien wij aankwamen, erkende ik de straten en de gebouwen dat ik het gebruiken had semi-onderzocht De Kaarten van Google. Ik houd van hebbend het nabijgelegen water omdat het me een verwijzingspunt geeft en ik voel meer bereid te onderzoeken. Het is een goed gevoel. Wij controleerden in het hotel en het was goed om een paar uren enkel aan herladen te hebben. Ik pakte in roomy laden en kast uit, dan ontdekte een douche met twee douche-hoofden en een dubbel-gevoerd gordijn, haarveredelingsmiddel dat eigenlijk en dikke, halfzachte handdoeken en het belangrijkst, een zacht nog vast bed met eindeloze hoofdkussens, dik nog semi-licht duvet en kernachtige bladen werkt. Zo hemels. Hoewel het nog niet werkelijk bij mijn eigen bed vergelijkt. =P
II. Daar
Eerste Time
Wij registreerden/opgenomen materiaal en gingen naar besprekingen in De Subgroep van de Biofysica van het membraan (Gating van het Kanaal Bepalingen en Modulators). Krijgen terug in de taal van wetenschap was veel gemakkelijker dan de gedachte van I en reeds nam ik comfort in het feit ik met MC kon meedelen zonder eerst het moeten, „nu denken, hoe een bedrijfspersoon dit?“ zou interpreteren Eveneens, toen wij op Cs bij stootten Openings Mixer, was het goed kunnen spreken aangezien ik voor een jaar heb gesproken. Ik ben nog vrij geschokt bij waarom dit zo is. Ik ben ook hoeveel Ce benieuwd me heeft veranderd en hoeveel meer het zullen. Ik leer nog om twee decennia na mijn eerste woord te spreken. Ik zag MC en van Cs bespreking met diverse collega's en mensen die introduceren aan bespreking van potentiële verbindingen en samenwerking. Het was opwekkend en amuserend… Ik veronderstel u kon zeggen dat in dat stadium dat ik niet ik werd overweldigd zelfs had gerealiseerd - maar ik was en ik ben blij ik die twee daar had. Verdere Tijden en morgen
Aangezien ik meer zittingen bijwoonde en meer affiches bekeek, begon ik een beeld te schilderen van welke Biofysica allen ongeveer was. Ik probeerde om in het onderzoek van anderen voor het onderwerp zelf, maar ook voor ideeën in dienst te nemen die aan „mijn kunnen worden vertaald“ (hebben van „mijn eigen“ onderzoek nog voelt bizar aan me). Ik werd meer aangetrokken naar methodologie en motivatie in tegenstelling tot de daadwerkelijke conclusies. Ik vroeg me af of dit op de ambiguïteit en vaak meaninglessness van conclusies wees of of het iets over mijn rente in kennis en wetenschap openbaarde. Houd ik van wetenschap of houd ik van kennis? Ik denk ik van wetenschap - de bouwkennis houd en wat het kan worden gebruikt voor. In elk geval, zag ik een paar projecten die me maakten over mijn toekomstig project op nieuwe manieren denken. Zij maakten me ook over oplossen van problemen op een lichtjes verschillende manier denken.
Ik was me zeer ervan bewust dat ik het moeilijk vond om het werk van heel wat mensen te begrijpen. Opnieuw, wist ik niet of het was omdat zij zogen of ik zoog. Waarschijnlijk een weinig allebei, aangezien ik niet die huisvriend met de breed-waaier van technieken en benaderingen van oplossen van problemen ben. Ik beteken, veronderstel ik die ben waarom ik hier ben. Maar ik moet toelaten ik een weinig teleurgesteld ben dat de internationale niveauwetenschappers beter of niet aandachtiger zijn naar mededeling van hun onderzoek. Opnieuw, de mensen die deze inspanning niet doen kunnen niet het recht eenvoudig hebben te klagen zij in hun instellingen, laat staan het grote publiek onbegrepen zijn. Ik zeg niet dat het geen twee aan tango niettemin neemt. Nog, zelfs als de mensen niet geinteresseerd in mededeling voor communicatie belang (ik kan niet werkelijk begrijpen dat), dan zijn moeten zij nog geinteresseerd zijn in financiering. En de financiering is zo afhankelijk van openbare druk, evenals de waarde van de maatschappij op intellect en Onderwijs.
DOOS 1: Wetenschap, de Miskende Held
Ik vind voortdurende disinterest in wetenschap en gedachte bijzonder alarmerend in de V.S. Ik word verteld dat vele mensen in de V.S. niet het concept wetenschap, laat staan vertrouwen het begrijpen of zelfs weten wat het heeft opgericht. Het debat met evolutie en intelligent ontwerp is reusachtige, het voeden groeiende bezorgdheid over de kwaliteit van onderwijs hun kinderen krijgen. Dit is bovenop het feit dat de V.S. in 15.000 individuele schooldistricten verdeeld zijn.
In een gesprek met iemand was de eerbied van I hoogst, de frustratie duidelijk toen hard het beschrijven van de duidelijke afkeer van de maatschappij van om het even wat. Ik veronderstel het over het vinden van een manier om long enough studenten is in dienst te nemen zodat zij dichter aan voltooiing kunnen worden. Zodra u vindt wat het betekent om iets te bereiken, of door iets hard te worden, terug nooit kijkt u. De psychologen zeggen dat het gebrek aan motivatie wegens gebrek aan zelfrespect kan zijn. Of is het dat mensen het begrip geen integriteit is? Gaand is al manier met een koord van gedachten in het leven enkel belangrijk zo zoals door volgend in een netballspel.
Ik ga met deze doos in een andere post, met een uitwisseling van ideeën van dingen moeten dragen die I/you kan doen het geval van wetenschap… nr helpen, het denken.
Er waren een paar besprekingen die me werkelijk over het zijn een deel van wetenschap en het uitmaken deel van een groep opgewekt kregen die aan mijn waarden zo complementair is. Heel wat mijn vaardigheden zijn enkel zaden als om het even wat bij alle en ik zo enkel opgewekt ben om te zien wat ik van hen kan maken. Het leren en het onderwijzen, het denken en het delen, het het weten en het voelen, het testen en het waarnemen - allen schijnen om evenals wetenschap te beschrijven. Ik veronderstel op dit ogenblik mijn het werktests of ik deze affiniteit voor iets anders kan voelen. Is wat ik met de laboratoriumgroep waar voel? Eigenlijk, voor een ogenblik dacht I misschien dat deze groep uniek was en wanneer ik voor een andere wegga, zou ik niet voor „wetenschap“ zoals veel geven. Ik weet niet het, maar ik ben vrij zeker dat als dat gebeurt, Ik zal nog richting in mijn leven hebben, aangezien ik altijd heb.
In elk geval, schreef ik verscheidene dingen neer die ik om omhooggaand nodig heb te kijken en verscheidene dingen I behoefte te doen. Ben genoeg het goed van I? Zal ik kunnen verbeteren? Ik hoorde enkel Professor Randy Pausch zeg dat u moet koesteren terugkoppelt en de kritiek omdat het is wanneer u weet u middelmatig/pathetisch heeft gedaan iets en niemand u vertelt dat u zich zou moeten ongerust maken - omdat zij hebben opgegeven. Ik ga volledig akkoord en het is iets ik me over een ongerust maak.
De affiche en een Verhaal Starstruck
Mijn affiche was een affiche van de Zondag en ik bevond me door het van 2:45 aan 4:30 PM. Ik weet hoeveel niet mensen het zagen en ik hoeveel niet mensen me vragen stelden, maar herinner wat er ook het was, wilde ik meer. Maar ik denk ik een beetje dat ook met deze taak geheel in beslag wordt genomen werd, omdat ik niet heel wat tijd werd om de andere affiches in mijn categorie te onderzoeken. Dat is een beetje dat omdat dat de sectie ergert zou geweest zijn dat ik de hoogste kansen had om te begrijpen.
Ik ging een kans aan werkingsgebied weg enkele mensen van wie namen ik erken. Dat was vrij koel, hoewel ik kan zeggen dat het niet bij de eerste keer vergelijkt ik een document door Cs vond en nota nam van (ik weet het, ben ik zo observant) dat hij was enkel onderaan de zaal. Ik herinner me spoedig vertellend hem dit nadat en hij soort van verrast/geamuseerd bij mijn reactie scheen - ik veronderstel hij niet bewust was geweest hoe onwetend ik beschouwde hoe de wetenschap eigenlijk werkte. Ik vraag me vaak af of mijn onwetendheid op pari met de gemiddelde het tweede jaarniet-gegradueerde was. In elk geval, was de affichedag een beetje dat ook voor me bevordert - ik had een gesproken, heel wat mensen ontmoet en leerde heel wat dingen die ik nooit heb verondersteld verstandig. Zo beëindigde ik omhoog in bed door 9 PM - het tellen zit UPS (100, 101…) en schoppen, denkend over de dag, voelend bezorgd en opgewekt en realiserend dat ik niet sinds 6:30 PM de voordien nacht had gegeten. Niet dat miste ik veel in termen van grote smaken.
Alle moet ik zeggen is, dagelijks realiseer ik ik verander. Op manieren kan ik nauwelijks voorspellen.
Voedsel en Diners
Het voedsel in de V.S. is algemeen bekend groot in gedeelten en hoog in vet. Ja, ja. Al smaak van I is vet. Droevig Oh, ja, ook suiker en zout. Vermeldde ik vet? Oh, goed u kan het door geur proeven zelfs als u probeert vermijden etend het. Het probleem met vet is dat het u maakt meer vet willen en eerlijk, vergelijkt een goede yoghurt niet werkelijk bij een sappige hamburger. Maar het is niet als ik ga een paar dagen in de V.S. laten mijn nieuw zelf-lichaam-beeld ruïneren en - achting. De zelf-controle is zeer belangrijk.
De diners in de V.S. waren groot! Ik genoot van alle gesprekken en lach… am vooral waarderend van het bedrijf. Het is enkel dat de mensen niet heb om aan me (of iedereen) aardig te zijn, breng tijd met me door, helpen me… en toch weten zij, u het? I'm very grateful for that and very aware of what it takes to get along with me. At the same time (and sort of unrelated to this trip, but nonetheless it's brought up now), I realise that some people associate with me for their own benefits. I am still unsure how to deal with this, as I am still going through the motions of being hurt and embarrassed. I don't even know that I need to be more protective, as that type of change would be an insult to my own integrity. Do you think? I am unsure. I had a few good conversations with MC and CS (separately) and I often wonder what they think. Maybe the day I figure this out will be the day I know I'm ready to graduate. Or something.
I went to the Graduate Breakfast, which was ok but I thought it was not very well organised. Met some nice people, though not as many as I had expected. Some people were more friendly than others.
III. Coming Down
Aquarium of the Pacific
So the aquarium is NOT the gigantic structure with sea-life painted all over it. No, it is the other building, three blocks away, that has no animals printed on it whatsoever. Brilliant. Anyway, I really like museums, galleries and collections of that nature, so I was quite enthusiastic about this visit and especially with MC there, who would know lots of izzle to complement the sights. Anyway, the aquarium was very pretty I admit, but lacking in information associated with the displays. That is also ok I guess, since I can look up information later.
BOX 2: I'm Creature, I'm Earth, My Mother, My Birth
What really got to me was learning about the distress of the animals, the damage that is brought down upon their habitats and how little anyone cares. Here are beautiful creatures and plants - silent against a backdrop of screaming children running around teachers who seem nonchalant about enriching their students' minds, let alone bringing forth a sense of social and environmental responsibility. There is a curiosity in living things, in our surroundings and how it all works that is crushed by peer pressure.
Ashamedly, I do recall that I used to be very passionate about my dolphins, whales and environment (I was never into horses, excuse me =P). But somehow that got lost. Maybe it was because I made that speech about the environment that was 2 minutes too long and everyone rolled their eyes at me. Maybe it was because I moved onto college and school-work took over my life. Maybe I just cared less. I don't know. I still have my posters, drawings and books. Hm. Sometimes I feel so apathetic. Am I? Have I become what I promised myself not to become? Anyway, I need a few days to downsize a few videos I took. They will be posted soon.
Shoreline Village There was a free afternoon on Wednesday that I spent walking along the waterfront. I like doing that and it feels familiar to me, like the waterfront in Wellington or Auckland. I walked as far as the beach and turned into the city. Again, a stranger nodded hello and walked on by. I am not sure why I am seeing a more friendly side of Long Beach than people have been telling me. That's my shadow in the photo there. I also managed to see Shoreline Village at night later on and that was really cool. I love roaming around, seeing and trying new things, talking to locals, breathing the air... And at night, it's a totally different experience.
The Way Back
I guess I was sorta sad and very tired on the flight back. I guess it ended too soon, but I feel motivated, inspired and very much grateful and humbled over where I am and what I have.
IV. Summary
I'm back on Earth, but maybe I have changed again. I have a warm feeling in my stomach that rises up suddenly like bubbles and I can't help but smile. Sometimes it's released as a giggle or even a laugh, but who cares what other people think? I am grateful for the people I have around me and the opportunities I have. There is still uncertainty over what I can do, what will become of me, but I have a much stronger sense of who I am now. I feel so ready to step up and I think I have made that mental move. A little more focussed, a little more alive.
Oh, I've started reading " The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold. :) I have recently read " The Chinese Room" by Vivian Connell, which I thought was pretty good. I don't know if I mentioned, but I also read " As You Thinketh" by James Allen and " Concepts of the Self" by Anthony Elliot. The latter was pretty good. The former, not so good. I've also read this paper produced by HP regarding the use of Facebook. Ok to dull paper. Been thinking about ICTs in the workplace and society. Have downloaded some papers on science and education, research-related stuff. I want to hit the ground running. But I have to remember why I am here. I need to learn to drive!!!
[لونغ بش], كاليفورنيا
Automatically translated into Arabic thanks to WorldLingo
[كرب-دووزلس], تلقّى أنا فقط [سقويز] سريعة على ي 2008 إرسال بالبريد وفتى يتلقّى هم يكان كثيفة. آسفة, رفيقات - ينبغي يتلقّى كنت لقمة أيضا يمتصّ في العقل. لما لم أنت حذّرتني!!!! [ب] مهما كان, على ال [لب] من ال [ك], [ب-فس] ل ال [سكين-تيستس]… أنا سوفت كنت [ربّر]. أنا أجد هو يستعصي أن ييصفّي [أت ث مومنت], لذلك سيتمّ أنا فقط [ميند-دومب] ومحاولة حدث هامّ الأكثر أجزاء ممتعة. مهما كان, ل أنّ الذي لا يعرف أو يستطيع لا يتذكّر - ال مجتمعة فيزيائيّ حيويّ يتلقّى [أنّول ميتينغ] ل [بيوفسسست] حول العالم أن يتّصل بحرهم. هذا سنة, كان أنا محظوظة بكفاية أن يكون كفلت ب ي مختبرة مجموعة ([فوزّيس] دافئة) أن يذهب هدية البحث أنا أتمّت [لست ر]. نعم, "ينصدعني بحث أنا أتمّت" بعد فوق. [إي.]. يتوقّع
يؤخّر ينتظر و
يصل [مونسترووسلي] باكرا في [ولغ] مطار [منس] ينفق رقم [مونسترووس] ساعات في مكان مع لاشيء أن يتمّ. لحسن الحظّ, كان أنا في مزاج مرضية جدّا, هكذا أنا فكّر لاشيء من هو. أنا لا أبالي يؤخّر, أيضا, [أس لونغ س] لا يتدخّل هم مع جدولي. شكرت أنا يستطيع سلّيتبنفسي فقط دقيقة, أنت.
ماذا أتمّ لمست [ا فو] أعصاب كان "نحن متأخّرة لمغادرة واجبة إلى الطائرة وصول متأخّرة." ماذا أنّ بيان حتّى يحقّق باستثناء محاولة أن يلوم [سميون لس]? غريبة.
المشية [جرمي] [كلركسن] لا يتكلّم جدّا من المشية بين أوكلاند محلّية ومطارات دوليّة. تلقّىني وصفه فكّرت أنّ أحد ما كان أجبره أن يركض سباق المارتون مع حقيبته… صعدا… وعلى واحدة ساق. هو كان واقعيّا جدّا قصيرة, جدّا يتيح وجدّا رقيقة. [كلركسن] فقيرة. أنا أريد ساكنة يقرأ كتبه مع ذلك, [كز] هو يكون ملعونة مضحكة. أن يمنع 10 وقصة صغيرة رهابيّ
بشقّ النّفس يمكن أن يحتوي الإثارة يبقبق فقط تحت جلدي, جعل أنا [بيلين] لبوابة 10 ([أكل] -->رخوة), حيث [مك] كان سابقا. أوّلا أنا استطاع لم يجده, [س ثت] يسلّي الفكرة أنّ الكاملة [كنفرنس-بوستر-ببر] شيء تآمر أن يحضرني إلى أسفل قبل أن أنا يستطيع بنيت على سمعة [أند/ور] مهنة. مماثلة إلى ي عمل سيناريو حاليّا, حيث يعطيني ضخمة مسؤولية وإحتمال أن يوجّه تغير يكون صحيحة تركيب إلى راقبتني تحطّمت وأحرقت. ما من يفكّر أمر, لأنّ أنا أحصل رفس من سقوط ضخمة ممكنة وأنا لا حقّا هذا الناس يكرهون على ي. [ب] هو صحيحة ي [سلف-دووبتينغ] - لماذا ي? لماذا هم أرادواني? هو كان باردة أن يرى [مك], رغم أنّ أنا كنت الى حدّ بعيد مدركة أنّ اضطرّ أنا كنت جدّا حريصة حول كيف يضأيق أنا أكون!!! يذكّرني [تك] دائما بلطف من كيف يضأيق أنا أكون من [هك] إلى [أكل]. شكور. يفكّر أنا لا شخصيّا أنا أنّ يضأيق, غير أنّ هاي يحترم أنا الآراء من أخرى وأنا أتمّت لا أردت أن يضأيق [مك].
يطلع ويطير لوح! لوح! لوح! هكذا يثير. [مك] أوصى المغامرات من [بريسكيلّا] ملكة من الصحراء. الى حدّ بعيد مضحكة, باردة أزياء وتسجيل صوتيّ. واقعيّا, كان هو كثير مضحكة من توقّع أنا. [هه]. بعض الخير إقتباسات من هناك, [مثينكس]. أنا أيضا راقبت [جن] أوستين كتاب ناد, أيّ كان نقر [شكي] لذلك أنت تحتاج [ا بيت وف] صبر. [ا فو] [كتسي], لقم مضحكة مع ذلك. على الطريق إلى الخلف, راقب أنا فتى سحريّة, أيّ كان [كرب] جميلة غير أنّ أنا استمتعت ال [هك-فلفوورد] أشياء [كتسي]. أنا أفهم أنّ أشياء اجتماعيّة أكثر من أيّ شيء اجتماعيّة أنا أجمع في [نز]. حصّصت [إفن ثوو] أنا قد أنفقت كبيرة من حياتي هنا. أنا أيضا راقبت أكثر من محولات. أنا سأضطرّ راقبت النهاية بعض وقت, بما أنّ أنا [فلّ] نائمة. غير أنّ [ب] هو تماما لم ماذا أنا توقّعت. الفيلم كاملة [سلّ-هوموور] صحيحة, أيّ أنا لا أبالي [إإكسسبت ثت] هو رقص [دنجرووسل-كلوس] أن [ستثبيد-هوموور], مثل النوع أنت تجد في أفلام مراهقة أو عندما [ب] بعض شدادة سكرانة في زجاجة وأنّ افترضت أن يكون مضحكة. أنا [سبد-ليستند] إلى [ا فو] ألبومات, غير أنّ يشعر أنا بعد حقّا [أليسا] مفاتيح' بما أنّ أنا أكون. بطاقة إلى نفس, أنا يضطرّ حصلت بعض [إين-ر] سماعات.
وصول
[أرّرّرّرّرغه]!!! نجاح باهر - في [ل.]!!! [لوس نجلس]. حلوة! [ألّ وف ث] إثارة على ماذا يكذب صحيحة إلى ما بعد ال يعرف يمزج مع ذاكرات من ال [فيرست تيم]. هكذا يثير أن يكون طرقت قليلا من محور العجلة - لا تماما يوقن كيف أشياء يعملون, حيث أشياء يكونون…
بما أنّ نحن انتظرنا للمكوك أن يأتي, أذهلت أنا كان بالحقيقة أنا كنت في آخر بلد ثانية. أنا كان أذهلت بالمختلفة سيارات, بنايات, أشجار والناس… تقريبا ليس سماء مختلفة [إفن ثوو] أنا أعرف هو… أنا كان أذلّت بالنظرة على الناس وجوه عندما يعطيهم أنت ابتسام أصليّة, [أس يف] لعزم قد [كم ووت وف] هم هم خاصّة جلد. أنا أيضا [مرفلّد] في الطول, مع ذلك انتظام من مجموعة من أهداب زائفة المكوك منظمة تلقّى فوق. أنا تساءلت ما إذا كان هو قد [برين] بنفسي لعمل أو ما إذا هو كان اجتماع أحد ما.
أنا أفكّر نام أنا من خلال أكثر من العمليّة ركوب إلى [لونغ بش]. غير أنّ بما أنّ نحن وصلنا, ميّز أنا الشوارع وبنايات أنّ أنا كنت قد [سمي-إكسبلورد] يستعمل [غوغل] خرط. أنا أحبّ يتلقّى الماء قريبة لأنّ هو يعطيني [رفرنس بوينت] وأنا أشعر أكثر يتأهّب أن يستكشف. هو إحساس جيّدة. نحن فحصنا داخل الفندق وكان هو جيّدة أن يتلقّى [ا فو] ساعات صحيحة أن يعيد. أنا فرّغت داخل ساحبات متّسعة وخزانة, بعد ذلك يكتشف وابل مع اثنان [شوور-هدس] و[دووبل-ليند] ستار, شعر مكيف أنّ واقعيّا يعمل وسميكة, فوط [سمي-سفت] و [موست يمبورتنتلي], برنامج مع ذلك سرير متينة مع وسادات لانهائيّة, سميكة مع ذلك [سمي-ليغت] [دوفت] وصفاح هشّة. هكذا مقدس. رغم أنّ هو بعد لا حقّا يقارن إلى ي خاصّة سرير. [ب]
[إيي.]. هناك
[ث فيرست تيم]
نحن سجّلنا/يلتقط فوق مادّة خام وذهب إلى محادثات في ال غشاء علم طبيعة حيويّة [سوبغرووب] (قناة يمنع معدلات ومضمنات). كان يحصل [بك ينتو] اللغز العلم كثير يتيح من أنا يفكّر وسابقا أنا كان أخذ راحة في الحقيقة أنا استطاع اتّصلت مع [مك] دون أولى يضطرّ فكّرت, "الآن, كيف عمل شخص فسّر هذا?" بالمثل, عندما [ميت وب ويث] نحن [كس] في ال فتحة خلاط, كان هو جيّدة أن يكون يمكن أن يتحدّث بما أنّ أنا قد تحدّثت لسنة. صدمت أنا بعد الى حدّ بعيد في لما هذا يكون هكذا. أنا أيضا أتساءل [هوو موش] [س] قد غيّرني وكم أكثر هو يريد. أنا بعد أعلم أن يتحدّث اثنان عقود بعد كلمتي أولى. يتحدّث أنا منشار [مك] و [كس] مع زميلات مختلفة والناس يقدّمبنفسي إلى محادثة من ممكنة توصيلات وتعاونات. هو كان مثيرة ويسلّي… أنا أخمّن أنت استطاع قلت أنّ في أنّ مرحلة حقّق أنا تلقّى لم حتّى أنا كان قهرت - غير أنّ أنا كنت وأنا سعيدة أنا تلقّى أنّ اثنان هناك. أوقات لاحقة وغدا
بما أنّ أنا حضرت كثير جلسات ونظر في كثير ملصقات, بدأ أنا أن يدهن صورة من ما علم طبيعة حيويّة كان جميعا حوالي. أنا حاولت أن يشبك في [أثرس'] بحث للموضوع بنفسي, غير أنّ أيضا لأفكار أنّ يمكن كنت ترجمت أن "ي خاصّة" (يتلقّى "ي خاصّة" يشعر بحث بعد غريبة إلى ي). جذبت أنا كان أكثر إلى منهجيّة وتحريض [أس وبّوسد تو] الاستنتاجات حقيقيّة. أنا تساءلت ما إذا عكس هذا الإلتباس وغالبا [منينغلسّنسّ] الاستنتاجات أو ما إذا هو كشف شيء حول فائدتي في معرفة وعلم. أتمّ أنا يحبّ علم أو يتمّ أنا يحبّ معرفة? أنا أفكّر يحبّ أنا علم - بناية معرفة وماذا هو يستطيع كنت استعملت ل. [إين ني كس], رأى أنا [ا فو] مشاريع أنّ جعلني فكّرت حول مشروعي مقبلة في طرق جديدة. هم أيضا جعلواني فكّرت حوالي [بروبلم-سلفينغ] في طريق مختلفة قليلا.
أنا كنت جدّا مدركة أنّ أسّس أنا هو يصعب أن يفهم [ا لوت] من الناس عمل. ثانية, لم يعرف أنا ما إذا هو كان لأنّ هم مصّوا أو أنا مصصت. على الأرجح [ا بيت وف] كلا, بما أنّ أنا لست أنّ [فميلير ويث] ال [ويد-رنج] التقنيات ومقاربة إلى [بروبلم-سلفينغ]. أنا أعني, أنا يخمّن أنّ يكون لما أنا أكون هنا. غير أنّ أنا يضطرّ اعترفت أنا قليلا يخيّب أنّ ليس عالمات دوليّة مستوية جيّدة أو أكثر منتبهة نحو ال اتّصال من بحثهم . ثانية, الناس الذي لا يضع هذا جهد داخل يستطيع ببساطة لا يتلقّى الحق أن يشتكي هم أسءت في مؤسساتهم, بل ال [جنرل بوبليك]. أنا لا أقول أنّ لا يأخذ هو اثنان إلى [تنغو] مع ذلك. بعد, [إفن يف] الناس ليسوا راغبة في اتّصال لاتّصال خاطر (أنا يستطيع لا حقّا فهمت أنّ), بعد ذلك هم ينبغي بعد كنت راغبة في يموّل. ويموّل هكذا متدلّية على ضغطة عامّة, [أس ولّ س] مجتمعة قيمة على عقل وتربية.
صندوق 1: علم, [أونسونغ] بطلة
أنا أجد ال يستمرّ [ديسنترست] في علم و فكرة بشكل خاصّ ينذر في ال [أوس]. أنا قلت أنّ لا يفهم كثير الناس في ال [أوس] المفهوم العلم, بل وثقت هو [أر فن] عرفت ماذا هو قد أسّس. المناقشة مع تطور وتصميم ذكيّة ضخمة, يغذّي ينمو اهتمام حول النوعية التربية أطفالهم يكون يحصلون. هذا [أن توب وف] الحقيقة أنّ انقسمت ال [أوس] داخل 15,000 فرديّة مدرسة مناطق.
كان في محادثة مع أحد ما أنا جدّا أحترم, الإحباط جلّيّة عندما يصف مجتمعة نفور ظاهرة من أيّ شيء بشدّة. أنا أخمّن هو حول يجد طريق أن يشبك طالبات [لونغ نوو] [س ثت] هم يكونون يمكن أن يحصل [كلوسر تو] إنجاز. ما إن أنت تشعر ماذا هو يعني أن يحقّق شيء, أو يحصل من خلال شيء يستعصي, ينظر أنت أبدا إلى الخلف. نفسانيات يقولون أنّ افتقار التحريض يستطيع كنت واجبة إلى افتقار الاحترام الذات. أو يكون هو أنّ الناس يكون لا يفهم نزاهة? يذهب [ألّ ث] طريق مع خيط الأفكار في حياة صحيحة مثل مهمّة بما أنّ يتبع كلّيّا في [نتبلّ] لعبة.
أنا أذهب أن يضطرّ [كرّي ون] مع هذا صندوق في آخر موقعة, مع فكرة بارعة الأشياء أنّ [إي/وو] يستطيع أتمّت أن يساعد الحالة من علم… رفض, يفكّر.
هناك كان [ا فو] محادثات أنّ حصلني حقّا يثار حول يكون جزء العلم ويكون جزء من مجموعة أنّ يكون هكذا متمّمة إلى قيمي. [ا لوت] من مهاراتي بذرات صحيحة إن أيّ شيء في كلّ وأنا أكون صحيحة لذلك يثير أن يرى ماذا أنا يستطيع جعلت من هم. ال يعلم ويعلم, يفكّر ويشارك, يعرف ويشعر, يختبر ويلاحظ - يبدو كلّ أن يصفبنفسي [أس ولّ س] علم. أنا أخمّن ي عمل حاليّا إختبارات ما إذا أنا يستطيع شعرت هذا انجذاب ل [سمثينغ لس]. ماذا أنا أشعر مع المختبرة مجموعة يصحّ? واقعيّا, لعزم فكّر [إي] ربّما أنّ هذا مجموعة كان فريدة وعندما أنا أترك ل آخر, أنا لم يهتمّ ل "علم" مثل كثير. أنا لا أعرف, غير أنّ أنا إلى حدّ ما واثقة أنّ إن أنّ يحدث, أنا ساكنة سأتلقّى اتّجاه في حياتي , بما أنّ أنا دائما أتلقّى.
مهما كان, كتب أنا عدّة أشياء إلى أسفل أنّ أنا أحتاج أن ينظر فوق وعدّة أشياء أنا أحتاج أن يتمّ. أكون أنا جيّدة بكفاية? أنا سأكون يمكن أن يحسن? أنا فقط سمعت أستاذة [رندي] [بوسكه] قلت أنّ أنت يضطرّ دلّلت تغذية مرتدّة وقد أتمّ إنتقاد لأنّ هو يكون عندما أنت تعرف أنت شيء متوسّطة/مثير للشفقة و [نو-ون] يقول أنت أنّ أنت سوفت أقلقت - لأنّ هم قد أعطوا فوق. أنا تماما أوافق وهو شيء أنا أقلق حوالي كثيرا.
الملصقة و[سترستروك] قصة
كان ملصقتي يوم الأحد ملصقة وأنا تأهّبت هو من 2:45 إلى 4:30 بعد الظّهر. أنا لا أعرف [هوو مني] الناس رأوا لا يتذكّر هو وأنا [هوو مني] الناس سألوا ي أسئلة, غير أنّ ماذا كان هو, أنا أردت أكثر. غير أنّ يفكّر أنا أنا أصبحت لقمة أيضا يشغل مع هذا مهمة, لأنّ أنا لم أحصل [ا لوت وف تيم] أن يفحص الأخرى ملصقات في صنفي. أنّ لقمة يضأيق لأنّ أنّ كان القسم أنّ تلقّى أنا الفرص [هيغست] من يفهم.
أنا حصلت فرصة إلى مجال خارجا بعض من الالناس الذي اسم أنا أميّز. أنّ كان إلى حدّ ما باردة [, ثوو] أنا يستطيع قلت أنّ لا يقارن هو إلى [ث فيرست تيم] أنا أسّس ورقة ب [كس] ويلاحظ (أنا أعرف, أنا هكذا [أبسرفنت]) أنّ هو كان فقط نزولا إلى القاعة. أنا أتذكّر يقوله هذا قريبا عقب وبدا هو نوع من يفاجئ/يسلّي في ردّ فعلي - أنا أخمّن هو تلقّى لم [ب] مدركة كيف جاهلة أنا كان اعتبرت كيف علم واقعيّا عمل. أنا غالبا أتساءل ما إذا كان حالت جهلي على تكافؤ مع المعدّلة ثاني سنة لامتخرّجة. مهما كان, ملصقة كان يوم لقمة أيضا يحثّ ل ي - أنا كنت قد تحدّثت كثيرا, يلتقى [ا لوت] الالناس ويعلم [ا لوت] الأشياء أنا أبدا تخيّلت يعرف. هكذا أنهى أنا فوق في سرير ب 9 بعد الظّهر - يعدّ جلست يرفع (100, 101…) ورفس, يفكّر حول اليوم, يشعر قلقة ويثير ويحقّق أنّ لم يأكل أنا تلقّى منذ 6:30 بعد الظّهر الليلة من قبل. لا أنّ افتقد أنا كان كثير بخصوص ذوق عظيمة.
كلّ أنا يضطرّ قلت, يوميّة يحقّق أنا أنا أغيّر. في طرق أنا يستطيع بصعوبة تنبّأت.
طعام وأعشية
طعام في ال [أوس] بشكل ملاحظ كبيرة في أجزاء وعاليا في دهن. نعم, نعم. كلّ أنا ذوق شحم دهن. يسكّر [أه] آسفة, نعم, أيضا وملّح. أنا ذكرت شحم دهن? [أه], بئر أنت يستطيع ذقت هو برائحة [إفن يف] أنت تحاول أن يتفادى يأكل هو. الاضطراب مع شحم دهن أنّ يجعل هو أنت أردت كثير شحم دهن وبنزاهة, ياغورت جيّدة لا حقّا يقارن إلى سندويش لحم ريّانة. غير أنّ ليس هو مثل أنا أكون أذهب أن يترك [ا فو] أيام في ال [أوس] يدمّر [سلف-بود-يمج] ي جديدة و- تقدير. [سلف-كنترول] مفتاح.
كان أعشية في ال [أوس] عظيمة! أنا استمتعت [ألّ ث] محادثات وضحك… قبل الظّهر خصوصا مستحقّ إعجاب من الشركة. هو صحيحة أنّ يتمّ الناس لا تلقّيت أنفقت أن يكون لطيف إلى ي (أو أيّ شخص), وقت مع ي, يساعدني… [أند ت] يتمّ هم, أنت تعرف? I'm very grateful for that and very aware of what it takes to get along with me. At the same time (and sort of unrelated to this trip, but nonetheless it's brought up now), I realise that some people associate with me for their own benefits. I am still unsure how to deal with this, as I am still going through the motions of being hurt and embarrassed. I don't even know that I need to be more protective, as that type of change would be an insult to my own integrity. Do you think? I am unsure. I had a few good conversations with MC and CS (separately) and I often wonder what they think. Maybe the day I figure this out will be the day I know I'm ready to graduate. Or something.
I went to the Graduate Breakfast, which was ok but I thought it was not very well organised. Met some nice people, though not as many as I had expected. Some people were more friendly than others.
III. Coming Down
Aquarium of the Pacific
So the aquarium is NOT the gigantic structure with sea-life painted all over it. No, it is the other building, three blocks away, that has no animals printed on it whatsoever. Brilliant. Anyway, I really like museums, galleries and collections of that nature, so I was quite enthusiastic about this visit and especially with MC there, who would know lots of izzle to complement the sights. Anyway, the aquarium was very pretty I admit, but lacking in information associated with the displays. That is also ok I guess, since I can look up information later.
BOX 2: I'm Creature, I'm Earth, My Mother, My Birth
What really got to me was learning about the distress of the animals, the damage that is brought down upon their habitats and how little anyone cares. Here are beautiful creatures and plants - silent against a backdrop of screaming children running around teachers who seem nonchalant about enriching their students' minds, let alone bringing forth a sense of social and environmental responsibility. There is a curiosity in living things, in our surroundings and how it all works that is crushed by peer pressure.
Ashamedly, I do recall that I used to be very passionate about my dolphins, whales and environment (I was never into horses, excuse me =P). But somehow that got lost. Maybe it was because I made that speech about the environment that was 2 minutes too long and everyone rolled their eyes at me. Maybe it was because I moved onto college and school-work took over my life. Maybe I just cared less. I don't know. I still have my posters, drawings and books. Hm. Sometimes I feel so apathetic. Am I? Have I become what I promised myself not to become? Anyway, I need a few days to downsize a few videos I took. They will be posted soon.
Shoreline Village There was a free afternoon on Wednesday that I spent walking along the waterfront. I like doing that and it feels familiar to me, like the waterfront in Wellington or Auckland. I walked as far as the beach and turned into the city. Again, a stranger nodded hello and walked on by. I am not sure why I am seeing a more friendly side of Long Beach than people have been telling me. That's my shadow in the photo there. I also managed to see Shoreline Village at night later on and that was really cool. I love roaming around, seeing and trying new things, talking to locals, breathing the air... And at night, it's a totally different experience.
The Way Back
I guess I was sorta sad and very tired on the flight back. I guess it ended too soon, but I feel motivated, inspired and very much grateful and humbled over where I am and what I have.
IV. Summary
I'm back on Earth, but maybe I have changed again. I have a warm feeling in my stomach that rises up suddenly like bubbles and I can't help but smile. Sometimes it's released as a giggle or even a laugh, but who cares what other people think? I am grateful for the people I have around me and the opportunities I have. There is still uncertainty over what I can do, what will become of me, but I have a much stronger sense of who I am now. I feel so ready to step up and I think I have made that mental move. A little more focussed, a little more alive.
Oh, I've started reading "The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold. :) I have recently read "The Chinese Room" by Vivian Connell, which I thought was pretty good. I don't know if I mentioned, but I also read "As You Thinketh" by James Allen and "Concepts of the Self" by Anthony Elliot. The latter was pretty good. The former, not so good. I've also read this paper produced by HP regarding the use of Facebook. Ok to dull paper. Been thinking about ICTs in the workplace and society. Have downloaded some papers on science and education, research-related stuff. I want to hit the ground running. But I have to remember why I am here. I need to learn to drive!!!
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| February 10, 2008 | 5:45 PM |
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