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Microsoft Regional Innovative Students' Forum 2009
About this event: Microsoft Regional Innovative Teachers' Forum
Related to country: Malaysia
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

It's over, it's over. :( Luckily, I still have my reflections before I pop this bubble and breathe reality's air again.

Disclaimer: ~ 5 hrs sleep for ~ 7 consecutive nights didn't lend to real-time blogging, as I intended. But you know I'm more of a retro-blogger... Anyway, you have been warned: (1) This is long; (2) I am crazy; (3) Pick and mix - the bits you skip won't cry - I promise; (4) the Boxes are tangents. Hell, I feel like a tangent at times. :P

BACKGROUND

This was the 5th Asia-Pacific Microsoft Regional Innovative Teachers’ Conference, with participants from New Zealand, Philippines, Korea, Vietnam, Singapore, Indonesia and Malaysia, to name a few. It was sponsored by Microsoft Corporation, with support from the Ministry of Education Malaysia, UNESCO and TakingITGlobal.org (TIG), to bring together teachers from Asia-Pacific to showcase innovative approaches to teaching that involve technology. The teacher attendees were chosen within their own countries as the best (don't ask me about this process, I don't know) and presented posters throughout the short Teachers' Forum (2 days) to each other and to a panel of judges who graded using the following criteria: level of innovation, effect on student participation and involvement, extent of student autonomy, relevant use of technology, in the context of available resources (e.g. funds, equipment, skill and connectivity). One winner from each country will have the privilege of competing at the global Teachers’ Forum in Brazil in November.

This year is the first time that Student Voices have been present at this region’s forum. Though it may seem like an obvious idea, its acceptance requires a leap from many educators, particularly in areas where education is still highly disciplinary and learning is assumed with teaching. TIG played a key role in finding and engaging students who would best represent the student body of the Asia-Pacific region. Students were invited to participate in online discussions over a period of ~ 3 weeks to discuss the state of education in their countries, as well as ideas about what the ideal or the future of education may look like (cf. Student Voices 20051). 15 students were chosen to attend a ‘Student Forum’ (ISF09) that occurred alongside and at the same venue (Le Meridien) as the Teachers' Forum, immersing the students in ~ 4 days of intense development and voice.

THE ISF09 PROGRAMME included:

  • discussion with local students about education: 57 students from a local KL school (who had to write an exam immediately following the meeting!) met with the student delegates and answered questions about education in groups for about 2 hours - I thought this was a good idea, at least to get more students thinking about their education and for them to know that this sort of work goes on "behind the scenes"
  • brainstorming workshop by Bernise Ang and Shaun Koh of Syinc.org: a session to help the students think more deeply about issues surrounding education and what they can do to help inspire change - I thought this was timely, especially since all of the student delegates had already talked a lot about their ideas online and it was a great time to explore them a bit more deeply and to think about their ideas in more realistic terms
  • presentation by Joel Neoh on entrepreneurship: he shares his experiences and thoughts after winning Malaysia's version of The Apprentice, 'The Firm', modelling and co-founding YouthSays.com, Malaysia's largest for-profit network of youth opinion - sort of like what 18tracker was, bu obviously better model since they have a larger contact base and also hold real events to retain and attract new members) - I think his "for-profit" model turned a lot of the students off, but nevertheless I thought it was very clever of him to harness the power of a contact list - he is obviously a very resourceful person and pragmatic about what he wants.
  • presentation and personal help by Brian Lariche on project management: Brian shares his experiences as a teacher/tutor, working with NGOs and life in general! He generously gave up his time to come back and give priceless one-on-one advice and support to the students' projects - Brian is a very interesting person, who is generous with his time and opinions - I would have liked to battle some of the topics that were raisedt if I had not felt that I might have overshadowed the students' opportunity.
  • student projects: students were given time and mentorship to brainstorm and present their ideas for improving an aspect of education through use of technology. The aim was to submit these projects for a chance to receive funding from a pool of USD5000, provided by Microsoft. These 'Micro-Grants' are intended to give the students a taste of what it takes to develop, plan and execute projects on a small scale and more importantly, provides an opportunity for their models to be tested before application for further funding and expansion. On top of this prize pool, there was also the opportunity to win free enrolment into TIG's e-course 'Sprout' for youth professional development - I think these projects were the most enjoyable part of the forum for the students - they felt like they were contributing something. However, with perspective, these will just be small stepping stones and I hope the students will remember lessons from side-conversations in years to come, as I will, no doubt.
  • student-teacher interaction: a formal session for students to address teachers was provided, as well as informal gatherings during poster presentations and breaks - to be frank, I don't think there was enough opportunity for the students and teachers to talk. Even at the Gala Dinner, I felt that the student presence was being side-lined. However, I realise that this is the first time students has been at this forum and I think it was a good first effort. Hopefully, it will continue to grow in creative ways in the future.
  • mentors and TIG staff: to help enable Student Voices on the ground, Michael Furdyk (co-founder and Director of Technology of TIG), Kat Walraven (Education Program Manager, TIG), along with 3 mentors, Bernise Ang, Shaun Koh and I basically tailed the students at every waking hour. :P Although the 3 mentors were initially designated 3 groups of students, I found that we all got along so well, it was basically one big happy group - I very much enjoyed observing and learning from this interesting group of people, with amazing skills and ideas. I only wish that I had more time with each of them to talk about our thoughts and experiences!!! I think at this age, it is difficult to find people who you connect with because everyone is moving in their own directions so rapidly. I thought we all got along extremely well.

PERSONAL OBSERVATIONS

Projects and Hope

In my opinion, the one theme that resonates with all of the student project ideas is equality. The students wanted others to receive the same opportunities they had/have, regardless of their socio-economic status, locality, teacher/school system or temporal-residency. I made this last term up to describe some students’ focus on sustainable development and ecological preservation, which in essence ensures that future generations have the same opportunities as we do.

Observing young people of diverse background/opportunity share a unified desire for equality makes me think about all of the families, teachers and communities that are successfully teaching (instructing and demonstrating) compassion. I think that the ability to place ourselves in others' shoes is a fundamental ingredient in achieving sustainability. However, teaching compassion is not easy, particularly when basic selfishness is confused with greed, and when young people are difficult to reach. I imagine thin golden threads wavering from a small child’s inner eye, attracted to and caught by larger threads that are coloured and tarnished from experience. Each cable can spark a connection that transfers love, understanding and knowledge. Together, all of the cables caress and shape this child's potential. However, the ability to spark is contextual and each community needs to establish and understand its own values and find its own way in engaging its youth and citizens. Without this, no community or society has a positive future (Box 1).

Box 1:

Building Communities

Of course, not only are cultural behaviours important, societies must also reconsider its behaviours that are biologically suicidal. For example, if we continue to pummel through our limited resources, then we are essentially killing our chances of survival. I don't really want to go into all of the arguments about 'climate change', but I think the basic idea of sustainable development makes sense. See, perhaps, Jared Diamond's Collapse: How Societies Choose To Fail Or Succeed. I have yet to read this, but have heard Diamond talk about it when he visited the University of Auckland a few years ago.

Society is More than The Sum of the Individuals

I was staring at the night-scape of Kuala Lumpur, marvelling at the lights when I suddenly saw that we can solve everything by understanding each other, so that we are able to unite our individual efforts. The problem is engagement and one can only spark passion in others by first understanding the way they view the world. For example, it would be ideal to reduce the number of city lights turned on at night to reduce power consumption. However, lighting is considered important for safety (though the validity of this is disputed in some places), so basically, we need to reduce crime. To stop raising criminals, we need equal distribution of resources and responsible communities that work to raise children together. We need more holistic/inclusive thinking/planning, for example, using ramps instead of short escalators, adjustable thermostats, smarter water cycling. The narrow thinking evident in various facets of society may be a result of an education system where the world is arbitrarily segregated and consumed in a well-pre-processed manner. Where are our integrators? Where are our high NA lenses with large fields of view?

Youth

I have learned a lot from each individual of our 20-strong crew. Every person was interesting, with their own talents, idiosyncracies, ways of thinking, stories and passions. I think one characteristic that defines youthfulness is agility. They are open-minded and open-hearted. They are eager to learn and unafraid to be optimistic.

I enjoyed observing: their faces light up at the chance to talk about their passions, at the making of new friends, at the seeding and germination of new ideas; their features break into smiles and laughter at wit, irony and fun; their eyebrows furrow at difficult concepts, tight deadlines and lack of sleep. I watched the TIG team work: listening to the students and offering insightful/motivating suggestions and stories when necessary, while I tried to do the same. I was inspired by everyone’s dedication and rapid connection with each other - TIG continues to catalyse precipitation of like-minded youths. =P

My favourite moments were the one-on-one conversations. I hope I imparted some useful "wisdom", but at the same time clear that I am learning, too - I don't claim to know everything, if anything! If only I had more time to get to know everyone and learn about their stories and ideas, not just about education.

"Night, Field of stars above us. You pick one, we frame it with our fingers intertwined. Seeds, of every generation, between our hands and I promise to teach you the little I have learned, So far..." Seeds, Brooke Fraser

I am so excited about what these young people may experience. Many of them are moving through school and entering college and indeed, the world, with a lot of hope. They will face challenges and disappointments and I would like to be a source of support and friendship, if they will let me. But already, I feel that this experience has been a privilege, for I am young, too. I am excited about my future, too.

Box 2:

West Vs. East

There may be an interesting and not necessarily sharp contrast between students schooled in Eastern and Western countries. Of course, this is not surprising if you listen to stereotypes, but it should surprising if you consider that most, if not all, of the education systems and curricula in South-East Asia are based on Western (e.g. Cambridge) systems. This leads me to yet another rant about community values (Box 1), where the culture of school and wider communities (including upbringing), more than the school system itself, shapes a child's attitudes towards formal education. No doubt, the lack of formal credit towards non-academic endeavours will also play a role in student motivation, but this are also reflect community values. I am always ranting about values, simply because I don't think many people know what their own are and why.

As a group, I was impressed with their diligence, aptitude and dedication in listening and completing tasks to a high standard. But they also giggled and whispered during boring presentations and you knew when they lost respect for someone. I would really like to dispel the myth that all Asian students possess an academic advantage. In all of the students that perform well, I think the common theme is that education is held in high esteem. They have been taught that only a sound education will allow them to get ahead, get out of poverty, realise their dreams, in life. Not just a pass or a piece of paper, but a good education. It is not just the family unit either, it is the entire nation - yes, I am actually saying that NZ does not value intellect as a nation. It doesn't. It seems like even intellectual people put themselves down or try to prove themselves by excelling in a lot of other areas. Do the same pressures fall on sports people? I think the tell-tale sign is to ask children what they think are cool or worthwhile - they are the values of that society, hmm?

Honesty

Most of the teachers and students at these conferences have English as their second language. Though it is a barrier for participation, I think it enables honesty. I guess it is a balance between being able to express yourself and being able to spin your expression. I am profoundly attracted to honesty.

Teachers and Students Students wanted their teachers to listen to them and respect their questions and suggestions. Students wanted mentors, not instructors - guided autonomy? Students liked teachers who are able to admit their mistakes/weakneses and try to improve them. Most students already have information at their fingertips - they need help digesting it. Students have lots of ideas - they need help formulating it against existing knowledge and presenting it in a logical manner.

OTHER 'FIRSTS' AND NOTES

La Malaysians and Singaporeans end their sentences with 'la', a lot. It is interesting as a rapport-creating rhetorical device, blah blah blah - but you know what is MORE interesting about it? It is the perfect platform to launch into song, e.g. "Don't worry, la... la la la la la la....l-l-l-l-la x 2.... LA..LA..LA...heee taught me hooooow toooo waaash...." (Oh Happy Day, Sister Act) Icecream Teppanyaki Icecream + toppings + chopping = good, nutritious meal. Video here (2x speed). Fish on Feet

Dr. Fish were in the house (Central Markets) and for NZD2.5, they entertained me for 10 mins. I think they enjoyed it, too (see image - that is one content fish). YouTube video (warning: squealing).

Serama - Smallest Chickens in the World

A tiny chicken, it's true! OK, at first I was sad (because they had strange posture and vocals, see video), but they are a naturally-occurring species, which means they are less likely to have problems associated with breeding (e.g. pure-bred dogs).

Batik Painting

(1) Pencil; (2) wax; (3) water-colour; (4) remove wax. Stoked I got to try it. Trying is always a win. Movies On Planes

  • Last Chance Harvey: bad script + good actors = still bad movie.
  • The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: interesting idea - creativity = moving Brad Pitt gallery = still boring.
  • I Am Sam: interesting story + great acting (except Michelle Pfeiffer's dramatic scene) = balling eyes out on the plane = good. Being moved is always a win.

Flying Saw another plane flying by while in our Boeing... first time EVER!!! Wow, it was so fast - I knew but never grasped visually how fast it was until now. And for the first time, I noticed our plane's shadow and enjoyed watching us meeting it on the ground and seeing how fast our land speed was (ignoring the movement of the sun and our approach to the ground, etc.). Image shows tail of the other plane (bright streak) - I was too slow to capture the plane itself - and video shows the shadow. Things in a Box/Game of Things

Great game that we played after a night at the pool. Great introduction by Kat! Will remember for the future. Also thought of a PostSecret game we could have played. Oh well, next time.

The Circle So at the beginning of this trip, I was pondering about the self. I think Brian Lariche sums it up very well:
If you will think about what you ought to do for other people, your character will take care of itself. Character is a by-product, and any man who devotes himself to its cultivation in his own case will become a selfish person.
I suppose things like this are supposed to be transient. The precipitate is created and then shaken into solution again to maximise the surface area for reaction.

June 1, 2009 | 8:06 AM Comments  0 comments
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Long Beach, California
Related to country: United States
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Crap-doozles, I just had a quick squiz over my 2008 postings and boy have they been dense. Sorry, mates - must have been a bit too absorbed in the mind. WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN ME!!!! =P Anyway, onto the LB of the CA, the B-phys for the scien-tists... I should be a rapper. I'm finding it hard to filter at the moment, so I'll just do a mind-dump and try highlight the more interesting parts. Anyway, for those who don't know or can't remember - the Biophysical Society has an annual meeting for biophysicists around the world to communicate their research. This year, I was lucky enough to be sponsored by my lab group (warm fuzzies) to go present the research I did last year. Yes, "research I did" still cracks me up.

I. Anticipating

Waiting and Delays

Arriving monstrously early at Wlg airport means spending a monstrous number of hours in a place with nothing to do. Fortunately, I was in an extremely agreeable mood, so I thought nothing of it. I don't mind delays, either, as long as they don't interfere with my schedule. I can entertain myself just fine, thank you.

What did touch a few nerves was "we are late for departure due to the plane's late arrival." What does that statement even achieve except for try to blame someone else? Weird.

The Walk

Jeremy Clarkson does not speak highly of the walk between Auckland domestic and international airports. His description would have me think that someone was forcing him to run a marathon with his luggage... uphill... and on one leg. It was actually very short, very easy and very bland. Poor Clarkson. I'll still read his books though, coz he's damn funny.

To Gate 10 and a little Paranoid Story

Barely able to contain the excitement bubbling just under my skin, I made a beeline for Gate 10 (AKL --> LAX), where MC was already. At first I couldn't find him, so that entertained the idea that the entire conference-poster-paper thing is a conspiracy to bring me down before I can build on a reputation and/or career. Similar to my work scenario right now, where giving me huge responsibility and potential to direct change is just a setup to watch me crash and burn. No matter, because I get kicks from a huge potential fall and I don't really think these people are hating on me. =P It's just me self-doubting - why me? Why would they want me?

It was cool to see MC, although I was quite aware that I would have to be very careful about how annoying I am!!! TK is always kindly reminding me of how annoying I am from HK to AKL. Thanks. I don't personally think I'm that annoying, but hey I respect the opinions of others and I don't want to annoy MC.

Boarding and Flying

Board! Board! Board! So excited. MC recommended The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert. Quite funny, cool costumes and soundtrack. Actually, it was much funnier than I expected. Heh. Some good quotes from there, methinks. I also watched The Jane Austin Book Club, which was a chicky flick so you need a bit of patience. A few cutesy, funny bits though.

On the way back, I watched Magic Boy, which was pretty crap but I enjoyed the HK-flavoured cutesy things. I understand those social things more than any social thing I gather in NZ. Even though I have spent a larger portion of my life here. I also watched most of Transformers. I will have to watch the ending some time, since I fell asleep. But it totally wasn't what I expected. The whole film is just silly-humour, which I don't mind except that it danced dangerously-close to stupid-humour, like the type you find in teen movies or when some drunk guy pees in a bottle and that's supposed to be funny.

I sped-listened to a few albums, but I'm still really feeling Alicia Keys' As I Am. Note to self, I have to get some in-ear earphones.

Arrival

AAAAARRRRRRRRRGHH!!! WOW - in L.A.!!! LOS ANGELES. Sweet! All of the excitement over what lies just beyond the known mixing with memories from the first time. So thrilling to be knocked slightly off axle - not completely sure how things work, where things are...

As we waited for the shuttle to come, I was amazed by the fact I was in another country again. I was amazed by the different cars, buildings, trees and people... almost a different sky even though I know it is not... I was humbled by the look on people's faces when you give them a genuine smile, as if for a moment they have come out of their own skin. I also marvelled at the length, yet uniformity of a set of false eyelashes the shuttle organiser had on. I wondered whether she had preened herself for work or whether she was meeting someone.

I think I slept through most of the ride to Long Beach. But as we arrived, I recognised the streets and buildings that I had semi-explored using Google Maps. I like having the water nearby because it gives me a reference point and I feel more ready to explore. It's a good feeling.

We checked into the hotel and it was good to have a few hours just to recharge. I unpacked into roomy drawers and cupboard, then discovered a shower with two shower-heads and a double-lined curtain, hair conditioner that actually works and thick, semi-soft towels and most importantly, a soft yet firm bed with endless pillows, thick yet semi-light duvet and crisp sheets. So heavenly. Although it still doesn't really compare to my own bed. =P

II. There

The First Time

We registered/picked up stuff and went to talks in the Membrane Biophysics Subgroup (Channel Gating Modifiers and Modulators). Getting back into the language of science was much easier than I thought and already I was taking comfort in the fact I could communicate with MC without first having to think, "now, how would a business person interpret this?" Likewise, when we met up with CS at the Opening Mixer, it was good to be able to talk as I have talked for a year. I am still quite shocked at why this is so. I also wonder how much CE has changed me and how much more it will. I am still learning to talk two decades after my first word.

I saw MC and CS talk with various colleagues and people introducing themselves to talk of potential connections and collaborations. It was exciting and amusing... I guess you could say that at that stage I hadn't even realised I was overwhelmed - but I was and I'm glad I had those two there.

Subsequent Times and Tomorrow

As I attended more sessions and looked at more posters, I began to paint a picture of what Biophysics was all about. I tried to engage in others' research for the subject itself, but also for ideas that may be translated to 'my own' (having 'my own' research still feels weird to me). I was more attracted to methodology and motivation as opposed to the actual conclusions. I wondered whether this reflected the ambiguity and often meaninglessness of conclusions or whether it revealed something about my interest in knowledge and science. Do I like science or do I like knowledge? I think I like science - building knowledge and what it can be used for. In any case, I saw a few projects that made me think about my future project in new ways. They also made me think about problem-solving in a slightly different way.

I was very aware that I found it difficult to understand a lot of people's work. Again, I didn't know whether it was because they sucked or I sucked. Probably a bit of both, since I am not that familiar with the wide-range of techniques and approaches to problem-solving. I mean, I guess that is why I am here. But I have to admit I am a little disappointed that international level scientists are not better or more attentive towards the communication of their research. Again, people who do not put this effort in can simply not have the right to complain they are misunderstood in their institutions, let alone the general public. I'm not saying that it doesn't take two to tango though. Still, even if people aren't interested in communication for communication's sake (I can't really understand that), then they must still be interested in funding. And funding is so dependent on public pressure, as well as society's value on intellect and Education.

BOX 1: Science, The Unsung Hero I find the continuing disinterest in science and thought particularly alarming in the US. I am told that many people in the US do not understand the concept of science, let alone trust it or even know what it has founded. The debate with evolution and intelligent design is huge, feeding growing concern about the quality of education their children are getting. This is on top of the fact that the US is split into 15,000 individual school districts. In a conversation with someone I highly respect, the frustration was evident when describing society's apparent aversion from anything hard. I guess it's about finding a way to engage students long enough so that they are able to get closer to achievement. Once you feel what it means to achieve something, or get through something hard, you never look back. Psychologists say that lack of motivation can be due to lack of self-esteem. Or is it that people are not understanding integrity? Going all the way with a string of thoughts in life is just as important as following through in a netball game. I'm going to have to carry on with this box in another post, with a brainstorm of things that I/you can do to help the case of science...no, thinking.

There were a few talks that got me really excited about being a part of science and being part of a group that is so complementary to my values. A lot of my skills are just seeds if anything at all and I am just so excited to see what I can make of them. The learning and teaching, thinking and sharing, knowing and feeling, testing and observing - all seem to describe myself as well as science. I guess my work right now tests whether I can feel this affinity for something else. Is what I feel with the lab group true? Actually, for a moment I thought perhaps that this group was unique and when I leave for another, I wouldn't care for 'science' as much. I don't know, but I am pretty confident that if that happens, I will still have direction in my life, as I always have.

Anyway, I wrote several things down that I need to look up and several things I need to do. Am I good enough? Will I be able to improve? I just heard Professor Randy Pausch say that you have to cherish feedback and critique because it's when you know you've done something mediocre/pathetic and no-one is telling you that you should worry - because they have given up. I completely agree and it is something I worry about a lot.

The Poster and a Starstruck Story

My poster was a Sunday poster and I stood by it from 2:45 to 4:30 PM. I don't know how many people saw it and I don't remember how many people asked me questions, but whatever it was, I wanted more. But I think I became a bit too preoccupied with this task, because I didn't get a lot of time to examine the other posters in my category. That's a bit annoying because that would have been the section that I had the highest chances of understanding.

I did get a chance to scope out some of the people whose names I recognise. That was pretty cool, though I can say that it doesn't compare to the first time I found a paper by CS and noted (I know, I am so observant) that he was just down the hall. I remember telling him this soon after and he seemed sort of surprised/amused at my reaction - I guess he hadn't been aware how ignorant I was regarding how science actually worked. I often wonder whether my ignorance was on par with the average second year undergraduate.

Anyway, poster day was a bit too stimulating for me - I'd talked a lot, met a lot of people and learnt a lot of things I never imagined knowing. So I ended up in bed by 9 PM - counting sit ups (100, 101...) and kicks, thinking about the day, feeling anxious and excited and realising that I hadn't eaten since 6:30 PM the night before. Not that I was missing much in terms of great tastes.

All I have to say is, everyday I realise I am changing. In ways I can hardly predict.

Food and Dinners

Food in the US is notoriously large in portions and high in fat. Yes, yes. All I taste is grease. Oh sorry, yes, also sugar and salt. Did I mention grease? Oh, well you can taste it by smell even if you try to avoid eating it. The trouble with grease is that it makes you want more grease and honestly, a good yoghurt doesn't really compare to a juicy burger. But it's not like I'm going to let a few days in the US ruin my new self-body-image and -esteem. Self-control is key.

Dinners in the US were great! I enjoyed all the conversations and laughs... am especially appreciative of the company. It's just that people don't have to be nice to me (or anyone), spend time with me, help me... and yet they do, you know? I'm very grateful for that and very aware of what it takes to get along with me. At the same time (and sort of unrelated to this trip, but nonetheless it's brought up now), I realise that some people associate with me for their own benefits. I am still unsure how to deal with this, as I am still going through the motions of being hurt and embarrassed. I don't even know that I need to be more protective, as that type of change would be an insult to my own integrity. Do you think? I am unsure. I had a few good conversations with MC and CS (separately) and I often wonder what they think. Maybe the day I figure this out will be the day I know I'm ready to graduate. Or something.

I went to the Graduate Breakfast, which was ok but I thought it was not very well organised. Met some nice people, though not as many as I had expected. Some people were more friendly than others.

III. Coming Down

Aquarium of the Pacific

So the aquarium is NOT the gigantic structure with sea-life painted all over it. No, it is the other building, three blocks away, that has no animals printed on it whatsoever. Brilliant. Anyway, I really like museums, galleries and collections of that nature, so I was quite enthusiastic about this visit and especially with MC there, who would know lots of izzle to complement the sights. Anyway, the aquarium was very pretty I admit, but lacking in information associated with the displays. That is also ok I guess, since I can look up information later.

BOX 2: I'm Creature, I'm Earth, My Mother, My Birth

What really got to me was learning about the distress of the animals, the damage that is brought down upon their habitats and how little anyone cares. Here are beautiful creatures and plants - silent against a backdrop of screaming children running around teachers who seem nonchalant about enriching their students' minds, let alone bringing forth a sense of social and environmental responsibility. There is a curiosity in living things, in our surroundings and how it all works that is crushed by peer pressure.

Ashamedly, I do recall that I used to be very passionate about my dolphins, whales and environment (I was never into horses, excuse me =P). But somehow that got lost. Maybe it was because I made that speech about the environment that was 2 minutes too long and everyone rolled their eyes at me. Maybe it was because I moved onto college and school-work took over my life. Maybe I just cared less. I don't know. I still have my posters, drawings and books. Hm. Sometimes I feel so apathetic. Am I? Have I become what I promised myself not to become?

Anyway, I need a few days to downsize a few videos I took. They will be posted soon.

Shoreline Village

There was a free afternoon on Wednesday that I spent walking along the waterfront. I like doing that and it feels familiar to me, like the waterfront in Wellington or Auckland. I walked as far as the beach and turned into the city. Again, a stranger nodded hello and walked on by. I am not sure why I am seeing a more friendly side of Long Beach than people have been telling me. That's my shadow in the photo there.

I also managed to see Shoreline Village at night later on and that was really cool. I love roaming around, seeing and trying new things, talking to locals, breathing the air... And at night, it's a totally different experience.

The Way Back I guess I was sorta sad and very tired on the flight back. I guess it ended too soon, but I feel motivated, inspired and very much grateful and humbled over where I am and what I have.

IV. Summary

I'm back on Earth, but maybe I have changed again. I have a warm feeling in my stomach that rises up suddenly like bubbles and I can't help but smile. Sometimes it's released as a giggle or even a laugh, but who cares what other people think? I am grateful for the people I have around me and the opportunities I have. There is still uncertainty over what I can do, what will become of me, but I have a much stronger sense of who I am now. I feel so ready to step up and I think I have made that mental move. A little more focussed, a little more alive. Oh, I've started reading "The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold. :) I have recently read "The Chinese Room" by Vivian Connell, which I thought was pretty good. I don't know if I mentioned, but I also read "As You Thinketh" by James Allen and "Concepts of the Self" by Anthony Elliot. The latter was pretty good. The former, not so good. I've also read this paper produced by HP regarding the use of Facebook. Ok to dull paper. Been thinking about ICTs in the workplace and society. Have downloaded some papers on science and education, research-related stuff. I want to hit the ground running. But I have to remember why I am here. I need to learn to drive!!!

February 10, 2008 | 5:45 PM Comments  0 comments


Stories from Home
Related to country: Japan



I have been away for four weeks. 30 days. Over 30 hours travelling. 6 hours lived twice . 6 hours missed. Which hours? I'm not entirely sure.

HOMEpseudo --> HOME1 --> HOLIDAYjapan --> HOME1 --> HOMEpseudo

So many homes, so many lives, so many things to take into account.

Upon return from HOME1, I have
  1. further clarified my priorities and values
  2. collated a series of funny/interesting memories
    • "Stink Guy", "Piss Me Off" - two of numerous translations in Korean comedy series "My Girl"
    • overloading with free pads at the train station - "Christmas / New Years presents for relatives, friends and neighbours!" suggest the sales girls
    • screaming, hyperactive Japanese girls/women all scrambling to buy their "Lucky Bags" on New Years Day
    • "WHAT?! YOU'RE TWENTY??!!" exclaims Grandma...without hesitating, she leans over and whispers (in a not-so-discrete way) "do you have a boyfriend?"
    • "You're actually adopted - we picked you up from a dumpster." "Then, how do you explain the similarities between Grandma, Mum and me?" "We picked all three of you from the same dumpster." - conversations between me and Uncle Simon.
    • Teaspoons - TEAspoons - HK Heritage Museum.
    • Grapefruit can induce bone growth - HK Science Museum.
    • "More and more I'm thinking... we're quite smart." - Aunt Jo.
    • Free wireless 11 Mbps internet at HK Airport.

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January 13, 2007 | 11:13 PM Comments  0 comments
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Medsci 308, octipi and diabetes
About this event: World Congress on Information Technology
Related to country: United States

APPARENTLY, the tutors' office got broken into and my lab report got STOLEN! I know!!! Well, it doesn't really matter in that I'll just email the tutor a PDF, but I mean, some moron out there thinks they can go through life stealing from other people. *sigh*

In other notes, I just remembered that at WCIT, the Octupus Card won the most innovative use of technology (or something, who really was listening)... but the point is... YAY Octupus Cards!! They are pretty schnazzy. Too bad I had to give up my lovely purple student one for the rainbow coloured adult one. Grr for oldness.

OMG and during the presentation, some delegate had a diabetic seizure. It was very scary, but the paramedics took a while to take care of him - I suppose to try and keep people from freaking out. But I had never seen anyone have a seizure before and it was quite interesting in that it IS quite difficult to tell unless you are experienced with it. I was wondering why they couldn't inject glucose into his systemic circuit to improve his status, but then I guess that sudden increase in glucose would cause damage to his cells no less. So I guess they took him away and infused him with sugar water for about an hour and he was fine again. So I'm guessing he has Type 1 diabetes (Insulin Dependent Diabetes Mellitus or IDDM, as opposed to Type 2, Non-IDDM - linked to obesity). Apparently (I just read this online) diabetic seizures occur when blood sugar goes way too low and I suppose this lack of "food supply" to the brain causes erratic firing and hence seizures. But I was wondering why this important guy would put himself in such danger? I think it may be that he was doing what a lot of diabetics have to do - lower their glucose levels substantially before a meal to ensure that it doesn't go too high (glucosuria, toxicity, etc) - little did he know that the speeches would be incredibly long and his blood glucose fell too low. I bet he was taking a slow-release formulation as many people do, or maybe he took some extra faster-onset tablets as well *just in case* and ended up making it worse. I wonder if you can feel nausea before an attack so you can increase your glucose intake?

Filed Under :Health, Life, Technology

May 7, 2006 | 5:22 PM Comments  0 comments
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World Congress in Information Technology 2006
About this event: World Congress on Information Technology
Related to country: United States

Disclaimer:

Sometimes I think I'll get into deep trouble for so bluntly expressing my thoughts in this. Just remember (as I make my disclaimer once again) - I often change my mind and I am usually typing these things straight from my head so sentence formation may not be SUPERB, thus leading to incorrect interpretations. You got a gripe, just let me know. Seriously, I would much rather explain myself 100 times than be misunderstood.

World Congress in Information Technology 2006
www.wcit2006.org

Introduction

So I'm sitting at the airport... about to embark on one of my infamous "reflections". As per usual, I will change my mind, not make sense and play on rhetoric and irony. So is the dialogue of Cherrie... by infamous, I totally mean not-that-famous and those who know of it, don't like it.

I've been listening a lot these past few days : absorbing, immersing, learning, being
  • intimidated
  • quiet
  • passive
As you may know, I ABHOR those last three things put together. I will now dub them the abhorrent trifle. OMG - that is SUCH a pun (like, three or four). I shall not explain it, figure it out yourself. I always suggest (to myself) that the abhorrent trifle should be avoided under most circumstances. I shall now attempt to dissect each of these layers, for sole purpose of seeking a solution to the problem (well, why else would you dissect something, gees)...

Disclaimer: no scientific evidence for the following, only a thought experiment ("because they are cheap and the University is cheap" - Physiology lecturer, University of Auckland)

Cause and Mechanism(s) of Effect:
1) Intimidation is caused by everyone is so amazing, articulate, opinionated and informed, resurfacing feelings of inadequacy: I do not feel the right or need to interject - What credentials do I have? What will I bring? This leads to my silence and passive participation.

2) Intimidation is the perceived feeling, but in actual fact, the true feeling is that of internal contradiction and confusion whereby the topic being discussed in the open conversation is being so hotly debated within my mind (with addition of points from the real conversation) that the real conversation has moves on. This manifests as silence and passive participation.

3) Being silent and passive is part of my upbringing, whereby modesty is greatly upheld by Chinese tradition and the 'tall poppy syndrome' comes from New Zealand society. The reasoning is that these habits are so deeply ingrained that under times of nervousness or intimidation, those traits reveal themselves more readily.

Relevance of Effect:
  • Internal anger and annoyance because I hate 'conversation riding'.
  • Resentment and lack of respect from other members (y'all know this is my main concern)
  • Reflection of incompetence (also main concern)
  • Does it make it worse that I recognise these faults and have not been able to eradicate the abhorrent trifle?
  • Is it crazy or selfish that I get consumed by my internal dialogue, so much so that a lot of the time I shut out from the world unknowingly?
  • Has blogging about it allowed me to prevent another 'episode' as occurred in 2003 and allowed me to express myself in a way that I feel comfortable?
  • Internal dialogue is sometimes "philosophical rugby" - tackling yourself consistently, can you imagine a scrum with 10 of yousrelf against each other? Because you will all have the same capacity and skill, the probability of taking the ball (hey I don't really watch rugby) is stochastic and the long term chance of winning is 50%... or actually less because it is only 50% given that the game has ended. The chance of completing a game is low, I would have thought.
  • Didn't ask all of my questions!!! GRR!
  • Spend too much time thnking about own relevance instead of important issues


Grateful

I am so grateful for this trip, so it is even harder to watch myself be such a freak. These people have been so nice, generous and interesting - yet, they don't know that. I have not been able to express that. Or even contribute to their good experience. Unless I am actually very transparent. In which case, someone should let me know so I can stop worrying about it.

I need to interact with more articulate people. These people I have spent 3 days with are SO amazing. Balanced and fascinating. I don't even care about the things they have done, but just the ideas they have to share and the perspective they bring to conversation.

But, on this trip, I met another of those people.

I also admire the panel's openness with what they wanted, as in gadgets, etc. I think that is cool.

The actual panel and Beating myself

Oh dear, I can remember so many things I did badly on the panel...
  • I forgot to talk about handwriting on MSN and how that helps me learn chinese
  • I forgot to look at Don most of the time
  • I said that pedagogy and the classroom model had been the same for thousands of years?! YOU FOOL, even Socrates and Plato were talking about dialogue and interaction. Duh. Duh. Duh.
  • I said I kicked out my principal because she was being noisy, but I think it was actually someone else during a seminar or small group session. I can't remember.
  • I probably should have mentioned how we judge a company by its website- look, content and smartness of sitemap..."nanna professional"?
  • I used the students as the consumer analogy? LAME! Go shut yourself in the lame-box, Lame-O McLamey!
  • I probably should have said something about how technology enables education to be personalised for each learner, for extended depth and pace - how this will create a sense of ownership which = better learning. This is slightly more interesting (to me) that shifting the teacher-student axis.
People at this conference used much more business terminology as opposed to technical terminology. I was not expecting that. I keep trying to run from business and entrepreneurship, as if profitability was the devil (not that I'm religious). But is it really avoidable? And do I really want to avoid it now that doing business is different to the one-track-money-making corporations in my mind? So what if short term generosity equals long term commercial advantage? As long as there still is generosity and goodness right? I mean, since the long term advantage is not necessarily guaranteed, is the initial act considered altrusitic?

Anyway, so the panel got a standing ovation (the only other person who did was Colin Powell). Watched him speak, Michael Dell and various other famous people I can't remember. I suppose it's a good thing I don't get fanatic.

Future conferences/panels

We talked about the possibility of doing future panels during breakfast at IHOP. By we, I totally mean not me, as I was quiet most of the time, remember. Anyway, we discussed how much it would cost and my reaction was that I'd totally do it for free. I didn't say that at the time because a) it might offend the people who were making reasonable and realistic suggestions b) it may be financially and reputationally stupid. But to be frank, the cause is good, so I'd do it for free provided the flights and accommodation is paid for. They could donate some money to TIG as well, just like Mike was saying. People should seriously take advantage of this free-ness before I wisen up. =P

Rides

Just have to mention that the service on Qantas on the way to LA was the BEST I'd ever had from any airline. Crap on the way back. So cancels I suppose. Met some random lady (Amy) at Austin and shared a taxi with her to the Radisson- I learnt about her background and family - we had a really interesting conversation and she kindly offered me a See's candy (SEE how open and friendly I was before the abhorrent trifle took over, gees). In hindsight, it was probably a bit tactless. Oh well. Well I paid USD$25 (that's like, $6 tip) and we split it. I know. $6. I freaked out. It's America. I freaked. So began the abhorrent trifle. I really shouldn't have given it a name, as if to validate it. But it all begins with acknowledgement, right? "Hi, my name is Cherrie and I'm an abhorrent trifle addict".

I'll consider Radisson also my ride. It was aiight. Compared to the Four Seasons next door? Um.

OMG, we (Rahaf and I) rode in a limo with Don to the airport. Bling.

News and media

I made a point to watch the news in Austin (stayed up to 1-2am) to see if there was any difference . I concluded that depending on channel, the news was only slightly biased, but the biggest difference was the amount of dramatisation - WAY more in the US - no wonder people freak out. I thought the weather report was more informative (though overly dramatic) and drug ads were more informative, including some adverse drug reactions, interactions and recommendation by doctors.

Information Technology

(these are random observations during the writing of this blog entry)
  • I just realised that I don't 'surf' the net anymore. I have the regular sources and visit new sites only when recommended by friends or the original sites. Sometimes from the side of a bus. This excludes searching of course, but i have preferred search engines.
  • A lot of my friends don't use tools like Flickr - because in New Zealand, the use of these tools is more spread out (I think) - for example, where the US has Facebook, we have heaps of these different sites in use, with no centralisation.
  • Why is making friends online so FAST? (speculations)
    • greater tolerance, thus acceptance
    • leap of faith (trust) taken and acknowledged by all parties involved
    • a quantifiable amount of effort spent in relationship
    • easy ways to manage information you've shared
    • can be asynchronous
  • Lying on the net - I don't think its as prevalent as people think, because
    • it is a huge risk on your reputation (takes time to build on some sites, directly related to functionality and relationships formed)
    • it is a huge effort to remember your lies
    • most new friends are friends of friends, so lies are easily exposed
  • I think I need to be more internet efficient.
  • The internet - a place to exclude adults?
    • personally, no. I think it gives me a portal through which to communicate with adults in a way that suits both of us. Without the digital environment, I would (hardly) ever be brave enough to communicate with them. Of course now, it's not so much of an issue, but the internet has really helped me get here.
  • Replacing face to face interaction? No way!

Growing Up Digital(Amazon.com)
Don Tapscott

So he gave me a copy of this book - I am SO grateful. I mean, that's like giving away your painting or poem or something. Well, to me it is anyway, I'm not sure it feels the same when you've sold millions of copies, but if you give it to someone in person, it's more special anyway. And the action of giving a book still resonates with me as the honour of passing on knowledge and learning and saying, "hey, you are worthy of this knowledge". So anyway, it was really cool for him to give me a copy, so I'll add it to the shelf of books I treasure. Note to all : don't start buying me books just 'coz I said that - they have to have special meaning. Anyway, so I started reading it as soon as I checked in (I'm about half way through now) and I must say its a bit of a relief to finally read a lot of my habits are not unusual. By that I mean that I recognise parts of myself (in the past, mostly) that are similar to some of these conclusions (now, my habits are a bit different). But I'm surprised at the suggestion that much of the "skill" people "know" me for is attributed to technology and exposure to information. I thought it was innate or natural - that everyone was the same. Naive. No wonder I find it so hard to understand people who "don't care". Strange.
So I DO represent my generation...
According to this book.
Hmm... keep reading.

It's so funny. I purposely didn't read this before the panel so I wouldn't be influenced. Yet I ended up saying a lot of the things that are in here anyway. So I guess credibility gets a tick. But it's still shocking. I didn't think I was normal.

Random thoughts (in order of appearance during blog-writing)
  • Sandboxes
  • Email lab report
  • I should dance more
  • Cancer
  • I want to write a book...but online...like a blog...but one that people actually comment on
  • I can't believe I got a doggy bag from Four-Seasons. What a gimp. I don't even like fries and fried chicken. Or anything fried for that matter. Not even waffles. But who cares, it's the company that matters.
  • Feel like throwing up
  • Anat tests back - Crappy McCrappadoo. Seriously. I'm not even sure anymore that this ladder is worth climbing if it gives me so much grief. Do I really need to maintain my GPA? Roger Booth did say it was basically impossible. So perhaps I should focus more on publishing a paper in AMJ (American Journal in Physiology) or something like that...oh yeah baby, that's sweeet.
  • My goodness, heavy machinery is fascinating.
  • I just want to be mentored in mingling and socialising.
  • I like directness with large helpings of detail and subtleness. Not just detail and subtleness.
  • Who do you go to for advice?
  • What is the longest half-life of the best digital storage device?
  • Do I MUMBLE?
  • Whoa, so tired - seriously should get more than 2hrs/night

May 6, 2006 | 11:27 PM Comments  1 comments


Austin, Texas
About this event: World Congress on Information Technology
Related to country: United States

  • #1 US city to live in
  • beautiful buildings
  • excellent music scene (#1 live music events)
  • excellent for business
  • excellent for conferences
  • has weird gigantic turkey drumsticks

Filed Under : Life, Technology, Presentations

May 6, 2006 | 11:25 PM Comments  0 comments
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