Hey all, sorry for the lack of updates. I am very busy and extremely tired, but generally very happy because I'm learning and trying new things. So, don't worry. =)
Driving lessons: have had 3. Pretty exciting.
Wellington Dragonboat Festival: the corporate race is next Sat 15 March - pretty exciting.
Speaking to WGC next week about Uni and Science: pretty exciting.
Work: my ideas are coming into fruition - so I'm pretty excited and nervous at the same time. My performance says something about me, that's obvious, but equally importantly, it reflects the person who recommended me. The slightly annoying things is that I seem to be asked for ideas/opinions on a million things and responsible for several concurrent projects. I expected to receive more hands - actual people to help me
do things, not just direct me to how I can do it myself. Sure, the latter is helpful, but I just don't have enough hours in the day to do it all. And to be honest, my time is probably better spent thinking of ideas, how they'll work and communicating them to people. If I have to spend too much time executing, that's time lost for me to relay those visions to someone else before I leave. In any case, it's not really my decision. And if the company doesn't have the infrastructure or personnel to execute at this time or work with me, we'll just have to put that in place before I leave. Also, I feel like I have changed here. I feel like this little community has a place inside me that I hadn't really felt move before. I don't know what it is and I don't have a name for it.
10,000 steps challenge: pretty cool idea! I've practiced for 4 days - starts Mon 10 March. I'm not in the IT team, for some reason. But a good chance to meet the HSE people. =) It also helps that I'm biking and running quite a bit. I can't wait to do a half marathon.
TA/WGC project: brainstorming/starting is pretty exciting. I'm worried that I won't have much time to devote to it, but I feel confident about the people who have committed to this. So I think it'll be alright and I think it's a great thing that's happening.
Paper editing/submission: fully fully excited about it and hope it happens. It's sort of weird that Uni seems so far away now. Even that feeling of painfully wanting to go back to the lab seems to have faded. Don't get me wrong, I'm still quite aware that it is still what I want to do, but all of the feelings seem to have merged with some fantasy land that I know doesn't exist. I think that's good because then I won't go back with those glorified expectations. Maybe this is what I'm learning.
Insomnia?: I've slipped into my insomniac habits of waking up at 4 AM and not being able to get back to sleep for a good hour or so. So I'm getting very little and very disrupted sleep. I am tired. And when I'm getting a longer period of sleep, I am having very strange dreams. I can still remember some of them and the content is bizarre with non-existent morality or any grounding on reality. It's a little bit troubling and yet completely intriguing that my mind would conjure up such behaviour.
Relationships: I've had some recent feelings/thoughts about relationships. There's one in which I feel lied to, but that perhaps the lie serves both parties advantages, so that maybe it's ok. Nonetheless, it's still an insult to my intelligence that they should lie to me. There's another in which I feel like I should be able to trust openly, but I don't because of a suspicious feeling that won't go away and because of certain things that this person does that makes me feel judged all the time. So is it just me or am I warranted? I should trust my gut instincts more...
I've also been thinking about long-term relationships or marriage and having to learn to fall in love with your partner constantly because people change. I find that really interesting and peculiar. I wonder how people do it and what the motivation is.
